One of my best friends has turned emo-and I think that she may be cutting herself! I asked her what was wrong and she said "nothing". I'm worried about her. Please help!
First of all, don't call her emo. Never call her emo. If shes cutting herself, there can be a couple of reasons behind it. But whatever reason, don't call her emo. Maybe she wants to feel some sort of pain in her life. Or at least feel more in the moment. Which I personally have no problem with, its her body. But you should definitely talk to her and just tell her what you feel, and ask her if she wants to talk about it. But make sure she doesn't take it any further or anything like that, I mean, hopefully se hasn't had any suicidal thoughts or anything like that. But seriously, talk to her, ask her to stop, and let her know that your open to talk about anything with her. _______ You may (assuming you are female) want to hug her, and slowly caress her body. Maybe kiss her...with your tongue. Maybe pour honey all over her naked body and lick it off. Whatever your most comfortable with. And give her cupcakes. Lots of cupcakes. Everyone loves cupcakes...and Metallica.
i am a cutter. i have not cut myself in 20 years; but, sometimes, the urge is just so fucking strong to do it! in my case, and allmost all others. physical pain will stop psychological pain. your friend is in some kind way bad psychological pain! you can ask her what is making her do self harm. the chances are quite good that she will not know. that is the pain stopping her from knowing. when someone is in great mental pain their mental capaticies shut down. she needs to be seeing someone trained in dealing with a self harmer.
cutting is an addiction...its a disease just like alchoholism or drug addiction. Most people will stop on their own at a certain age but a lot of people need help...its not an "emo" thing its a disease thing.
i used to be a cutter and i think i always will be one. i haven't in a while, but like a post above me says, sometimes the urge is so strong i don't know if i can keep away from it in the future. i was horribly depressed and would've been worse if someone called me an "emo". try talking to them in a way that doesn't put them on the spot. when i finally got that, it all just spilled out and i got help for it. if they refuse, go ask someone you trust for help or call a hotline for ideas on what to do.
good bit of insight... But "will stop" should read "distracts from".... as it is clearly not a solution.
I know a lot of people here are saying that cutters shouldn't be called Emo... the thing is, a lot of immature people I've seen actually start cutting once they join the emo scene. Its not like being emo causes cutting, or that only emos cut, but its widely accepted - and almost encouraged - in a lot of the emo crowd. Listen to emo music, etc. Honestly, if this chick is cutting AND is in the EMO SCENE, chances are there's at least a bit of corrolation. You can whine and say all you want that the two things are different, but look at how many people who associate themselves with the "emo" group, also happen to also cut!! I do have experience to back up what I'm saying... yes, i associated as an "emo" at one point (look at my user name). I continue to hang out with a great deal of people who proudly associate with the "emo" fashion and persona... and I respect them for that. However, i also know that the cutting this can be a bit of a fad as well as a phase, and coddling doesn't help. How did I stop? A role model i really look up to one day brought the subject of self destruction up in a conversation, and basically strait out said that people who cut themselves need to grow up and face reality. He said strait out, people who cut themselves usually do it over stupid things and can't deal with their reality even though there are people in third world countries who have it much worse! That verbal slap in the face from reality was exactly what i needed; and a lot of other people do as well! I realized I was being selfish and immature. And (un)miraculously, I stopped. Cold turkey. I grew up. I was tired of acting like a child. Sounds like your friend needs to have a wake up call. Send her to a war-torn third world country and show her what suffering really is.
Emo is just as much as a trend as hippy is. Only true hippy isn't a trend at all. It's a way of thinking. Aye?
if "hippies" aren't a trend, why say they are? In my opinion, there's nothing wrong with wanting to be a hippie, being, a hippie, wearing hippie clothes, talking like a hippie, acting like a hippie, or hanging out with hippies. A lot of people may call them posers, but hey, spread love, not hate, right? Don't be a hater. If a person wants to take tips from the hippie look; well, they have good taste! If someone wants to be a hippie and/or follow the way of a hippie, great! Anyway, that's my lil' rant.
Live and let live... If she wants to fuckin cut, she can. Of course, don't encourage it, but show her that if she does, it's non of your business.
the thing is cutting for attention isnt really "self harm" but it can turn into self harm. Its a heavy subject. Dont even assume someone is hurting themselves to be part of a "trend" always assume they need help...because the thing is if you hurting yourself for attention you DO NEED HELP. bottom line.
I'm not saying she doesn't have a right to cut (it IS her body), I'm just saying its pretty fucking immature.
I don't understand this "emo" thing. I DO however understand the alcoholism thing. I was a chronic drunk until 22 years ago. I've always been annoyed when I hear alcoholics say that it's a disease. I could have used that excuse, I guess. It's nothing but a cop-out, though. It's calling a weakness and predisposition a "disease" to make it appear as if it's beyond your control. When I got tired of slowly killing myself I quit...cold turkey. Am I unique? Am I any different or better than all the others that suffer from my particular, or any one of a variety of weaknesses? No and no again. Crawling into a bottle, gluebag, hypodermic or cutting one's self all serve selfish purposes. Whether it's for attention or escape, whether it stems from peer pressure or mental anguish, it's weak and selfish. Anyone that thinks this is nothing but harsh criticism has to realize that I'm talking about myself also.
agreed.... self injures AND HAPPENS to dress emo? Yeah, slap her in the face, tell her she's a loser and needs to grow up. Seriously, I've been there, sympathy is only going to feed it, she needs a big dose of STFU to wake up.
