HELP!!! My son's school is trying to lable him as ADHD...

God, I can't stand public schools. If every child doesn't conform they want to lable them as ADHD and stick them on Ritalin. My son, almost 9, is a very intelligent little boy. He's also hyper & doesn't like to listen to people of authority (myself & husband included). He isn't the best behaved child in his class; he likes to make noises & fidgets about. I understand that this is distracting to the other children, but does this mean the teacher & principal have to demand testing for adhd & putting him on ritalin? We took him to his Dr. who in turn sent us to a neurologist. The nero. looked at his school PET results - which stated he has ADHD (just by asking him a few Q.'s they decided this) - tested his reflexes, had him read, made him jump up & down and BOOM "You're son has ADHD ma'am". Bull. His Dr. doesn't agree, we all agree he does have behavior issues, but we don't know the root of the problem yet. Anyway, at least once a week the school calls to recomend that we put him on ritalin. I ask you, what is putting my son on this drug going to do? I refuse to medicate the symptoms instead of the cause. Has anyone out there dealt with a situation like this? If so PLEASE let me know what you've done to handle the situation. And thank you all for being my sounding board just now. I'm so angry & confused I just didn't know where else to go for advice...

 

I know that a lot of kids are being misdiagnosed as having ADHD or even ADD. But some of the kids actually do have it.

If the principal is telling you to put him on ritalin without proper testing he/she is out of line. As long as your regular physician backs you up on not medicating your child, then (I believe) the school can do nothing about it, meaning they can't physically or legally force you to medicate Jr.

But they might be able to force Jr. out of school. You said that he is a disruptive influence in the classroom, and that he doesn't listen to his teachers. Ergo, your son is negatively affecting the learning processes of those around him. As much as your son has a right to an education, so do the other children in his classroom.

Refusing to medicate the symtoms is fine, but the cause of the symtoms needs to be found and fixed. The longer your son to behaves the way he currently does, the more problematic it may become. If he doesn't learn proper learning habits he might be in big trouble in the years to come. No matter how intelligent a child is, if they don't learn how to sit still and actively listen, they won't be able to comprehend at the same level as other kids as classes get harder. Eventually, he might be left behind.

As I said, I don't think that the solution with all kids is medication. Now days they hand out ritalin like it's candy. I am sure you have tried to logically talk to your son about his behavior at school, but then again, you also said he doesn't listen to you. Maybe consider taking him to a counsellor? You said that your family doctor disagreed with the Nero's diagnosis, but did the doctor have any ideas of his own about what the cause is?

Sorry I am not more help. My parents are both school principals (my mother at a elementary school), so I have heard this dilemia from both the teacher's side and the parent's side. Please just remember that most principals aren't trying to hurt you or your child... they recommend the ritalin because they see that there is a problem, and ritalin is oten times the easiest solution to a difficult situation.

 

If his doctor doesn't think he has it, then maybe the school is overreacting. You should ask another doctor to talk to him, and see if he\she also disagrees with the school, and go from there.

The school can not diagnose ADHD. Not even the school doctor can do that. They certainly can't make him take medication. They should've suggested someone for him to go see to see if that really is the problem.

 

Lets face it, we're all a little bit ADD. I do know many people who have serious problems and really do NEED the medication to focus, however it's probably the most misdiagnosed disease in America.

The thing is, if it's gotten to the point where the school is calling your house weekly based on your son's behavior, then it's obviously causing a disruption in class. Elementary school teachers can have 20 to 30 kids to deal with and one disruptive child can cause mass mayhem. It's your job to enforce discipline with your child.

A BIG thing that could be the problem is maybe he's not being challenged enough? You say he's intelligent so maybe he's bored in school. I know I was a little hellion in kindergarten and 1st grade up until I got into the gifted program in 2nd because I already knew everything that was being taught to me (could read, write, add, and subtract before starting school). Boredom can make kids do really weird things and some of the worst behaved kids can be the brightest.

Public schools aren't bad at all... you just have to look at it from their point of view. Like Icedtea said, they're just looking for the easiest solution.

 

I think clinical depression takes that particular medal. Though it's pretty close.

 

ADHD is not something to be afraid of. My oldest child was diagnosed as having Tourette's Syndrome, OCD and ADHD at the age of 9 or so. We fought using meds for the ADD for several years. IT was HUGE mistake.

We wasted years that she could have not only been learning in school (and she is a very bright child, and caught up quickly) but YEARS of normal social development!!!! It took almost a decade of therapy to get her feeling accepted by her peers.

Our Ped also said "There is nothing wrong with her, it's just her personality." Peds are often WRONG when it comes to neurological diagnoses. I would trust a good Neurologist WAY over a Ped who is barely trained in recognizing ADHD or ADD.

There is NOTHING WRONG with treating ADHD with drugs and therapy. (IMO BOTH are neccesary, just givng a child a pill every day won't solve the problem, then need cognative awareness to deal with the issues that come up, and learn creative solutions to run ins with both peers and adults.) Finally, after the ADHD and Tourettes' had almost destrouyed my dd's social and school life, we consented to also treating the ADHD. Adderall was (and is) a wonder drug.

Sunshine said she never felt able to stop moving before. She prattled on aimlessly, she was in constant movement (which exhausted her, but the neurological illnesses she had made it nearly impossible to sleep) and she BEGGED Bear and I to help her!!!! I wish we had given up our "we're natural parents" bullshit and treated this child, who has a neurological ill, right away.

The Adderall not only helped the ADHD, but she is one of the 66% of Tourtette's pateints who do NOT have their symptoms worsened by stimulants. She is actually one who has LESS Tourettes's symptoms when she is on the Adderall (but only the regular Adderall, the Extended Release (which doctors like because they claim it is less "abusable.") was awful and increased her ticcing. The regular Adderall, given twice a day made her have less twitches, helped her control her impulsiveness (of course with the help of therapy) and gave her the ability to relax, which is something she actually had never experienced before.

I think Bear and I damaged her, by trying to be all "We won't drug our kid" and if I ever see these symptoms in my other children, I would have NO problems treating them. After all, if you son had asthma or diabetes you wouldn't say "No drugs" you would treat it. ADHD is REAL ineurolocial condition, and often should NOT be ignored, or excuses made like "He's just smart and bored." (Kids who are smart and bored, do not cause disruptions and problems in class, nor do they become "hyper" they find creative ways to deal with it, if there are behavior issues, PLEASE don't blame "he's bored" as the reason. My dh and I didd that for several years, and it delayed needed treatment which would have helped our daughter.

And NO we are not all "A little bit ADD." We all can get hyper, but ADD is an ILLNESS, not the occasional inability to sit still and pay attention!!!!

I'd go with the neurologist's recommendation, and also get a GOOD therapist for your son. ADHD can be succesfully treated, but the first step is to get the parents out of denial. I know, I have been there.

Good luck. Your responsibility is to help your child be able to learn and get along with other kids and other adults. Treatment is, if is is actually ADHD, the best way to do this.

Ritalin is not the only ADHD medication. In fact, most neurolgist try it only of other drugs don't work. Adderall is, imo, the best one (but every child is different) Strattera and a few others are quite good also. I don't personally like the side effects of Ritalin in ost kids (the "Ritalin Stare" really bugs me) but the Adderall is a better drug for most kids, and there are other options as well. Have the neuro treat him, I wouldn't let a Pediatrician go near a kid with ADHD at all. They just haven't been trained in neurology enough, and are prone to either saying "He's fine." or just throw some Ritalin at the child. Both are equally neglectful. A good neuro is going to insist on individual, and family therapy as well, which is neccesary. A pill alone won't do it.

Good luck. You son needs you, and as an adult, you need to rise to the occasion.

 

What Maggie said...Also some of the things that mimic ADHD are lack of proper sleep,too much stress,bad relationships within the family or day to day life,and even a sensitivity to noise.

A lot of kids act out the stressors in their life.If they are sleeping well,eating well,and things in the family are going smoothly and they continue to act hyper and disruptive then they probably need some meds.

 

I have ADD- not quite the same disorder as ADHD, but very close. Similar learning and sleeping issues, without the hyperactivy problem. I do agree that if he has it, he should get it treated. It is very frustrating and it not getting it treated really screwed me up in a lot of ways. Not just with school, either. I spent 12 years of my life thinking I was a total idiot. If your kid does have it, you do not want him to go thru that.

But you do want to be careful when the schools tell you you kid have this or that disorder- this wouldn't be the first time they're wrong when they decide a student has a learning disability. Again, get a second opinion.

It's not so bad having ADD, though. It's really just a different way of learning, and it certainly doesn't mean your not intelligent- actually, people with ADD often have above average intelligence. And my own genius is proof of that.

 

She said that the ped gave them a referral to a neurologist. She then said that "his Dr. doesn't agree" -- since they did see the neurologist, I took that to mean that the neurologist, not just the Ped, thought the school misdiagnosed. Twist1up, would you please clarify this?

Certainly, a second opinion never hurts. And, perhaps a third if the second disagrees with the first (how else will you know whether the first missed something or the second just overprescribes)...

As others have said, you do need to jump on dealing with these behavioral problems, especially if he is being disruptive in the classroom. The suggestion that he may just not be challenged enough by the classwork fits well with my experience of public schools. Of course, there are a million other potential explanations as well -- get that boy into therapy asap! The sooner you can find and treat the real problem, the better!

If the school continues to insist upon ritalin, even after you tell them explicitly that a neurologist examined the child and thought the school misdiagnosed, I would suggest contacting a lawyer. It is rare, but I have heard of one case (not friend of a friend of a friend, but someone who posted his personal experience on a message board) where the school went after him and his wife for not putting their child on meds for whatever psych issue (depression or ADD) they diagnosed her as having. The problem was that she had some other neurological disorder, so the drugs used to treat the problem would cause potentially fatal complications with the drugs needed to treat her far more serious problem. The school went so far as accusing this couple of child abuse for refusing to put her on drugs that could kill her.

Clearly, this is a very rare issue -- I would be surprised if there were more than a handful of this type of case throughout the US. But, if you explain that a neurologist, who is far more qualified than a school doc, has examined the child and determined that he does not need ritalin, yet the school continues to pressure you, then you may need some legal counsel.

 

The ped. didn't agree with the school or the neuro. As it turns out, the neuro my son was sent to is the only one in our area, and are a bit overwhelmed. We are looking into the possibility of Executive Dysfunction Disorder, which fits my son to a T. Our ped. is talking about sending my son to a specialist in Boston. I do agree that my sons behavior is affecting the other students and that is not fair to them at all. I have offered to go in & help out in the classroom & so has a friend of mine whois a retired special ed teacher. So far the school hasn't let us do that. We have yet another meeting on Wed. hopefully something will come of that. If not, I just might start homeschooling him again. I do appologize if I offended anyone out there, I know that ADD & ADHD are real and that many children do suffer. I just think there is more to my sons problem than that. My main reason for this is the way he was tested. The school asked abunch of Q's & the neuro asked the same & made him jump around. How is that a proper diagnosis? There should be more to it than that. Thank you all so much for your in put. BTW we tried Strattera & it did not work & the main reason I'm against Ritalin, Adderal & the like is because they are in the same classification as cocaine. I simply can not put my son on something like that with out conclusive testing. If indepth testing is done & everything else is ruled out then & only then will I allow him to take an amphetamine. Blessed be to all...

 

No they are not. They all may be stimulants, but that is where the similarity ends.(Heck, caffiene is a stimulant, if you want to stretch the similarities.) Ritalin is not even the same drug class as Adderall (Adderall is a true amphetamine, while Ritalin is not.) I, too, fought hard against "my child" needing what I thought were "dangerous drugs" and she got worse and worse and finally we gave up our denial and regular Adderal turned out to be a God Send. It is different than Stattera and different than Ritalin.

You have the right to decide, he is your child, the school has no right to try to force you to medicate your son, if you don't want to. But keep in mind, both the schools and the Neuro see ADHD every day, and they CAN diagnose it easily. There is no imaging or blood tests for ADHD so questions and seeing how the child moves is how the disorder IS diagnosed. People who are trained can tell by these things. And these drugs have been conclusively tested as being effective and safe for most children who need them. Beleive me, I wouldn't give Adderall to two of my kids if I thought there was anything dangerous about the way it was prescribed. (I also have one child who is ADD without the H, and we have decided, with the Neurologist's help, that meds are not appropriate for her. But we have no behavior problems with her, and she never BEGGED for help, as my oldest dd did!) Diagnosing your child with a disorder, based on a book or website is dangerous territory. If you think your child has Executive Dysfuntion Disorder (I have a degree in Child Dev, and I don't know what this is) it should be discussed with the neurologist.

As Dawn Sky said (as others have) the child needs therapy, and it will help your entire family as well. Please look into this option.

Blessings. I hope your son can find peace and a way to get along happily.

 

Oh. I'm sorry. When I was in school, and researching ADD for my own kids, what is now called "EDD" was simply refered to as "psychomotor retardation." NOT mental retardation, but a symptom of ADD or ADHD or OCD which the patient cannot complete a task, even when wanting to. It just didn't have a name, it was just considered an other symtom of ADHD, OCD and ADD.

I quite honestly can't see the difference between ADD and calling one of it's symptoms "Executive Dysfunction Disorder" and considering it a disorder on it's own. Honey, I have been where you are, and the best thing I can say to you now is "Denial ain't just a river in Egypt." The best thing you could do for your son is to accept the inevitable diagnosis. I've been there, and I've damaged a child by pretending it was something else, and delaying treatment.

Please......for him.

 

Maggie Sugar, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for your honesty & sharing your experiences. This is so hard to handle - I have no family to depend on & we just recently moved to this state - so there are no close friends locally to turn to. Since this morning I have called our ped. & he is in the process of setting up an appointment with a specialist in Boston. He hopes to have this set up by the end of the summer. Until then we plan on working on behavior modification & finding a good therapist for hom. My old man is againsst therapy, but I find it to be a necessary part of Justices treatment plan. Thanx for clarifying the amphetamine thing - everyone I've spoke to says all ADHD drugs are kiddie coke - thats what was scaring me most. Researching it online has been one contradiction after another, so I am greatful for the first hand accounts people have passed along. I've come to realize I am in a bit of denial. I keep blaming myself for this, constantly asking myself what I did wrong or what I could have done differently, trying to figure out if I really truly am a bad parent. I am starting to see now that no one is at fault - shit happens - and as a good mom I have to step up to the plate & help my little man become the shining star he is deep down inside.

 

Twist, you did NOTHING to cause your son's issue! Nothing at all. Don't blame yourself. You sound like a darn GOOD MAMA who only wants what is best for her baby, and is doing all the WORK needed to get the best information to help him the best way. I give you HUGS and KUDOS for your work and your caring. Your son is a lucky boy to have such a caring and intelligent mama!

I want you to question, I want you to wonder, I would never want any parent to take any POV (mine a doc's or anyone else's) without deep thought and introspection.

Take the time you need and do what YOU think is best for you son.

You'll do what is right. The struggle will be a long one, (we're doing OK withour ADHD kids, but still there is always work to be done) but you are strong and caring.

Keep on keepin on and caring for him.

People our mother's age always have problems with "their family" needing therapy. They always somehow associate it with "mental illness" when it is just a way to help us deal with the challenges life sometimes throws at us. My dh's family was horrified that we and our children got into therapy. "WHy do you need those headshrinkers? MY son and his children aren't crazy!" When "crazy" has nothing to do with needing therapy. Actually people who seek out therapy tend to be MORE emotionally sound than those who refuse it.

Talk to the Neuro again. You are doing all the right things. It is normal to be a little hestiant to accept diagnosis, I certainly was, and so was my dh. It took him longer than me to be OK with it. But I went ahead with therapy, the Neuro visits and medication and we are doing OK. After a year or two, he realized the therapy was GOOD, for Sunshine (our oldest dd) and for the entire family. He even eventually came to sessions.

Blessings to you, sweet mama. Your son is lucky to have you!

 

I haven't read the whole thread so if this has been covered sorry folks.

He sounds a lot like I was as a kid as well as how my son was & my daughter is. When I was a kid they just thought I was being naughty, uncooperative etc. I was in trouble a lot. Spent a lot of time in the hall, the corner, or over the teacher's knee getting spanked. When my son was in school in the 80's, like your son, they automatically thought he had ADHD. But the neurologist who did similar tests said he didn't or at least it wasn't to the point where Ritalin would do any good. Now that our daughter is getting school age there has been breakthroughs in the recognition of Asperger's & it took a neuro to see it. Many of the same symptoms are similar to ADHD but there are differences too. One of the things about Asperger's sufferers (aspies) is that most are quite intelligent. You said that about your son, I’m not saying that ADHD kids aren't but it nearly always is there with an aspie.

Our daughter is taking Strattera & Adderall both different than Ritalin. She still has issues but not nearly as many she used to.

Asperger is a variation on Autism.

I think that it may be worth another look maybe by another neuro.

My son & I have outgrown this mostly if that what is going on with your son & it is any consolation to you. It is thought to be genetic in many cases. Did you or your DH have any problems similar when you were kids?

There is a lot of information on the net I have never been steered wrong with a google search using the term
asperger syndrome

 

Yes, they'd rather have kids sit around like bumps on a log instead of having lots of energy and having fun. Isn't that what childhood is for?!

 

I'm pretty much forum illiterate, what dose DH mean??? My oldman's half brother has aspergers syndrome, and his mom has suggested that maybe Justice has it also. None of the Dr.'s have mentioned it, but I will mnetion it to his ped. We are looking into a bunch of different possibilities right now. As for childhood being about having lots of fun & energy, ya on one hand it is, but on the other hand if one childs fun & energy is depriving the rest of the class of a good education (like my son's is) , you need to figure out why and try to correct that. Just like with adults there is a time and a place for everything - and the classroom is not the time or place for out of control behavior. If Justice could limit his wildness to the appropriate times things would be so much easier. But as it stands right now, he can't comprehend how to do that. We're working on it though. Again, I thank you all so much for your insite. I spoke with my son last night & told him about this thread & he is so happy that there are people out there that care enough to want to help him -eventhough you don't know him... what a sweetie he is...HUGS TO ALL...

 

has anyone out there ever used an herbal supplement called "Flavay"?
i've heard that it is a good all natural way to help with focus & hyperactivity.

 

find a new school.

 

dh is "dear husband" Or "Damn Husband" depending on the situation

dw is "dear wife" or of course, "damn wife"

dd is "dear daugther"

ds is "dear son"

FIL father in Law

MIL Mother in Law

SIL sister in Law

BIL brother in law ect

Just internet abreviations.