Help--Sometimes Youth Groups make me wanna bang my face against a wall.

I was (am) raised Baptist (Cooperative Baptist Fellowship, not Southern Baptist, if that tells you anything) in North Carolina. I stayed in my Church's youth group for 2 and a half years, until I couldn't take it any more... I've realized for several years now that I'm agnostic/atheist, but because I like hearing and considering new ideas, I kept with it. (Obviously my parents don't know that)

What finally turned me off to the idea is how it seems like they all have good intentions, but they miss the point by just a few inches(and often seem hypocritical in the process). Since I stopped going, I've met some really cool people who go to another Church's, but, seem to share(or subscribe to) the same ideologies that I just don't seem to be getting. We have had a couple conversations relating to Church, but I never take it too deep, for fear of causing an argument. My first question is, is there an easy way to have a conversation between two young people of (seemingly*) such differing beliefs? I just want to understand, not argue. I'm not saying anyone is wrong here, and I don't want to give any misconceptions.

*I say seemingly because I feel like we're along the same lines, until a forest-for-the-trees situation comes up again. Oh, and the whole cross thing. But that's another story.

Now, to my problem/misunderstanding with the way many youth groups seem to be doing things today... I can only describe this using examples.

-the Jesus Saves shirts in the style of a popular company. What message is that trying to send?
-A friend of mine seemed almost glad they lost all of their CDs at a youth retreat; they had been talking about the importance of Christian influences in the music you listen to, and apparently he didn't feel he had enough of that. When trying to explain it, he used the example of curse words. Now, I understand the point, and agree that you shouldn't promote a bad idea by listening to music that does, but the curse words in and of themselves aren't the bad idea.
I can only hope I'm making my point clear.


Anyway, these guys are smarter than a lot of people I know, and appear to think a bit deeper than the general population, but they don't seem to see any conflict between more 'open minded' or 'left leaning' beliefs and their religion that they tend to nitpick on sometimes. (They claim to be accepting of homosexuality, and one is an anarchist). (And no, I'm not looking at beliefs in a linear way; I'm just using those two examples to show how sometimes they think outside the box, but others they don't see past their own contradictions)

So, my other question is, what am I not getting? Or are they probably going through a period of spiritual discovery, trying to reconcile the conflicts themselves? I just feel like I'm missing something, and I really do want to understand. If I've sounded, in any way, hypocritical, intolerant, or just plain ignorant, please forgive me.

If you need to know anything more in order to answer, feel free to ask.
Thanks. (and sorry it was so long)

 

Hey jirachi,

To be blunt, it seems as if they have found their ideal flock to run with. It's a pattern with religion. Human beings tend to stick together in ideals instead of being truly open minded with one another. It's a form of security, which may arise from fear of facing ourselves. Self-manipulation. If you flood yourself with Jesus, then you no longer have to look at yourself just as you are. Then your self image isn't difficult to look at, your self image has a positive association that can be focused on, and the rest can be forgotten. The problem gets to the extent where someone can begin to become hypocritical, as they can't see the limitations of their own belief. In fact, they may see their belief as endlessly promising! But from an outsider's view, this can be disconcerting and obviously false.

In order to talk to someone who has engrossed themselves in a web of their own weaving, you have to weave with them. In other words you have to speak in their own language, use their understanding to bridge the difference between you. Just put yourself in their shoes. It's not a matter of higher or lower understanding, but if they are narrow, go ahead and do it too. See what they see and use that to help communicate.

I feel you are right on with this. We are all in conflict at times, but what happens? Do we acknowledge the source of this conflict, or supress, extend and project it into ideals and objects?

 

Thanks, shaman sun, that gave me something to think about from another's perspective, and it really helps make more sense of it; I really like that. I'll take that into consideration on the next religious conversation attempts.

 

Why do you say that? What don't I get?

 

I was raised as a southern baptist, however, even as a child, I knew what I was being told was just so much hot air.

A spiritual path is not something that is static. You need to feel it moving along beneath your feet. I left all religion behind me many years ago, and my spiritual health and understanding has greatly improved since.

In society, you are put under peer pressure to conform. This includes religious beliefs. It takes a brave person to break away from the pack, and you should be prepared for all the slings and arrows that will come your way for doing so.

The "sheeple under the steeple", as I like to call the religious, are just following the wagging tail in front of them.

Its the brave who discover God.


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