Help?! Man Parodies and Funny Stories: Man Comandments

I got a really strange freelancing gig writing satire for a men's website. I am supossed to come up with anticdotes or cmmandments. I am doing okay on the one liner commandments:

• Never keep the engine running when taking your date up to the door.

• Toilet seats are made to go up and down for a reason. Leave it up, and make her put it up for you.

Now I need short anticdotal stories that I can draw quick quotes from. ANy help would be greatlewy appreciatted!

 

A nun joke phrased in the form of though shall not...(with, to, in) nuns would be most helpful!

 

OK this is realy showing how desperate I am to get a publication but sexual mother theresa jokes I am tying to put together too...I haven't sone a non-technical gig for awhile so I am havign a hard time being creative ):

 

grrrrrr guess I'll have to arrange a freaking focus group...I hate hate hate focus groups

 

Whats a focus group?

 

for reals? Where you get your target audience together for ideas and to see how markatable or in need a program, product or service is and to what group it appeals to.

 

I'm done with my piece btw...thanks for all the help though