How can I learn to enjoy myself and stop worrying about everyone else's problems?

Sorry it's so long--I bolded the important points if you don't feel like reading it all.


I'm a senior in high school, and I think this may be a result of actually seeing a lot of the troubles that I've learned about over the past few years. I'm pretty well off--I'm a white male, an only child, my parents love me (even though I don't have a very close relationship with them), and our economic situation is stable enough to where I don't have to worry about getting a job or how I'll get money for college.

I have months at a time that I'm really up, and months at a time that I'm really down--I feel as though I've resolved most of my issues--I'm okay with not being a Christian and not being heterosexual. But I worry about other people a lot, and I think it's probably getting excessive--that's usually the only reason I'm sad when I start feeling really bad. I feel like I can only be happy once everyone else is happy, which is obviously an impossible standard. I try to do anything in my power to help the people around me, but it's never enough.

It's amazing how fucked up the world is--I don't have to say it, but, I guess it's just still amazing to me when I think about it; it's so ridiculous--I have a girlfriend whose parents verbally and emotionally abuse her (her dad's an alcoholic), several people I know went from happy, conservative, straight-edge Christians (which I generally disagree with but respect) to emotionless atheist stoners (which I also generally disagree with), this one very poor sixteen year old freshman who has an IQ of probably about 80 with extreme ADHD and acts exactly like a seven year old has kind of latched on to me since I’m the only person who’s actually nice to him, and other friends I've had for years get caught up in petty bullshit like who's going to be valedictorian or win spirit week. I feel like I'm the only one who sees this web of problems for what it is, and I have no one to completely relate to. Not to mention impersonal issues that I feel just as strongly about, i.e. the larger social issues that these specific examples are only a part of. In the past couple days, I've resorted to trying to make myself be happy in little ways--wearing my Pikachu shirt, listening to more Janis Joplin and Grateful Dead, but as soon as I got to school this morning I got into a conversation with this girl who seems ready to do anything, possibly even suicide, just to get away from the same problems I just listed (including the one I'm having.)

Even though I realize I can't save the world, I still feel this way. I wish I could talk to Kurt Vonnegut, or Pete Seeger, or Ken Kesey, because they seemed to have a way of dealing with this problem that I don't. Their work thrives on the recognition of the world’s problems, but they seem to help solve them by demonstration; helping directly when they can, but helping overall in a more general way by enjoying their life in spite of it all--that's the impression that I get from reading/listening to them speak. This type of attitude is a contagious form of happiness mixed with social concern—that's how I feel when I’m feeling okay. But when I’m not, I just can’t stop worrying.

Has anyone else ever had this issue?

 

Wow, I can totally relate to you. I actually wrote a book (on line for free on my blog) and one section states "You won't be happy until everyone has everything"

I thought it sounded a little extreme at first, but this is in essence what I am reading from you.

We are very sensitive beings and now with information being shared across borders, we are able to find out about all types of tragedies that occur on the other side of the world. And this is in addition to our own little lives.

The book is long (317 pages) but what I suggest is to stay positively motivated for as long as possible and do as much as possible with your life.

This issue won't go away. Meaning if you're sensitive like this, that won't change. And I don't think you should want it to change.

Instead, channel it to make sure you are constantly positive and try to encourage people down the same path.

The world is shrinking as we become more proficient in communication, and you'll see ultimately, I believe, that your sensitivity goes a long way.

You have no idea what your concerns for others are really worth.

It could be that by simply listening to another person or helping someone out, you changed their entire reality.

That's my 2 cents, anyway. Hope it helps and may G-d Almighty bless you in all that you do.

 

You have a terrible affliction. Teenage heebie jeebies.

Fixing to get out of that rootbound pot for the first time. A little nervous about it. The future is the edge of a cliff on a foggy night.

But you know what? You are SO going to enjoy the growth, you don't even know.

You'll know what to do when you get there. No worry.

As for now, your power of discrimination is real sensitive. Once you figure out that's normal, you'll settle into a gentle transformation that will make you a butterfly.

Ultimately, you have to please nobody but yourself. When you're happy you'll radiate it back out into the world. When you're unhappy, you send out feelers looking for answers.

Careful those don't get stomped on. But they can work wonders.




x

 

questing400, I'm assuming there's a link to your blog in your profile? (I'll check later).

Thanks to both of you; I'm really glad at least someone has felt the same way, and xexon, your post really made me smile.

Why don't most other people feel this way?

 

Most people try to numb themselves to the point of not caring about anything around them. Life really wears on the sensitive people and it's a challenge.

You're young now and have a lot of energy which is amazing, but you might find as you get older that life wears on you and you can't expend as much energy as you would like on other people and their needs.

 

great to see that there are other sensitive types. i struggled with this horribly all through junior and high school. people thought i was weird because it's not 'normal' to care about everyone. may not be the norm but if you want a peaceful world, it's the right way. have you tried volunteering somewhere to turn some of your concern into action? i've always found it helpful.