Hi guys, I just joined the site about five minutes ago so I apologize if there have been other posts similar to mine already. Anyway, I have done acid numerous times and never had a bad trip. Then, in November, I dropped 5 1/2 hits of really high powered acid with three friends of mine. I really didn't even think I was going to trip as hard as I did. Looking back, I realize all our mistakes. We stayed in the same room the entire trip with the door closed all night. Also, my friend and her boyfriend and had a bad trip a few weeks prior to this and we could already tell they were starting to go downhill. They were arguing a lot and just saying a lot of things that were making everyone feel awkward. They were just kind of bringing everyone down. At this point, I should have just left with my then-boyfriend, because they were already stuck in their own little world, but we didn't want to because we thought it might freak them out more. So, we stayed. I remember the exact thing that set me off. We had already listened to all the Grateful Dead on our computer so my boyfriend decided to change the music. When the room went from completely silent to enveloped with Mozart's "Ave Maria", we all got the same look on our faces and began screaming for him to turn it off. I don't know what it was, but something about that song sounded so evil, so wrong. From then on, I spiraled downward into the worst feeling I have felt in my entire life. My thoughts and visuals became so sinister and twisted that I could not believe that it was coming from my own mind. After about three hours of this, (at this point it was 5 am and I had been tripping for 12 hours) I begged my boyfriend to "just knock me out, just punch me in the head and knock me out, and then take me to a hospital. I don't care. I just want to get off of this." He eventually called his brother who brought me 2 somas. I power bombed them and then got into the back of his car with a blanket and he drove me around until I passed out. For almost 2 months after that I thought I had gone crazy and would feel that way forever. Sometimes my house would be utterly silent and I could still hear that same song, blasting inside my head. Or I would be trying to sleep at night and I would get the most random but vivid visions inside my mind. It would always be a normal scenario gone frighteningly wrong. I experienced panic attacks and depression. Those effects went away, though. I actually had a sit-doiwn with my mother about the whole ordeal and she gave me some advice that made me feel a lot better. I thought I was over it. Almost done, haha.... a few days ago I took some rolls. They turned out to be better than I expected them to be, but at my peak, I was listening to "The End" by the Doors and in the end when he kinda freaks out, I closed my eyes and all I saw was a kaleidescope of shapes, appearing to be getting more and more intricate the longer I closed my eyes. I seemed to be falling into it. I suddenly realized that the feeling I had was that of an LSD trip and I immediately bugged out. My boyfriend must have felkt the same way because we had one of those moments like on acid where you are so gone that you just sit there like, okay, we have to do SOMETHING to get our minds off of this. I really really want to do acid again because I loved all the good trips I had before the bad one and I want to get myself over this, but I am so scared that if I take acid again I will have a bad trip and I never want to feel like that again. Does anyone have any suggestions? And has anyone felt the way I did, like thinking of shit that is so dark and like, so not you? Because I am beginning to think I am really psycho and it's freaking me out and I just want to get on with my life and continue to experience good trips. Thanks a lot KC Ramone
Sounds like that bad trip actually did give u some fabled "flashbacks" but it is nothing to wory this much over. The thing is its because you are so worried. If you were to take lsd again, you cant be worried about your mind going dark, because that sometimes happens with lsd, and its not always a bad thing unless you make it to be. You just have to go with the flow, and realize wow im having really bad thoughts, and do an environment change/music change. That usually is the only way ive found to get out of that. Unless your with people that you just dont feel comfortable with, then i think its very tough to have a pleasant trip. how long has it been since the 5 and half tabs? I dont think its very great that it took you to such bad places that you wanted to be knocked out to stop it. That shows me that maybe you just didnt mentally prepare enough. Crazy shit can happen but you just have to realize it is the drug and go with it, otherwise your only going to perpetuate the feeling of despair and sink deeper into a bad trip.
That does make sense. The more worried about it I am the more likely it will happen again. But I feel as though I must understand why I felt this way in order to make it stop happening, but I cannot seem to get my head around why things went so wrong in the first place and why I had been thinking such horrible thoughts. I know that if I trip again if I get the thought in my head once then I will just run with it because that is how acid is. Maybe I just need a different environment. Last time I was locked in my bedroom. Most of my prior acid experiences have been at raves and festivals, those kind of things. I think maybe my last one went bad because things just got too real, or it was weird for me seeing my room (which is normally a sanctuary type place for me) so messed up like that. It has never looked the same since. Do you think maybe I should try for an environment where there is a lot of things going on so that my mind doesn't focus on one thing for a period of time? It has been about five months since that happened, so that's why I am thinking maybe now is a good time to try again.
bad environment, bad ppl to trip around, i omly had 1 trip like that, the only time i tripped alone in a closed room, personaly, the dead woulkda ruined my trip more then the mozart, but my guess is the mozart song also triggered some bad feelings based on your old experiences with that kinda thing.. trips are very dependent on enviuronment and u gotta trust how u feel..if u feel unconfy somewhere then go get the hell out in the woods and trip the way your meant to trip...under the stars, not locked in a box with anger
Good lord, that was a bad trip just to finish reading! Sounds like you got fucked up. sounds like you got good rolls. If you know what you did (ie took too much, wrong set/setting) wrong, you should learn from that. stop freaking out, you're fine
soaringeagle: Locked in a box with anger....hehehehe. (= But no the dead was not too bad, certainly took me a few places. I really like your dreads btw if that's you in the picture. acidconspiracy: Yeah I did, lol. Appy polly lodgies for the length of it. I was trying to explain as best I could, but believe me I left a lot out! Anyway, thank you both and I guess I will let you know how the next one goes! Peace and love <333
Actually, yes. I just came across this site today while searching for forums. Everyone here seems to be very nice and helpful, I think it's a cool little place to go and chat with people. And thank you!
hoahaooha! you'll love this site. I was scared of acid since I was 12 until I found this site, and discovered that it's the most slandered and maligned drug out there. It's like discovering fire, then you accidentally burn the forest down, and go tell everyone how wicked and destructive fire is. Partially true, but needs a bit of explaining. Just like 'cid. People just love to separate everything they encounter into exactly 2 categories, good and evil, and perpetually shrink their sphere of consciousness. anyway, you don't find many trolls here. When you hear from mods, they're usually just piping into the discussion, not decreeing behavior. There's definitely a self-regulating spirit here, not dissimilar to the utopian reality many of us envision as part of our value systems.
it is being brought back to you always so that you can analyze every single moment for every drop of subliminal programming i think to do the psychedellic lifestyle, you can't believe accidents exist and with that in mind, you gotta ask yourself, does nature have any other goal than to see all life bloom? The question of will you do good is not so much a question of will "you" do good, but rather, will "it" do good. And of course it will. It has to, thats just the nature of a cycle I think it'd be ideal to just relax, forget about everything that happened. Literally go through in meditation and do that. Let the thoughts arise in your head that you did not like and just say to yourself 'forget' and feel them dissipate from your head. That is unless. You can think of something good to do about those thoughts...
the best thing that can break you out of a bad trip perspective which irrates for months after a bad trip, is to trip again, and have a good trip, and it will cure you. i think you were right about needing to be places with people. keeping your mind pre-occupied is a must for me i find. and you probably are the same. some people are like no way they couldnt imagine being around heaps of crowded places while trippin, but if im not, and my mind isnt pre-occupied, i see scary shit. so id rather have a bit of an overwhelming feeling than see scary shit. but still im over the overwhelming feeling mostly now, its good.
