I broke through

This weekend I took 5 hits and my friend took 2. This was the same stuff that I posted earlier "destroyed my universe" at 2.

What can I say . . . everything has changed, yet in a way nothing has. It really was like that scene in the matrix when neo suddenly wakes up to find himself encased in a cocoon, naked. He was still Neo, and he was still in the same body he thought he had always been in, and so forth, yet everything was different. I "woke up" in a very permanent way. I had to learn how to eat again. I had to learn what food was again. I had to learn how to defecate and urinate. I had to learn how to speak. I had to learn how to think about things around me, like "Open the door". I had to learn how to interact and transmit and receive information. I had to learn how to see, hear, taste, touch, and smell again.

Something important I wanted to share with the drug community:

When we take drugs, we go to a show. We have The Marijuana Show, The Alcohol Show, The Ecstasy Show, etc.

I will use marijuana and alcohol as examples:

When we go to The Marijuana Show, we buy our ticket, go to the theatre, and sit down. The curtain rises, and we watch our world through this filter for a few hours. The filter makes us feel the various pharmacological effects of marijuana, sedation (or energy), slight dissociation, heaviness, intense sensory effects, deeper thoughts, hapiness, etc.

When we go to The Alcohol Show, we buy our ticket, go to the theatre, and sit down. The curtain rises, and we watch our world through this filter for a few hours. The filter makes us feel the various pharmacological effects of alcohol, energy at first, then sedation, dizziness, difficulty walking, disinhibition, hapiness (or sadness), etc

At low doses, LSD is a show too. We go to the theatre and sit down. The curtain rises, and our world is seen with intense colors, fractals, hapiness, deep understanding, etc.

This theme is broken at high doses.

At high doses, there is no LSD show. You don't know that of course. You prepare yourself for a good time. You buy your ticket, go over to your seat, and sit down. The curtain rises, and-

Here is where language fails me. It is not simply that the show is so stupendously strange that I can't describe it; there ceases to be a show. About 4 hours after the curtain rises and your world becomes increasingly different, you suddenly realise that you are not in a theatre, watching a show. You are here. Now. This is not a show. In fact, your life before taking this was the greatest and longest show of all.

See, we live life through filters. A filter can be a drug, like marijuana. Like alcohol. Like psilocybin. A filter can be a philosophy, like Kantism. A filter can be a religion, like catholicism. A filter can be a chemical process in your brain, like depression, or mania, or schizophrenia. A filter can be . . . you get the point. A filter literally filters the infinite flux of Reality (big R) into some tangible reality (small r).

LSD destroys all filters. I didn't know this because it obviously has a threshhold effect under which it only destroys some filters. If you keep increasing dosage, more and more filters are washed away until you suddenly find that not only are you not in a theatre, but you are not watching the show that was your sober life anymore. Even your sober-life-filter is washed away, the one that limits sense data, emotion, thought, and everything that makes you you.

As an example, I never knew that when I ate, eating, every aspect of it, was incredibly filtered from me. I literally had to relearn how to eat because I had never done it before without filters. Filters are what stops you from eating your fingers after you ate a chicken wing. Filters are what stops you from chewing on a wall instead of on processable food. I lost this. This may sound horrible, like "omg I can't eat omg omg omg", but it's quite the opposite. Rather I thought "What the HELL have I been DOING all this time?! I wasn't eating, that's for sure!".

I was incredibly and deeply deconstructed. During the peak of peaks, maybe 1-3 hours, I had total ego loss.

I cannt imagine what 10 hits, or a sheet, or a thumbprint is like. Extrapolating from my previous small doses, and saturdays moderate dose, I can guess. On small doses, small parts of you are deconstructed. Sense data, emotions. On moderate doses, moderate parts of you are deconstructed. Sense data, emotions, actions, communication, subjectivity/ego/self. On large doses, large parts of you are deconstructed. Sense data, emotions, actions, communication, self, learning, being, living.

The scary part of acid, which I experienced, is this. First let me just say that saturday was the best day of my life. It was the best day of my life to the extent that I didn't know such days were possible. To say it was like getting an infinite number of infinitely good blowjobs is comletely missing the mark by a factor of the infinity of infinities. It is simply beyond the realm of pleasure. It is enlightenment. It is realizing that you can have anything you want, at anytime, anywhere. All this while I was the monkey grasping at the moon's reflection in the water, and saturday I fell into the water, the moon shattered as the illusion it was, and I realized that here I am, a monkey, and the moon is right there, above me.

With that in mind, I understood 100% how people freak out on acid, become permanently psychotic, and even jump out of windows. I understand now. I could have jumped out of the window if I wanted to. Nothing was holding me back. The filter that processed Death and Suicide and Consequence was washed away. With that gone, jumping off a balcony comes as naturally as taking a shit. The monkey simply leaps. I understood the death drive, it is simply the flipside of the life drive.

I also understood psychosis. See, when these filters are washed away, they aren't simply "forgotten". You can still access them consciously through choice, and apply them. In fact, they lie shattered and mixed about around the feet of the mind. This is where people can lose it. If you want to return, you have to rebuild them. This is an absolutely daunting task. Why? Because so many of the filters you pick up are obviously hurtful to you. Here is where the choice comes; do you take back filter X?

You can take a large dose of acid and come back unchanged. You can. It's a choice. When you come back, if you want, you can reassemble your filters exactly as they were. This is an option. You will probably not, however. Simply because even the dumb monkey can taste poison in the berry. Some filters that you have had your whole life, that are as much a part of you as your genitals and your throat and your music tastes and your typing style and your opinion of seafood, you suddenly realise have been shackling you to the trough in ways you suddenly realise you are not happy with.

It's as though your whole life, you were a horse with it's head buried in the trough of life, and acid comes along, grabs you by the teeth, jerks your head up, and shows you the meadow you have neglected to run through until your legs ache and your lungs burn and your eyes water and you have never felt this ALIVE.

This is what happened. I hope this happens to every person on earth. This is what being alive is. I will never, ever be the same, but this monkey can still work and go to school and masturbate and drink red bull. Because now I see things As They Are.

The mountains are mountains again.

 

Even though the Bible leaves a bad taste, I feel that this is what the quote in my sig is about. To know death is the only way to know life.
God bless and congratulations. :cheers2:
The garden of eden was founded on ignorance. Not many of us get to go to the peak of the mountain lol
"camera, zoom back" this is maya

 

Nice post. It sounds like you had a very worthwhile trip.

 

Yeah, good posting that made for a very interesting read.

 

no offense, but you need to take acid to realize that?

on the bright side, your post was enjoyable and it sounds like you had a phenominal trip. your bring up some very interesting ideas.

for me personally, my tripping days have come to an end. it was fun while it lasted, but i've already suffered for my choices in indulging in psychedelics. i don't wish to further agitate them, as my mental health wasn't good even before i touched any sort of drugs.

i am glad that you felt you had the best day of your life. now, do you think you could top that sober?

knowledge is nothing if it doesn't produce any goods.

 

And what if I did?

I don't know, I'm new at this living thing now . I would also like to say that saturday was the most sober I've ever been. Filterless.

Goods are also nothing .

I completely understand that quote now. I like it.

That's exactly it!

 

i beg to differ. when i say goods, i'm not referring to just tangible things, but a plethora of things; goods can be results.

 

Results are things

what things come from water flowing? the water flows

what things come from a fire? it burns

what things come from me knowing? I know

the monkey doesn't chase the moon to hold it, anymore

 

sounds like you had a very good trip. sounds alot like my second trip. funny that you should compare it to the matrix. for a long time i told people that having a real acid trip for the first time is like waking up from the matrix.

infact the matrix isn't just a great movie, it also demonstrates alot of archetypes about human life. watch it more closely.

"Morever, the experiment imposes limiting conditions on nature, for its aim is to force her to give answers to questions devised by man. Every answer by nature is therefore more or less influenced by the kind of question asked, and the result is always a hybrid product. The so-called "scientific view of the world" based on this can hardly be anything more than a psychologically biased partial view which misses out all those by no means unimportant aspects that cannot be grasped statistically." - Carl Jung Synchonicity

 

I have to basically rewatch every movie, reread every book, relisten to every piece of music. I learned Tool. I learned Fight Club. I learned Ren And Stimpy. It's amazing.

All Hallows, heres a better way to express what I'm trying to drive at:

It's ok to make change.

It's ok to not make change.

Everything is ok.

All is permitted

 

great stuff writer.

the concepts that come to us on acid like a bolt of lightning are common ideas, but when you are a naked soul, face to face with that concept, embodied in it...it's like what you said about waking up. I know what blue is anytime, but I can know what blue is on infinitely deeper levels. I can try to express the profundity of blue to others and they will say "yeah so what we already know about blue," but you know they don't understand what you mean by blue and perhaps never will. We have no idea just how true some things are, even if we have no doubt that they're true.

 

I know you know You phrased it absolutely perfectly. I feel like now before starting any conversation with strangers I have to ask "Ever done LSD?" haha. In fact among the many things I am still adjusting to in my sober life, one of those things is the realization that even the most simple concepts like "blue" or "meat" or "urine" or "tired" or "car" have changed dramatically, and that now when my best friend or teacher or sister or father say any of those, they are speaking about something that I discarded. We can still talk about it usefully, but in an ultimate, metaphysical, and yet realer-than-anything-else sense, we are not discussing the same thing. This takes some adjusting. I feel closer to wild animals now than I do to the people around me.

 

haha. I prefer the company of trees over most people

 

Did it alter your opinion on God at all Writer? Or was it purely an awareness trip, which brought no feeling of higher presence?

 

damn i should have posted this in my first post, just thought of it :

Welcome, Mr. Writer, to the real world.

:biggrin:

 

Worlds man, haha.
First there is a world. Then there are worlds. Then, there is a world again.
So yea, disregard the first sentence. In fact, disregard this whole post

 

That's amazing Writer

I hope I can have such a trip.

Not any time too soon though, I have limited experience with psychedelics and would like to know the realm a bit better.

 

this is one of the most amazing trips i've ever read about.

i've personally never done acid (or shrooms), because i know that i would be pretty much scared shitless to take them, and because i know i wouldn't be able to deal with something that could be so life changing.

but this sort of changed my mind a little bit, was something i could sort of understand and relate too, and also was very, very beautifully written.

 

Totally agree on everything you just said lol.

Except I've had shrooms once, and that's the only psychedelic i've done. I had that same mindset before i tried them, i always thought that it was a matter of being able to handle the trip, but i realized that the trip was handling itself. it was the most natural, friendly, inviting feeling EVER. it honestly feels like the trip's been there your whole life. it was perfect

thanks to set/setting of course.

So i'm anxious to try acid. One day i'll seek a trip like Writer's

 

Excellent post and descriptive words, especially how you relate the drug experiences to "shows", because more or less, we don't know what to FULLY expect, we just take the drugs and think we will see or experience some cool stuff, meanwhile an LSD break through is more like life explained in an instant whirlwind of thought to what was always there to begin with. Welcome to the other side..

Peace

P.S. This is why LSD strikes home to me SO much. No other typical street drugs work in this fashion. You can go buy heroin, or coke, or smoke a ton of pot, but never will you ever experience something like a breakthrough LSD trip, you learn so much about yourself, your life, everything that it becomes very intense, you lose it all, and gain it all back with much more insight to what really matters, such an important factor to life that most never even get a glimpse of til death.

I don't post a lot of my heavy LSD trip reports on here, but I have a few, and one of the most relative things I've experienced is being HUMAN again. It's simply the most important part of the trip, the come-down, or realizing the true reality for what it is and how I work to be apart of it.

This is where most LSD users may find themselves lost or "crazy" when really they just don't know how to embrace such a beautiful thing. I'm glad you were able to post this story and allow many users here to realize there is MUCH more to what you see, and MUCH more to the LSD trip than some visuals and chilling to music with your friends. Of course, that is, if you care to wonder down the hole that far to find out

Again, peace and love.