For some reason I’m basically exclusively attracted to people who I know don’t have my best interests at heart, and who are toxic. Idk how to fix this, I just get such an adrenaline rush from like relationships with”bad” people it’s always very exciting
I've been around a long time, and so many times seen someone be nice to people and then they treat you like shit. And no one deserves that.
honestly I’m not a great person myself, but it’s like I’m attracted to like really bad people because I just find nice people too “boring” idk if that makes sense
Hey, I know I’ve been mentioned and let me explain. I’ve said this in the past, but I don’t actually have “relationships” with guys, I just basically use them for physical pleasure and they use me! I find that the guys that will dish it out in a group setting are not always the typical “nice” guys. They tend not to hold back and that’s what gets me off. Some people feel I am degrading myself when I do this, but that’s what I like and it’s consensual.
Oh ok that makes sense, I feel like I somewhat have something similar but like it’s basically self harm, one of the dudes I was with blackmailed me (consensually) but then I wanted him to stop and he wouldn’t, so like idk it usually starts consensually but then my boundaries end up being trampled
So basically if you are being blackmailed and if he broke boundaries and wouldn’t stop, it doesn’t sound consensual to me!
Not sure how anything you say is technically consensual? I potentially experience the same level of intensity, but I set very few boundaries and have never uttered a safe word, begged to stop or tried to tap out, so in my country…that is consensual. I will message you.
Acknowledging and knowing is your first step You say you don’t know how to fix it. That makes it look like it would make sense to get some professional help and be very open so you can get the best help you can. Here is a real life story There used to be an attractive woman in a previous workplace. Being attractive could be irrelevant, but you will understand in a moment. She made very bad choices with men, and it led her into drugs and excessive drinking. Because she didn’t set personal boundaries and she used poor judgment. Fast forward to three years later, I am back in that same workplace and OH MY GOD She was still a fairly young woman, but she looked much older, and it was obvious she didn’t take good care of herself, and once she saw the light it was too late. The nice man who had chased her for a good while before wanted nothing to do with her because of her drug and alcohol problems. it may not relate to you the same way, but it’s a cautionary tale.
hopefully I’m going to be dead before that becomes a problem, but yeah maybe being more honest with my therapist would be good
You owe it to yourself as it’s the only way something can improve. Not necessarily immediately but stick with it.
