How much do you fart?

Really, I wanna know. If you don't keep a detailed daily fart log, just give me a round about estimate how many times you fart on an average day. For me, I'd say 10-15, more if I eat chili or a lot of lentil soup or something.

The inspiration for this inquiry comes from the Mythbusters episode "Facts About Flatulence" where they tested their rate of flatus based on what they ate that day. My problem is Kari's control number of 3 farts per day. Bullshit. Any chick (or guy for that matter) that claims she only farts 3 times a day is a lying liar who is lying directly out of her lie-hole. Even when she drank soda all day, it supposedly only went up to 6. Bah!

Let's discuss.

 

i fart loudly roughly every twenty seconds or so, or at least it seems this way.

 

Now that's the kind of numbers I'm looking for. Do you find it has a significant impact (positive or negative) on your social life?

 

people just expect it now, so it's like a free ticket almost. i'm ok with this.

 

Maybe you can use it for good and harness the power to create an alternative/renewable energy source.

 

It depends what I eat. Somedays I don't fart a lot, some I do. What's more important to me is the noise. Sometimes, generally in the evening, I do something resembling a Harley Davidson firing up and getting into gear. Probably lasts at least 10 seconds. My dog's the best though - she does this loud single note thing that makes her jump up from sleeping and look at the ground as if to say "where the fuck did that come from?"

 

heh, button moon had it right all along

hence the baked bean can spaceship.

 

Hahahaaaa, I get the motor-butt sometimes too. Feels like they come all the way from your lungs or something. I wish my cats' farts made a funny sound, but I just get assaulted in the face by the foulest silent assailant when they are relaxing in my lap...

 

Yeah, she smells too! We always know when she's farted silently because she gets up and leaves the room and we're left with the fall out!

 

I finally understand your avatar SweetBlasphemy!

 

LOL I didn't even make that connection, right on. I always thought of it as a bong-cat but that works too!

 

My cat farts like a pro...and he actually lifts his tail to emit these foul air bombs. Sometimes he even scares himself with his farts and he runs away. The best is when he burped in my face the other night, then went to jump off of me and farted right in my face.

As for me, I fart roses

 

I'm sure you do darling

 

Clockwork "steam" kittens, the lot of you!

 

If I could have a super power it wouldn't be to fly or to read minds, I would just want to have an alternating catalog of fresh scents for my farts. Yankee Candle in my butt. *plllrrrbbfffft* Mmm, fresh baked chocolate chip cookies... clean linen... coconut cabana...

 

The good thing about being a smoker is lighting up a cigarette right after I fart to cover up the stink

 

Some days, I'm a constant gas machine. Other days, maybe 2-3 farts.

I'd like to get on this guy's level though:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TYMuhN7OZgM"]YouTube - Farting Preacher 1

 

I wonder if that preacher saves his farts all day long just to let out all in one big melodic tune during the show...

 

lol they sounded kinda weak though. You can do better

 

Depends on whether or not I've had my morning breakfast burrito or not.
Seriously, though, for me there's hardly ever an in-between. It's either nothing all day, or I could fuel a small third world country with it. It's kind of ridiculous.