I'm very confused right now. This past Saturday was my school's homecoming and so after the dance me and a bunch of seniors(me being the only junior besides for the varsity quarterback) went to a field party. By the time we got to this field there were about 15 people. Throughout the night I noticed this one guy and he stood out as really cute to me. As things went on and the more I drank I started to really like him. Towards the end of the night he was taking care of me, rubbing my head, laying with me, and making sure that I didn't drink anymore. I'm really confused because I don't see why this guy I barely know was putting all this effort into making sure I was alright. He didn't drink a thing and would only smoke the occasional cigar(because he had to drive anyone home that was too trashed). At the end of the party I was going to go home with him but my friend didn't trust me around him without throwing myself at him. He has a gf in college pretty far away, so that pretty much ruins anything. I most likely made a fool of myself and I mostly remember him laughing at me alot. Was he only being nice because instinct took over or did/does he actually genuinely care?
i agree maybe he was just a nice bloke, i think the only real way you can find out is by talking to him, ask him why he was nice you to, ask him how is his g/f crap like that
perhaps he's one of that rare kind of men who are actually nice without having a hidden agenda...i dont know whether thats bad for you or not..
It's definetly not bad that he's just like that, but I just hate the fact that maybe that's just the way he is. After dealing with an asshole that would have taken advantage of the situation(my ex) when there is actually a nice guy I automatically just don't know how to react. I know I need to talk to him because in my drunkeness I started talking about a long standing crush on him that I had. Now I just need to figure out how to do that without making a bigger fool of myself. Thanks for the speedy replies.
I agree a decent sort of dude would look out for someone younger that was messed up. However, thanking him when you are both straight would give you a chance to size up the situation and see if there is anything personal going on. Good luck! - I feel obligated to act the old man and remind you not to get too trashed around folks you may not know as well as you think.
Well a guy like me would have done the exact same thing, but as far as hidden agendas, no straight man could tell me to my face that there are no hidden agendas here. Being polite and getting the return business is what is at stake here! CachedOut
I'd say he likes you. Your a sexybird yourself, why wouldn't he, regardless of his pretty gf. But would he leave her for you, that's another question?
ok let me set this straight for ya. If he wasnt drinking and was taking care of everyone else that tells me he is a good guy. Now Im sure he was attracted to you on top of being caring. I mean he is still a guy. He was trying to keep it innocent but was flirting with the line of thinking with his head on his shoulder and well his other head. That a thrill for all of us. not being bad but not being good. Follow me? I promise you he was struggling with the thought of whether or not he should have hooked up with you. He loves his girl who is away but you cant deny right here right now. When blood enters one head it leaves the other and there aint enough blood to fill both so things can happen. No here is the catch 22. I think he is probaly a stand up guy and doesnt wanna leave his girl....yet. He also has to be thinking is she doing the same at college. those relationships barely make it a semester especially if the people are attrative to the opposite sex. Lets face it the shouldnt the are too young to be so commited in a long term relationship. Here come the catch Im sure he would love to have you as a secret side dish that may become more down the road but would you be cool with this. Or he may one day soon get tired of that relationship and come running to you. One thing for sure is you made him question his long distance relationship. Cheers!
Thanks nomad12, I never really thought about that. I was supposed to go to another party with him a couple weeks ago but the seniors that usually bring me didn't want me to go because THEY didn't want me to get attention. The fact of the matter is that half of the guys don't drink and they know that I would be one more girl to be taken care of, and they also like this guy. I found out after the fact that all night he was asking where I was. Everytime he has a party he expects me to come, except for the girls that "invite" me always find someway for me not to go. So obviously there must be something going on there with him. His gf is here this weekend so we'll see what happens. I just really want a guy of my own and that's really hard when I'm hung up on this guy. Add to the fact that I'm close with his little sister and that makes things even worse. All the guys I have a thing for always have something standing in my way. edit yet again: the girls that bring me also have a thing for him, so that makes it ten times harder. They've known him longer, are in his grade, and are close with his friends.
well sillybird... turns out I have found myself in many a situation similar to this one. i think a lot of guys, at least the "good ones", just feel obliged to take care of a drunk girl. no matter how much they try to deny it, experience tells me that when it comes down to it, most guys really do care. chances are he felt some sort of connection with you, otherwise he may have kept an eye on you, but probably wouldn't have taken care of you persay. as for finding out what his exact intentions were, you really should just talk to him. i suggest calling him up just to say thanks for taking care of you. you might be able to get enough of a measure on the situation just from what he says in response, but if not it wouldn't be too difficult to bring it up yourself, i'd imagine. and if all else fails, chop it up to being drunk and possibly having a distorted view of reality.
Well it's been over a month and I pretty much have been avoiding him. My friend that brought me(well the sober one atleast) said he thought it was cute(me liking him, and that he just felt drawn to take care of me for some reason). I've tried to talk to him but then I just kinda freeze up and we make small talk.
he was just doing the same thing i,would have been doing,everytime a girl or a guy gets too drunk i always feel like i should take care of them
There is almost always a "mother" of a party group (not saying that it's automatically a female). He probably was attracted to you. I've noticed that even a completely loyal guy in a relationship will find the prettiest girl at a party to take care of (or talk to) if he's playing the "mother" role. Think about it, he's sober with a bunch of friends that are partying. The best way to have fun is have something nice to look at. You are also an intelligent and intelectual girl, you seem to be more mature then most girls your age. He might even see that and admire you more then the other girls at the party. Also, you said the other girls know him better. He's already gotten to know them so there is really no mystery there. One of the most entertaining things is getting to know someone you don't already know. Even if you were drunk, your body language and how you carry yourself still speaks a lot about the type of person you are. Besides, you mentioned that you told him about having a crush on him. He was probably rather flattered (at the VERY least) and wanted to take care of you as a way of saying "I appreciate your flattery".
yeah man us guys arent all sex crazed fiends, we care a lot, he was being genuenly nice... evey time i try this the girl comes on too strong, hes a nice guy sounds like, i used to do that more now i havnt had the chance but still would, btw it may not jus be that he likes u, he cares for you yes but he may not want much in return
OK, so this guy seemed to have been taking an interest in you, despite the fact that he has a gf. Maybe he was just nice, but you were hoping it was more... So are you a complete masochist? You would want to date a guy who might be flirting with other girls any time you're not around (since you're hoping he was flirting with you)? You want to always wonder when (not if) he's going to dump you because some new girl caught his eye? If maybe this time will be the time he goes ahead and fools around on his gf (you in this hypothetical scenario)? Now, I'm hoping that he's just a genuinely nice guy. Despite what some of the little boys in this thread have said, there are some guys who can be nice, caring, and considerate with no hidden agenda. But seriously, he has a gf. Get over it and move on. If he would cheat on her or dump her for you, you don't want him! And if he won't, he's taken! I hate to see silly girls get hung up on guys who are already in a relationship...
CachedOut: I did this one time. I was a little drunk myself, but nothing big... I supported a chick who had gotten way too much booze. And kept crying about how her father sure would beat her up and that he didn't love her. She also said she had no reason for living and shit. I had no hidden agendas. Though she is pretty hot. But as far as humanity goes I say we need more hippies and hippie-souls who can be giving and caring without expecting anything(at all) back. Don't expect sex from everyone!
