Long ago there was a famous song that went: How do you like your eggs sunny side up? To which I always wished that the female part of the duet had responded I like mine Fertilised ! I told this to my grandad - who seemed to be pondering on it for a while before collapsing and dying of a heart-attack infront of my eyes. This had a profound effect on me and didnt dare mention to anyone that the implication of a woman having her eggs fertilised had probably killed him as his doctor had long before told him never to even think about a womans ankles - let alone any other bit of her anatomy otherwise the strain on his heart could kill him. It was the perfect murder and I inherited several million pounds from him. Nothing else had worked - I had even left porno mags strewn around his kitchen for him to find - but with failing eyesight he could hardly make out what they were. I used to play the soundtracks to porno movies to him but what with a dodgy hearing aid - the sound had to be turned up to the level of an Oasis concert and it somehow killed the passion. Yep it was a simple song and an idea that killed my grandad all characters inclluding me are fictional BTW - I never had a grandad I was created in a test-tube
Thank you - read my biographies of harold wildson and margaret thatcher - two ex prime ministers of britain - one of them had balls of steel and a voracious sexual appetite and the other was a bore who bored his way to the top BTW forget the official version of history this is the actual truth
