Ok, i apologize in advance for the long post. Back in January, i found some messages on my boyfriend's phone. He'd been in touch with his ex girlfriend and had sent her a message saying: Your place. A hotel or b&b. My car. Obviously he was initiating sex. I had been suspicious of this ex girlfriend for quite a while now. It was weird because i had a feeling he'd been in touch with another girl. My relationship with him had just survived a year when i found out about these text messages and apparantly him and his ex had been sending sex texts and dirty pictures back and forth throughout my whole relationship with him. I started crying as soon as i found this message - i had always been paranoid about this happening to me as the same thing happened to my mum so i'm well aware of what men can be like. I used to ask him whether he would do these kind of things - text other girls in that way, and he said no, he never would. He lied to me so many times. But the question is, did they actually have sex? I asked my boyfriend this and he said no. I also got the girls number, and she said they didn't either. My boyfriend says he loves me - but surely if you are in love with someone there is not room to think about anyone else? I think about my boyfriend too much to care/worry about my own selfish needs. Shouldn't he feel the same if he really is in love? And anyway, why couldn't he discuss his fantasies with me and not his ex girlfriend? After all, i am the new girl in his life. I know it was the ex who started the whole thing as she is the one who sends him the pictures and txts in the first place, but still, why did he reply? Surely if they'd been txting each other for over a year they would have had sex by now? But then he was only suggesting places to have sex in the txt he sent her.. so maybe they hadnt got to that stage yet. I don't know Anyway, the day after i found out i started crying again and told him how he's made me feel, and then he started sobbing like a baby and said how he felt like such an ass. Started hugging me really tightly and sobbing and telling me how he didn't want to lose me. Said he didn't realise what meant nothing to him meant so much to me. He also said if he did cheat on me, he would tell me as since everything is out in the open now, there is no point in leaving it out. He said the whole thing was just a game, they were just winding each other up. He said he also liked the attention. !! Why did he txt her instead of me? Feel as if he's not attracted to me or something. I really don't know. I also remember one night where i was actually with him and he was txting her. At the time i didn't know he was officially doing it but i was suspicious and my suspicions were correct all along. I can now tell he was txting her because while i was there, he directed my hand down to his (you know what) so that i would play with it. And the next day he sent her some dirty pictures, one of which he sent to me. And i remember asking that day if it was actually meant for me. He replied yeah of course it is, who else is it going to be for? I'm too happy with you to have a one-night stand with anyone else. Which was another lie. I love him so much. And i want to trust what he says. But the whole thing keeps playing through in my mind. I don't know what to do and would appreciate some advice.
"Here honey, touch this while I text my ex-girlfriend." Are you one of those women who get stupid when they are near an attractive man?
that was a sensible post sexy, just because it wasnt what you wanted ot hear doesnt mean its not sensible anyway . you can do better than some slime who flirst hardcore with his ex when you arent around to moderate
Your 18 you have your whole life ahead of you. Geesh.. you can do way better than that . When /if you do ever get another boyfriend he'll be very upset /jealous that he never treated you the way he should of. You can do way better. T
No, you can't trust him... and he can't trust you. You "found" some messages on his phone? Obviously you're paranoid and nosy, and he's probably slimy. This doesn't sound like much of a relationship to me. I say: move on.
if you could read what you just put from an objective point of view.. like i can.. he sounds like a complete twat. there is no excuse for anything he's done and you are only damaging yourself by staying with him [especially your self esteem].. if you stay with him i can guarantee you'll have another situation like this again. Why would you settle for anything less than a boyfriend who treats you amazingly? jess
sexylegz (nice name, btw): I think the question isn't so much SHOULD you trust him as it is DO YOU and ARE YOU WILLING TO trust him. Ask yourself honestly, DO you trust him after all this? If not, then ARE you WILLING to trust him again? That is, are you willing to go through the hard and painful work of trusting him again despite all that he's done? ARE you WILLING to forgive him? If your honest answer to all these questions is NO, then leave him and move on. If, despite everything, your honest answer to all three is YES, then stay with him and work on your relationship (obviously I don't mean you should do all the work, he should also work to regain your trust). You're an adult now and it's your relationship - YOU decide.
You already know you can't trust him what you are lacking is the self respect to do anything about it.
sweety...get out...next he'll have ya givin him blowjobs in the back of porno theaters..hes slime..hes testing to see how much degrading you'll take.. c'\mon sexylegs be a good lil slut & do your job gettin me off ..dont worry baby none of those othert slurts mean anything..your the only slut for me...come on sweety..respect yourself cause he sure aint gonna.. sweety..think about this..hes taken sexy pics of you hasnt he..theyre in his ex's hands now..probly a dozen other peoples too..i know ya dont wanna hear that ..but really this guy dont sound like he cares much about ya & is using you..yea ok tears..sure he can act like her cares when hes about to lose those sexy legs of yours...but if he really cared theres no way hed have you jerk him off while he texts his ex...dontlet yourself be treatted like a whore
I've been there girl. You can't trust him. Whether he had sex with her or not he was planning on it and thats enough. You have to get out of this relationship. I understand that it is a lot easier said than done. I was with someone shitty like that for 3 years and finally I stood up for myself and stopped taking his shit. And he cried and begged me back but eventually I did not give in. It was hard to get out of that relationship and it sounds like you're in the same place. He's not treating you right and he's not trustworthy, you probably deserve better, just leave! Good luck.
