how long does it take a guy to say I love you

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by lynsey, Jul 29, 2006.

  1. lynsey

    lynsey Banned

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    mine have always been in the first month but I know this is not normal. My friends asked me to day and I am just curious what's the normal amount of time to wait until a guy says he loves you?
     
  2. moon_flower

    moon_flower Banned

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    My boyfriend told me he loved me after 6 months.
     
  3. spooner

    spooner is done.

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    depends on how hard it is to get the girl naked.
     
  4. Raving Sultan

    Raving Sultan Banned

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    i have regretted saying i love you now a couple of times. all i can say is that actions speak louder than words.
     
  5. lynsey

    lynsey Banned

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    this is so very true...i love you...blulshit well then prove it and do more for me than other people who don't love me do
     
  6. Adgreyga

    Adgreyga Member

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    mine said it after like 2 weeks i think and totally meant it i say. ever since we began our rleationship hes lived up to his confession and tells me everyday that he loves me. its been 2 months now.
     
  7. dawn_sky

    dawn_sky Senior Member

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    I told him that I love him after about a month. And he said it back -- not in the "crap, she said it, now I have to say it" way... He truly meant it, but wouldn't have said so that soon had I not already said it. But, then, we were pretty much best friends for a few months before we started dating, so it's not like we had only really known each other for such a short time.

    *Edit -- this is refering to my fiance... I don't remember with anyone before him because, well, that's just too long ago!
     
  8. mamaboogie

    mamaboogie anarchist

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    My husband (then boyfriend) waited 18 months to say the dreaded "L" word. That's how I knew he really meant it when he did finally say it, but it tore me up something awful the first time I said it to him, knowing good and well that he did love me, and he didn't say it back to me. Come November we will have been together 14 years, married for the last eight.

    I've known too many men who will say anything to get in a girl's pants. You can tell when they are insincere, usually. I wouldn't trust anyone who says they love me when they haven't known me very long. How can anyone love someone they don't really know yet? And the dudes who say it all the time, it always felt to me like they were trying to convince themselves it was true, when it really wasn't. The word kinda loses its meaning when it's thrown around flippantly and is spoken too often.
     
  9. Deacon_Vata

    Deacon_Vata Member

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    Depends on many factors. I've waited anything from weeks to nearly a year for the right moment. Recently I told someone I love her and we're not even in a relationship - I didn't know how to approach her and decided the best thing to do was tell her exactly how I feel rather than put her under any pressure by asking her to respond to what I want. Can't say it worked all that well - she told me straight out that she isn't into me at all (which might have been ok only then she ruined it by saying she never would be, and I'm big on 'never say never') but has been otherwise very understanding about the whole thing. Overall, I think it was worth it for both of us. I see her every day, and at least we each know where we stand now.
     
  10. wizarddrew77

    wizarddrew77 The Wiz

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    I love you is the easy part-it's the I am IN LOVE WITH YOU that take's more time and thought.
    Also-that depends on what the last person you said that to did with it too.
     
  11. moon_flower

    moon_flower Banned

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    How very true. Though he said he loves me after 6 months, it took my boyfriend until just the other day (We've been together almost 9 months now) to say I'm IN love with you.
    It shows sincerity when he doesn't say it after the first month or so just because it's what everyone else does.
    We also don't say 'I love you' all the time. Just occasionally. We're more into showing each other....and I like it that way. :)
     
  12. A.B.E.

    A.B.E. Member

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    :) Love is a verb, not a noun. When I read the thread that is what I thought immediately. Love isn't something you talk about, it is something you do. My partner of 29 years rarely says " I Love You ", but his actions remind me daily that I am loved. Someone is loving you when you feel relaxed and open around them. Someone is loving you when you trust they are interested in your well being, not just theirs. This can happen on a first date, or after many years. It seems that the " L Word " has got a bad name for many reasons. One thing is that by wanting and needing and asking to hear someone say it, is almost like suggesting that you can't tell allready that they are loving you. If they feel this ,then they might become offended, or hurt, or taken for granted because they thought they were loving you so good, and you obviously hadn't noticed, and misunderstandings prevail. Also, we are all so insecure about love and relationships, and communications are so fragile,(emotional and judgemental) .How long does it take to say I love you, is more like how long does it take to feel you are loved., and be vulnerable enough to open to it, and let someone love you. We are all self conscious around someone until we are not, and then there is LOVE.!!!!!!!!!!! Love is an action and needs to be renewed in each moment. So, when you feel love you can let it be, and let actions speak louder than words. Peace and Love
     
  13. Carlfloydfan

    Carlfloydfan Travel lover

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    depends on how you view love. I love a lot of people. some people reserve it for very rare occurances however. WA is right..saying "I am in love with you" is the biggie. I have to disagree with some of you, there is no right or wrong timeframe for saying I love you or am in love with you. sometimes 4 weeks is more right than 15 years...it depends on the people involved and experiences shared. its kind of dumb to think there is a proper time frame and to disregard feelings if it is to "soon"....which is a vauge word anyways. everyone has a different description of the words "to soon".
     
  14. soaringeagle

    soaringeagle Senior Member

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    damn well said
    and i'd like to add i say it when ifeel it & i feel it quite often theres many people i love for many many reasons and if i make that connection with someone i let them know it
    i'm in love with you however, thats a much deeper love & takes more time, but has no timeframe either
    but i've never been one to feel its something scary to say
    if i feel im in love with someone i let them know..i dont hold in those feelings for months & months without expressing them..
    sure its easy to doubt words if actions dont backthem up
    but its just as easy to misenterperate actions when the words are absent

    take a hypothetical example of some materialistivc chick.. her guy constantly buys her gifts & she feels his actions demonstrate he loves her

    but ofcourse he never says he does

    2 years into theyre relationship she finds out hes married & the gifts were more out of a sence of guilt not love

    ofcourse the opposites true too, a guy can say i love you then add so shut your mouth bytch & get me my dinner

    it doesnt matter when someone says they love you..or doesnjt say it..what matters is when you KNOW you are loved
     
  15. misterrain

    misterrain Banned

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    There's this song by the Monkees called 'I wanna be free', where the inscrutable Davey Jones tells some random girl 'don't say you love me say you like me'.

    I agree with everyone who says show them don't tell them. I mean, you really shouldn't have to tell someone you love them... and you shouldn't have to ask either.

    I don't tell anyone I love them ever. It all goes so much better if you substitute 'like' for 'love' at all times... it places fewer demands on everyone involved, and the feeling between you gets the meaning across.
     
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