I don't understand!!

Ok so I have this friend (not sure if we are anymore) who was breaking up with her boyfriend. She was thinking about getting back together with an ex boyfriend who I had set her up with about 3 years ago. So I was helping her try to "leave" him, well she decided yesterday (the day she was supposed to be moving in, cause he found out and "kicked" her out) that she wasn't gonna be leaving him.

Now, because I'm the one who tried to help her out by giving her a place to stay and by letting her use my phone to call her ex. Her boyfriend is somehow blaming me and now she doesn't want to hang out anymore, because she decided to stay with him. I'm so pissed off, all I did was try to be there for a friend and now her boyfriend is blaming me for her wanting to leave him. Its not my fault that I tried to be there for a friend, whose boyfriend completely controls her life and who has hit her before. I don't get how she can choose his side and tell me that now that she decided to stay that we can't be friends anymore. I think thats complete bull and I'm so angry. I just offered help and now I'm losing a friend for it.

Do I have the right to be angry or am I being unfair?

 

fuck her. she's not a real friend

 

the troll is wise...

 

Hey I'm female and I try to keep out of as much drama as possible. I actually aviod alot of it.

 

A real friend wouldn't treat you like that, Sop. Be glad you found out now instead of in two years or so. I'd say dump the bitch.

 

don't listen to seafort, he's

a) a virgin
b) a racist SOB
c) likely just a troll and neither of the above, which is really even more pathetic


no reason to even slightly consider what he has to say on the matter.

i'd say she's likely being manipulated by her BF. not your fault, but not something you have to be happy with, either. but her being a bitch right now doesn't mean you'll never be friends again, so carry on for now without her as a friend. if she comes to her senses later, good. if not, who needs her?

 

Your friend is a loser. Drop her before she further frustrates you and infects your life.

 

Shouldn't have got involved in their relationship dear. It never pays off.

 

If she agrees with her bf then I'd just leave her to it. If she is too blind to see a fried helped her and her bf is apparently a douche then I think she is responsible for whatever happens next. She will hopefully realise what she is doing and what a mess she has made. If she does realise this, she will hopefully come back to you and thank you as a friend. ^^

Well thats how I'd see it anyway lol.

 

if she wants to stay with a guy who hits her then she's made her own bed there. id dump her as a friend myself.

 

I'm just pissed, cause its not only me who got stabbed in the back. Its my friend who is like a brother to me. He had his hopes up high that she was gonna get back together with him. I think if she is gonna be like that she doesn't really deserve him in her life. I mean she cheated on him twice and he still wanted to be with her.

I'm just done with being her friend, I'm sure her boyfriend is controling her like a puppet. If she wants to be a puppet, then I'll let him keep his hand up her ass. She'll realise it someday and it will be to late. I don't need this drama in my life, I got enough things to deal with. I'm actually kind of relieved that I don't have to deal with her bs anymore. I know that sounds terrible, but I already have an ulcer from stressing to much. I'm trying to keep the drama out of my life, so that doesn't get worse.

 

What lesson can be learned here?

 

You have a right to be angry. Your friend is a pussy and she hates herself.

This is a classic scenario. You're better off finding a single friend or somebody in a secure relationship.

 

I have a feeling from the OP that she is used to giving more than receiving in relationships. True or false?

Maybe this case was an exception...

 

Do you mean in friendship relationships or partner relationships?

Yeah I do tend to give more in a relationship then recieve. I'm working being more selfish. With this friend it was pretty much equal until now. I'm use to being a person who likes to help their friends/partner out when they need it. I'm realising that it gets me taken advantage of and I'm sick of it. I try to be a good person and to help as much as I can. I'm at the point where I'm realising I really need to help myself more then others. It makes me feel terrible, but I really need to focus on me. I'm just not sure how yet. If anyone has any advice on this I'd appreciate that alot.

 

sounds like he has the problem here then...

 

In the immortal words of Limp Bizkit "I did it all for the nookie"

 

It depends.

are you telling us the whole story?

Do you even know the whole story?

 

You will be happy to know I just had an argument with my girlfriend because she thinks she knows so much more about others than they know about themselves.

I put effort into not making assumptions about her, and if she can't do the same for me it's her loss. I really don't have time for Nazi girlfriends who think they are better than everyone else, etc etc.

 

This sums up my relationship with hipforums right now

 

My gff's starting to sound like DaveTechie now. I.e., "most people are sheep"; "most people are this that", etc etc.

Gah! I don't know if I can date someone like that for long.

To use the words of Bill Murray (on Cubs fans booing Cubs players), "Boo yourself."