I am SO sick of my MIL!!! (vent)

Of course not, I am complaining about her already been given $2500 from us to stay with her until March and then her now wanting $50 a week on top of that. If she had asked for $50 or even $100 pw in the first place I would have been more than happy. It's the asking for more on top of the amount she already has that has me in disbelief.

I thought that was apparent???

 

It's Vanilla Gorilla. He reads posts, then goes through his registers of clichés and apply them onto the post so it fits his witty remarks :2thumbsup:

 

i hear the rent is cheaper up north

 

Only if you are willing to work REALLY hard! :devil:

 

And you have to take shit from another kind of 'stepdad'

 

I'm sure you love your bf and all but I would have to ask how the future is going to be regardless of how this works out. So maybe you end up paying the $50/week until March. Fine. But what is going to happen in July or August or whenever the next time comes up that she wants you guys to buy her something? Is he going to be able to say no once you guys are on your own or is he going roll over every time she needs $1500 for something?

 

You're engaged right? I personally would think long and hard about marrying into that kind of family. That sounds like hell to deal with long term, I just wouldn't do it. And excommunication is just another headache.

I had a girlfriend who had a mother like that. We were both struggling financially at that time and it was like anytime she would come up, her mom would want it or want a cut. It put a huge strain on the relationship.

You also have to be careful he won't act the same way toward your kids if you are planning to have kids with him.

 

Not really in his case if it includes food, board and food for both of them, $200 sounds about right.

Plus by th sounds of it she spent a fair bit putting her son thru uni, hasnt seen any of that back, and hes back living with her, i could see the mums side of it.

But heres where i go VG again, ill also point out its likely he unded up with a chic like his mum, tje mil and her are too much alike and thats the real reason they hate each other

 

Me too, but on the other hand it seems unfair and culturally typical to not say it out of shame (while it sounds really like a big financial problem) and yet expect him (and his fiancee, who I would think has even less to do with it) to pay it all up when he returns, without questions, respecting all decisions. And hey, they already payed for expenses. I'm not sure how much 200 dollar is worth there, so I have no idea what sounds right

:biggrin:

 

+1 rep.

I actually really want to visit there - but would you believe how expensive it is to do it?!

 

Where has this $200 come from?!

Two thousand five hundred dollars is already hers. I will be leaving actually late next month for Japan to pick up my work visa and when I return I will have my own apartment from work.

I am NOT begrudging giving the family money for staying with them. I wanted to give them weekly money in the first place, it was requested to give them a lump sum instead which we did, then she wanted more as I previously posted, and has then randomly decided yes she wants a weekly amount of top of that.

Whoops I also forgot to point out she also left my boyfriend with nothing in his final year of uni and said 'sorry your on your own' and he was lucky to get a scholarship, find a job and get help from me for his final year of uni.

VG - I wish I had your income to not think $2500 was a lot of money, and that $50 on top of that every week is fine. Sadly I don't. I saved really, really hard for it and for her to take so much, then talk smack about me behind my back, pick faults with everything I do, demean my boyfriend and then demand more and more money is NOT ok with me.

If you send me your bank account details I'll get her to debit you from now on, seeing as you think it's not a problem.

 

Yeah, it worries me because I have heard so many nightmare stories about Korean MIL.

Bascially my partner and I have a dream of winning lotto, giving it all to her and saying 'OK, now f**k off'

 

It cost an arm and a leg

.....three fingers and an ear

 

Just saying, overpriced, but half of it i can understand. She might just be doing it so you both dont stay that long, 3 months turns into 3 years.

As for the demeaning thing, well, they are all like that

 

Give it all to her, wtf? Your boyfriend needs to sack up and tell her to shut up and go cook some rice, or dog or whatever they do over there.

The only problem is you are both dependent on her right now, so for the time being you are going to have to put up with it. Until you get on your own again. I'd recommend paying the $50 until you get your visa, then really think about if you want to marry into that. If it's culturally normal for grown men to be dominated by their mothers, that sounds like a dysfunctional shit show.

 

It seems when we don't know a lot about a different culture/society it can quickly seem like a dysfunctional shit show anyway (I'm thinking for example about images of their city traffic)

 

i wouldnt give them one cent

if you havent seen the doc Kimjongillia....check it out some day



http://www.imdb.com/video/withoutabox/vi2530411033

 

so someone comes on here, to bitch behind their back, about someone bitching behind their back about them. drama lama is boring.

 

Yeah I've seen it, and I agree it's a hard choice to make - knowing the tourist money goes to that filthy pig and his cronies.

But I am so fascinated by North Korea. I am actually so interested in the communist and ex-communist countries. One of the reasons I loved living in China, and why I can't wait to visit Russia, too.

But back on topic - deviate, I wish he could do that. But they just operate in a totally different way over here, because they still follow Confucian values of fealty to the family about all else, respecting your elders etc. It's frustrating, but I know it's never going to change.

VG - I think she's probably a bit pissed because her own mother-in-law would have been super mean to her and she has been waiting for so long for her own DIL to bully, then she got a Western one and it's not the same hahahahahaha.