how do i tell my parents i'm moving to canada and getting married in two months?

**warning, this is really long... i tried to break it up for you **

*sigh* oh man... this is a big one... my fiance and i decided a couple days ago that i'm goign to move up to canada with him and we're going to get married right away. we feel it's the right decision at the right time. if we didn't live in different countries we could afford to live together for a while and plan a big wedding and both of us could work... but immigration laws require us to be apart for a long time to have any decent sort of finances and frankly we're sick of it. plus our plan was to move up to canada eventually anyway, and i have recently decided on a career path that involves more schooling that i cannot afford right now. not to mention i've been dying to leave this horrible town for years now.

thing is... my mom is going to freak. she'll try to rationalize it all and she'll mostly be calm as hell... (which i know it can be rationalized, i know the alternative that will make her happy) she'll "forbid" me to leave... she'll tell me all her nurse friends don't think i should do it and all her other friends and family say i shouldnt' do it... lol. and this method has worked in the past.. because i tend to be cautious by nature anyway. but this time i am set on doing it, i just don't want guilty feelings and hurt feelings getting in the way... i still want everybody to be happy.

my fiance and i are getting some money from his parents for the wedding and we've already decided to use some of it to help my family fly up there if they need it too... so hopefully that eases some of the stress.

i don't know, i'm nervous and just need some encouragement. other than my parents' reactions i'm actually really excited

 

anybody have any experience with this sort of thing?

this is what i'm thinking of saying... i don't know if i should wait for a response or just take off... maybe include something like, i dont' want to hear any objections only encouragment and help or nothing.

"hey mom i have an announcement. i'm moving up to canada the end of september, beginning of october and am getting married a couple weeks later. you all are offically invited and charles and i have decided to help you out with ticket prices if you need it."

charles says i should tell them " this wedding is for us and if X or Y can't attend then they'll have to come to our second wedding /renewing of vows" this way my mom still gets her family wedding (she eloped both times she got married.. well the second marriage included the immediate family-her kids- and some friends but no extended family at all)

i guess is also my hipforums announcement too... lol

 

that sounds crazy, you're fiancee must be one hell of a sex pot to do that for...and muscular, good looking, extremly witty yet modest in all forms.

 

http://www.uscis.gov/graphics/howdoi/hdifiance.htm

Your partner can get a visa to live and work in the US even before you get married.
Its the K1 visa.
And once you are married he can become a permanent resident.
I dont know any canadian laws, but i dont blame you for wanting to leave bush country.

 

I did something similar once, although not as drastic. When I was a teenager, I decided that I was going to go to another state for a month, but I knew my parents wouldn't approve. So one day, I grabbed a bag of garbage, and as I walked out the front door I yelled out "Mom, Dad, I'm going to take out the garbage, I'll be back in a month or two."

Then I got in my car and drove off before they could come outside and say anything.

(If you try this, let me know how it works out for you.)

 

I don't know- I would just tell them and if they don't like it, oh well. You're an adult.

 

"After you have been admitted to the United States as a Fiance(e) and have married your petitioner within the 90-day time limit, you are now eligible to adjust your status to permanent resident status."

which means we'd have to be married for my status to become a perm resident, once i get my perm residency approved then i can work...the K1 visa doesnt really change anything since im already legally allowed to enter the states and marry her.

 

As a side note, you should really think about what you're doing. Sure, Canada seems nice now, but in a couple of months, the whole country will be frozen solid.

You should spend a few weeks living in a deep freezer first, just to get an idea of what Canada is like and to see if you would really want to live there.

 

From what i've seen on these boards canadian women are pretty cool, get drunk and get high alot and have grandparents who come to florida all the damn time and bug the hell out of me.
They dont have a chimp for president either.

 

booshnoogs, that's awesome! hahaha my brother has said he would do something similar when he moves out of their house... just disappear one night, maybe when they're on vacation move all his stuff out without telling anybody... horrible.. hehe

ravingsultan we've looked into that and it's not worth it... we can get him in the country without paying for that thing, but it's a lot more difficult here to actually immigrate than it is into canada. it also doesn't guarantee residency after getting married. plus we both want to be in canada anyway. we were only staying here for my school but since i can't afford to go for a while anyway, once i become a canadian resident i get resident tuition prices up there, plus i'll be able to work too.

 

I really don't have any advice, but I wanted to say...CONGRATULATIONS!

And good luck to both of you!

 

I wish you two lots of luck!
P.S.
Bush is a fucking asshole, you'll be so much happier once you are out of that turdbowl called Texas.

 

thank you that's what a friend of mine said too.

 

thank you so much i'm really excited... i think i'm goign to drive up there with my dog and my rodeo packed full of my shit. lol maybe visit my grandparents in indiana too... that'll be nice

 

I've done this whole thing, but she came here, now we're separated but still sort of live around each other

Its pretty much what you have to do to be with someone from another country, unless they already have a work visa or something like that. I'm sure your family will undestand, if not, well they will have to learn to, one life is all we have

I would just say the title from this thread minus the "how do i tell my parents" part

good luck guys, its not so hard really

 

Sorry about the texas rant. Sucks to see another pretty one become unavailable.

 

and the question mark...that migth confuse them

 

thank you yes, i leaving texas and bush to live in the wild freedom of canada... "Oh Canada!" lol...

 

wow i respond super slow to these things.... seamonster thanks a lot i'm glad to see somebody posting who's done something similar. dangermoose already told his mom, who was wanting me to go up there anyway (which is good since she'll be the closer parent)

 

You're welcome.

I'm excited for you too!