okay i am very pathetic. I am in 11th grade and my last girlfriend was in 7th. I am shy around girls and havent even made out. It has been just recently that i've been talking more to girls and actually hanging out with them. I look young for my age and that just adds to the shyness. I have had some girls that liked me and i couldve gone out with them, but i wasnt attracted to them because i am shallow and worry what others think. I cant stand it anymore. There is one girl right now who i always talk to and she leaves me messages at night because she likes to. Sometimes it seems like she likes me, but now a days she i believe she just sees me as a friend. She always tells me about this guy she likes who is friend of mine also. I cant stand it, im starting to like her, but im so shy that i have to know she likes me to ask her out. I need help just going to other girls and starting a conversation. I have like no self confidence. I am not even a nerd or anything. Please help me! I cant stand this anymore.
ask to borrow a pen or pencil or ask about homework... then a conversation may strike from there or you could do the classic drop your books in front of them and see if they help you thing what have you got to lose? If she isnt interested move on. if you really like her, Do you really need an excuse to talk to her? Just go up to her and say some line like "you look cute (or whatever you prefer) today" I am a girl and I always fall for sappy lines like those...
Dude... fuck that insecurity shit. I know it's hard to get across and even harder to understand, but just go for it! You seriously have nothing to lose but the little 'pride' you may have. I got a girlfriend at the moment, even though it seems we're having another one of those little... shit i don't even know what we're having anymore. Whatev, look this isn't about me. It's beatiful, it's sad, it hurts, it brings you high and brings you down just do it man... seems like you're a pothead, think about the first time you tapped that joint or pipe or blunt or whatever, you were probably hella nervous (atleast i was). It's just like that... you're fucking nervous but once you do it, whether or not she goes out with you, you still feel good for atleast doin it you know? And honestly, it doesn't matter what you feel like inside - as long as you're composed on the outside you'll do fine. I hit it like that and never been rejected. Peace bro, n good luck. Keep us updated aight?
Midnight, I feel for you, bro... At the ripe old age of 40 I finally have a wonderful woman in my life, but I was at least as shy as you say you are, at your age. I didn't even date much in College... It took me a while. I should have started much sooner. *Don't be like me!* You can do it! Here are some suggestions: 1) Find a mentor. That's right. Ask for help. Your Dad is your first, and best resource, but if he's not around, find an uncle or grand-dad or neighbor or someone who seems to *REALLY* have it together with the ladies. They should be honored. 2) If you're where you don't have enough resources (I'm guessing this is likely) then you may have to edu-ma-cate yourself. Books can help, if take with a BIG grain of salt. This one is aimed at an older audience (maybe 30-ish), but it should be very helpful to you too. It's all about how to get outside that box, and starting to connect. Stuff like lakeoffire was talking about. It helped me to finally figure it out: Guerilla Dating Tactics by Sharyn Wolf http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0452280117/ note: Do *NOT* let your friends see or hear about this... you'll never hear the end of it. Your folks will probably be fine with it. 3) Looking young can be a benefit... you may have "cute" working for you, or you may have "strong" or "friendly"... Go with your strengths... 4) Don't worry about screwing up. You're going to. Just remember what Aretha Franklin said about "Respect," and then forge ahead, knowing that you WILL make some horrible blunders. Remember, practice makes perfect! OK, now. About your particular situation... I'm reading LOTS of mixed signals... She may be using you to get to your friend... not a good sign. Here's some pretty advanced stuff: You CAN work "friend" into "love interest," but it's hard. If you frame the relationship as "buddy-friend" that's all it's ever likely to be... could be educational but not romantic at all. If you frame it as "flirty-friend" then there's always a possibilities. Tough call in your case. Do you really want this girl? or is she just a connection? Decide what you want, and then stay open to the possibilities. Good luck!
The girl either probably A) likes you, or did like you (which can mean she can like you again so dont worry) but felt that you werent interested in her so decided to try n move on...or B)sees you as a good friend, in which case being just friends aint bad at all, if you feel as though you could build up a really good friendly relationship with her then she can help you overcome your shyness. Shes not gonna laugh, if she aint a bitch that is. Its probably really hard for you to get your head around the "just go for it" thing, so maybe havin this girl as a good friend would help youto do that with other girls. And if the sexual tension is there between you two then it doesnt mean that something couldnt happen with the both of you. Just try to think of girls as like boys, instead of thinking girls are difficult to approach etc. Or alternately you could try gettin pissed n goin out to a club n meeting girls that way, as for the makin out bit that comes naturally!
