my girlfriend is very prud shes against oral sex because she consdiers it degrading and "casual sex" sex i try to convince her that i want to do it becaue i want to show my affection for her but she coutners with stuff like well cant you show your affection in a non sexual way ...which i do all the time i just want to do it in this way as well....im not even asking her for reciprication i just want to blow her mind i think if i can get her to let me try it she will love it please help me come up with a pursaive argument
some people dont want to open their eyes, and forcing or otherwise coercing that upon them wont solve much. your best bet is to find out exactly why she feels its so degrading and why its so important for her that you dont go down on her...when you understand that, then you can try and change her mind
she is concerned that its consdiered casual more then that its degrading i think she just threw that out there just for another point on her side and its not degrading if im going down on her i care for her a great deal i dont understand why she would consider it casual when she knows i love her
really guys any help would be wonderful...im not trying to sound like a perv or anything its just i think any romantic relationship is wonderful and although i love kissing her of cours ei think we need a litle more then that
My wife was like that when we started dating. She thought nothing of giving me a blow job, but would not let my face near her snatch. She was brought up Catholic and was taught that oral sex it dirty. (I guess she slept through the "BJ" part.) Anyway, it took a lot of convincing and about two months before she let me lick her. She made me promise to only lick her clit, and not go any lower. After that it wasn't but a few more days and I was tongue deep in her pussy and she couldn't believe she had fallen for that religious bullshit that sex was supposed to be "missionary" position only. Take your time, try logic and reason. Make her understand that you are not looking for reciprocation and that you aren't gonna try to kiss her right afterward. Tell her to give you 20 minutes and if she really, truely doesn't like it that you will drop the subject. (Then drop the girl and find one that will shove your face in her pussy daily. Mmmmmm.....)
The problem is she has it set in her mind that she's not going to enjoy it for whatever reason. Whether the reason is physical or spiritual, moral or emotional is irrelevant. I don't want to rain on your parade here, but you're not likely to have a great success if you do manage to talk her into it. Sex is so much more than the slippery friction of body parts. If her brain isn't into it, the rest of her won't convince her otherwise. The brain is the only real sexual organ... the rest just sends the signals. If the brain is convinced otherwise, you're fighting a losing battle. Sorry, but I've never met a gal who didn't enjoy receiving oral one day and changed her mind because of incredible technique. Sad, but from what I've heard, true.
Just talk to her about it, bring it up a lot, it sounds to me that she's just not comfortable being in that position with you yet. Maybe she's self conscious about the way she will taste to you. I think every girl has been there. I don't know her, so I can't really say anything that would be the right answer. Your the one who knows her best, so try and figure out a way that would help her become comfortable with the idea of you going down on her. My guess is that she's making this crap up to you, it's not really degrading or disgusting or wrong to her, she's just simply not ready for you to lick her pussy. Just reassure her that she doesn't need to be so................stuck up. I don't know. The hard thing about woman, is that they take something like this and use it against you so they can stay mad at you. "I won't let you lick my pussy so therefor our sex life sucks", hahaahhaa, give me a break. Tell her your a man and it's only natural for you to feel this way. She's just got to figure out a way to make it attractive, instead of something that looks so degrading. Good luck with that. Tell her she's...........................without!
thanks for all the help guys i reallydo apprciate it...i dont think it will be happening in the near future but ill just keep bring it up eer now and again so YAY for no sexual activities what so ever....well im crazy about her its cool
Get really heavy int omaking out and when she's going down on you pull her off, look her straight in the face, lay her down and just go for it.
I know I'm kind of getting to this a bit late here, but though I may as well add my 2 cents worth. Although I don't hold exactly the same views as your girlfriend, I do understand where she is coming from/ what she is feeling, because I also do not like having my man go down on me that much. It is not so much about a persuasive argument, because believe me, if she is against it, no amount of arguing whether logical or otherwise is going to get her to change her mind over night. Don't pressure her into it either because it will make her more uncomfortble and will either cause her to give in (and resent it) or make her pull awy from the idea even further - neither of which is a desired result in this case. I speak from experience on this Talking to her is crucial but so is respecting her wishes. If she really doesn't want it, don't force the issue. Aside from talking, you can make the offer to her to just let you try for 10 minutes of so, and make her the promise that if after that time she really doesn't like it at all, that you will stop - and stick by that promise. Something like this is very tricky - my reasons for not liking oral may be different, but the same basic principles apply. She needs to know that she can trust you in that if she agrees to let you go down on her, she needs to be secure in the knowledge that if she asks you to stop, that you will, without question or rebuke. You biggest ally - or at least a recipe that is working for my guy - will be communication, patience, trust and giving space. Talk to her about her concerns, and take them seriously - for her they are very real so don't dismiss them. Be patient with her, sometimes these kinds of things take time. She must know that she can trust you to respect her wishes as well, even if that means you don't go down on her. And give her some space to sort through her issues. Something else that can be helpful is to find out from her if there is anything that she can think of that would make her more comfortable or more inclined to let you go down on her. For example, one of my things is that I am always scared that I won't be "clean" enough, so I will never ever let my guy go anywhere near me there with his mouth unless I have just shaved completely clean and I have just got out a bath where I have washed extremely thorougly (read as pretty much scrubbed myself red) with a strong soap. It doesn't mean that I'm no longer uncomfortable, it just means that I am a little more at ease with a concern than I was previously so one of the stumbling blocks is in essence removed. Talk to her and see if she has anything similar. If she does, working towards doing something to remove the stumbling block goes a long way. My man has been great and very understanding and I know that sometimes there is nothing that he'd like more than to go down on me but he won't do it unless I ask or I tell him it is okay if he asks. But if I say no, he respects that. That is crucial. It lets me know that he loves me regardless, and that I am safe in the knowledge that he will wait for me when I am ready and willing - it takes a lot of pressure off, and sometime, just having that pressure removed can be a huge help in itself. He also went through a stage where he told me that while he might not fully understand my reasons, he would wait until I asked him for it rather than him doing it on his own. That also helped a lot, and he held true to his word as well. Another thing - if she starts to become more inclined to letting you try - don't overwhelem her all in one go. Do it in small but frequent doses. And try to "de-sensitise" her as well. My man will often spend time just kissing my inner thigh, or working his way down my belly as part of foreplay and not necessarily leading to going down on her - the idea being that yes, it is sexual in nature, but it's also done in a loving affectionate way and it shows her that not all contact there is "bad". As soon as my man feels me tense up he will move onto a more "neutral area" but gradually you will find (if you do the same with your girlfriend) that she'll become more accepting of touching and kissing there and it will be easier to get a lick or two in every once in a while without there being an issue, and eventually be able to make a transition to going down on her properly without her being too uncomfortable. Something like this is not easy and it is a work in progress. In the time that I have been with my man - almost 2 years, I can count the number of times I've let him go down on me on my hands, and still have fingers to spare (just just btw, I love going down on him and do so frequently). It takes time, and the person also has to be willing to work on it themselves. But a happy medium can be reached. Just thought I'd put my thoughts forward as I can understand both sides - namely your frustration and her recluctance I hope some of what I've said helps in some way. good luck
