If i cry he freaks out like a frightened child. Has no idea what to do...If i make it obvious i need reassurance hell try comforting me for about a minute, and if that fails hell run. Is this common with guys? Hes really loving...but not really when i need him to be the most. He just doesnt get it. Its awkward because i can be quite emotional, and am the kind of person who needs a lot of reassurance. I just wish he could UNDERSTAND... Also, after weve argued or ive made an idiot of myself by expecting to be comforted, he doesnt like to talk about it again. And this means it never really mends completely for me. He just says "lets not talk about it now"...I know im probably expecting too much. It just hurts when im in pain and hes run away because he cant handle it. Love-Maxi.Xx
So can most men handle a crying woman?...i mean he just...never knows what to do. And i cry quite often:-S
I dunno maybe he assumes its his fault or something. Hes always blaming himself...but its not him its just me. Tis jus the way i am. My emotions are up and down quite a bit. Im quite warm aswell...but hes not so much, so now i feel clingy and compulsive in comparison:-S awkwardness.
verseau, you sound a lot like myself! I am a very emotional person and my boyfriend isn't. I mean, he is loving and kind and I have seen him cry before, but he just doesn't know how to deal with my emotions. (not that I do either.) He doesn't want to feel uncomfertable, and he certainly doesn't want to think it is his fault that you are crying. Even when I cry about something totally unrelated he will ask what is wrong and if I don't feel like talking about it, he goes totally cold. Most men ( I hate to generalize) are not brought up to show weak emotions. That is why I feel, they do not know how to deal with them. It doesn't mean he doesn't love you, it just makes him feel weak because he cannot save you from your tears. Then again, it could mean he just doesn't give a shit. As long as you don't cry all the time over ridiculous things (except for maybe that one week out of the month) then hopefully you and your boyfriend can deal with this. You clearly need to be comforted, a shoulder to cry on, etc. Explain that to your man, I am sure he will understand.
Have you tried talking to him about it? telling him you're the kind of gal who needs cuddles and reassurances when you're all crazyemotional? Sometimes guys just don't know -what- they're supposed to do in taht sort of situation, so they run away rather than come up with an incorrect solution that could makes things worse (often not realizing that running away is just as bad as saying teh wrong thing) My last bf was like that every now and then. I'm not that emotional a person usually, but I'd just watched a video on rape one day (for some volunteer training stuff) and the main actor in it looked almost identical to one of my friends who was going to school on the west coast, and it was really really really upsetting. He kept trying to make out with me that night, and I was all curled into a ball and said I just couldn't make out that night. So he said "maybe I should just leave then" and he did yeah he's an ex for more than that, but that sure didn't endear me to him. try talking it out with your boy though, I never did taht with this guy and I should've. Tell him what you need and what you expect, then ask him what he needs and expects when he's having a rough day. dont' say when he's being emotional, just when he's having a rough or shitty day.. guys have 'em too but they don't always show it too well. Massages, making food for him, making out or sexual favours tend to be the right solutoins but every guys is different (just like every girl is different) so why not share that information with one another?
there may come a day, when there will be NO ONE to comfort you but yourself. yes, it is true. Life can be cruel that way, because we are suppossed to learn how to transcend our weaknesses, and it may take you til you're my age, which is harsh, i know, so you might think about learning how to get a jump on this now, and try to learn to comfort yourself, and talk kindly and lovingly to yourself when you are freaking out. I have had to do this, i have forced myself to do this, and have avoided bf. relationships for almost two years, specifically to learn how to do this. i am an extremely senstitive pisces/aries cusp, with venus in the 7th house in taurus squared to the moon, so it was my biggest emotional issue. I am happy to say i am 1000 times stronger than i used to be, simply by learning how to rely on myself for a change, in the past two years. And sometimes, it is the very man we are with that *makes*us cry and the whole edeavor of trying to be *comforted* is absurd and futile.
well no, that is not true for all guys... Many guys are just annoyed by it tho, but I myself... I don't mind at all, I kinda like it... I have all thoughtout my life needed to see the direct effects of what I'm doing, and when my baby's crying or sad, and I can make her feel better, it really makes me feel better too... But seriously if you have ti like that, try to explain it to him... Like just tell him upfront, that you don't like it that way... I mean, the least he could do is to give you a hug or something
