how to tell if he's just that into you or not

Hypothetical situation, say you have this friend of the opposite sex. Say there has always been this chemistry there and you have a huge crush on him but he's had the same girlfriend as long as you've known him. Imagine their relationship is getting really rocky and this person is obviously unhappy in their relationship . What are some signs that this person might be as interested in you as you are in him?

I feel really silly and middle school making this post lol, but I think I'm really falling for this friend of mine. He's a really outgoing and gregarious guy so sometimes I'm not sure if he's being flirty or if its just his personality.

I can usually tell if a guy I've just met is interested in me, but when it comes to someone I am good friends with my cautious side wants to tell me to be wary that he's not just being really friendly. some instinct is telling me that he feels the same jolt of electricity as I do whenever we make eye contact or brush our arms against each other but who knows.

I know that last sentence sounded really cheesy lol.

what do you guys think are some signs I should be looking out for to tell me that he has just as big of a crush on me as I do on him?

He's always throwing stuff at me...in the grand tradition of kindergarten flirting. Anytime we sit by each other and our arms or legs touch each other neither of us moves. It feels like the most natural thing in the world. We always make eye contact and hold it for long seconds at a time...he's a musician and he just wrote this new song; half of it talks about a person in his life that is causing negative emotions,and then he starts talking about this other person that's "pierced his eyes"...it kind of made me go, "hmmm!" because thats the only way i can describe what its like when we make eye contact..its like our eyes pierce through each other.

But maybe I'm just making too much of it all. Opinions?

please forgive me for the fact that I sound like I'm in 8th grade lol. I haven't liked someone this much in a very, very long time. Its driving me slightly crazy.

 

if i were in your situation, i'd have to say i'd wait it out a bit. see if he makes a move or something - it sounds like you wouldn't want to be the one to put your friendship in a weird position

in another light, he seems like he might be a kind of guy that would be totally flattered that you are into him and might just take it in stride, not return the feeling, but still wants you to be around. that is, if you make the move.

either of those situations would strengthen your relation/friendship

or he could be freaked out and never talk to you again - i don't know the dynamics though and you probably could distinguish that easily.

 

The little unspoken things like how eye contact and arm brushing feels. I feel like when you know, you know -- and even if you're thoughts, hopes, worries cloud your views, moments of clarity are gonna pop out.

Like I've mentioned before, I'd stay away until the relationship is out of the way, or if he moves in, take the high road. That thing could sabotage your relationship big time.

And I think you sound less immature than you think, and mostly just cute and excited and I'm too sleepy to think of the word I really mean.

 

wwalk with him...and see if he tries to hold your hand

 

thats what I plan to do. I wouldn't want to do anything while he's in a relationship and I feel like once the relationship ends I'll find out pretty quickly either way how he feels about me. I just feel like I need to nip my feelings in the bud (if thats even possible) if there's no chance with us, but I guess I can't figure that out without waiting it out.

thanks I like to think that when you know, you know too. Its always been the little things with us and at this point there are too many little things to ignore anymore, I cant help feeling hopeful. I definitely wouldn't want to mess with anything while he's in a relationship though; if and when we start something I want it to be started on a clean slate without excess drama from his current girlfriend. Its just a pain in the ass waiting this out. They fight all the time but it just seems like one of those relationships where its comfortable and familiar so its hard to leave even though neither person is making each other happy anymore.

Im also almost 100% positive that she's cheated on him several times with this other guy I know. Shit like that killlls me...I think he's one of the best guys I've ever known and it just seems like if she can't appreciate it she should stop wasting his time.

lol i kind of tried this the other day...we were walking side by side and our arms brushed up against each other but after that happened i think we both started feeling awkward and started walking different paces.

 

he's not that into you then..different pace is not good

 

jump on him and shove your tongue down his throat, it will A) be good both ways or B) be a little awkward, but if he is a true friend he will stay that way but be a little freaked for a while

 

......................:hide:



Cheers Glen.

 

I would just set him down and tell him you have feelings for him. What can he say? 'I don't feel that way about you?' Then you know and can move on.

 

Once there is hand-on-ass contact, you'll know he's into you.

But yeah, don't even think about him in that light if he is still in a relationship...its just not right

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UuG_fTwoUoU"]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UuG_fTwoUoU



Just let things happen as they do. If it feels natural then let it be natural. These situations are always so exciting. You never know what's going to happen every time you see eachother haha. I hope it works out for you! Although I'm sure it will though judging by the way you described it

 

i'd say the first sign would be if he breaks up with his girlfriend...

if he stays with her, it's either because he wants to be with her or because he's one of those pathetic people who can't be alone.

or C) he chokes to death on tongue.

 

I don't think it's not right necessarily -- but it's definitely not the smartest thing you can feel =P

 

Wait until he ends his relationship, then wait some more so that he can get over his ex. I assume you don't want to be a rebound. If he really likes you, he'll still want to be with you after a month or two.

 

you're 15 ....... how many of "these situations" have you had?

yeah, gotta wait till teh current relationship ends i'm afraid ..... or things are liable to get messy, and not in the fun way

 

I don't think its neccessarily wrong. People can't help the way they feel. He's a good friend of mine and our personalities just click. That combined with the fact that i'm ridiculously physically attracted to him just makes it kind of hard to ignore my feelings.

Thanks for the input guys, I think i'm gonna try to stop thinking about it until he's out of this relationship. Its probably not very healthy to pine after someone thats involved with someone else.

 

Good plan darling. In the meantime.......

j/k

 

You can't ignore your feelings but you can choose not to act on them...

 

I agree. I've asked my best friend out twice, and the second time was practically a marriage proposal. At the time she was in a relationship but, like in your friend's case, there were some problems. As much as I wanted to wish them all the best with their relationship, I also knew she was stressed out.

I also had some personal issues I needed to work out and, to be frank, it would have helped me out if she and I started a relationship. But I tried my best to keep my problems separate from how I felt toward my best friend. The only thing I knew was that I couldn't just sit there and not act. So I acted, and got turned down for the second time, lol. But it's ok, whatever happened happened for the best. She DID break up with the guy shortly afterward, and eventually met a good man and married him last year. I'm happy for her, plus, she and I are still best friends.

I hope your situation all works out!

 

You mean, should we leave someone if they no longer love us, or stay with them and continue to love them?

I think it all depends on each relationship. Some relationships don't work out not because either party did something wrong, but simply because of their differences as people. That, however, doesn't mean they can't continue to love each other if they remain friends after the breakup. If they still respect and value each other's opinions, their views on life, and if they still enjoy each other's company but just not as lovers, then friendly love may still remain between them.

My best friend and I never actually were in a relationship. We DO love each other, though, just not as lovers. I also have another friend I love dearly. I had a really intense crush on her about a year and a half ago, and I think she knew how I felt. Nothing happened because neither pursued anything. But we're still friends and our friendship is beautiful. We love each other but, once again, not as lovers.

Each case is different, though. Unfortunately I can't say I still love some of my exes. But I generally have no ill feelings for any of my exes. I may wonder why some of them dumped me, but I try not to dwell on mysteries I can't quite solve. Instead I wish them all well. With that said, I'm sure I could love some of them again, if only as friends, should they allow themselves to let that happen between us.