I feel lonely all the time. I wish I had friends.

I'm 24 years old and I want more friends. I have a very small circle which consists of 3 guys and my fiancee. Two of them live in another city and the other is getting his master's so he is always busy. I'm a very social person, but I have found it extremely hard to have friends in real life that think alike. I live in a small town where the young culture is almost like a hivemind. They all like the same things that are often toxic - they like acting like teenagers focused on drama, act really immature, and focused on party life and very materialistic. I can't have a conversation or close relationship to people who seemingly give into this culture of being problematic. I can't talk about nature, show them my stuffed animals, talk about my love for naturism, and express my views because I've already been labeled a "tree hugger" like it's a bad thing when I told my cousin to try to conserve water. I'm originally from Dallas, TX where I learned some of these beautiful mindset from my elders (teachers had a huge impact on my life and these were people in their 50s-60s when I was only like 10) phenomenal people.

I just feel so lonely because I want to be able to have such a sweet connection with others, but it's something I can't seem to reach. I'd like some advice kind people. I feel like I can only get along with children and older folks but people my age it's so hard for me. Should I just pack up and move to Austin, TX ? Would I have better luck there?

 

It's been my experience that my tribe isn't going to come knocking on my door; I have to seek them out, and knock on theirs. Get out there. Take some classes. Attend some events; music, art, equinox bonfires, Pride picnics, poetry readings, hikes. I live in a very conservative rural small town, yet still find kindred spirits. A big metropolitan area like Dallas is bound to be more diverse with more opportunities to hang with like-minded folk.
Most importantly, become your highest, best, most authentic self; genuinely be the kind of person you are looking for. Your vibe will attract your tribe. "Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all of the barriers within yourself that you have built against it..." Rumi

Please don't sell yourself short out of loneliness. The Buddha once said that if you can't find friends your equal or better, your better off pursuing your solitary path for a while. There's no true companionship with fools.
May peace be with you.

 

It's hard to make friends as an adult. We have the people we work with. We have our acquaintances. We have neighbors. But a true friend? They are tough to find. I think you'll never have the kind of friends you had when you were a kid....I have a true friend I've known since 7th grade...could I pick up the phone and say 'I'm really having a tough time, I need to talk, can we meet for lunch?' Yes, he'd be there...but today we are on different planets.

 

Welcome dear lady! We are here with you if desired. Many understand and would love to journey with you here on HF;-)

 

I don't think it gets any easier as you age either. I have friends with kindred spirits, but none close to where I live. As Twogigahz stated, they are too far away for any real interaction other than email or phone.

We moved almost 6 years ago to a new location/home, and while we have neighbors that we initially bonded, over the course of those 6 years, we've found differences that keep us from being close friends.

We have another couple that we have built a friendship with nearby, but they're not that close.

It's tough and try meetups or other sort of gatherings.

 

My old friends are all dead and I too would have trouble meeting new ones. That is if I tried. Excellent advice given to you above. Forum members here always come through!

 

Seems to me, the problem might be the Texas small town. When I hear "Texas small town", I think of The Last Picture Show, which portrayed the stifling atmosphere of a small town in north Texas. I live in a small town in Oklahoma, and am adjusted to it, but if the culture in your town is very traditional and they think your environmental interests are strange, you might consider another location, like Austin--or maybe someplace beyond the "granola curtain', where there are likely to be more folks like you, or fewer rednecks. Austin is a university town. You're close to college or graduate school age. Have you thought about taking a course or two in environmental sciences or some other area of interest? Presumably, students in such courses might have interests similar to yours. Or maybe you could join an environmental interest group. Or if you want to go full hippie, have you checked out gatherings of the Rainbow family?

 

I've found our county Senior Center to be a good thing. The county bus service will take me there for a dollar.

 

Plus, as a man, you're definitely out numbered by senior ladies on the make.

 

Small missouri town here.

 

Thats terrible. Easter Island could have used some more tree huggers and maybe they wouldent have cut down all the trees killing them selves in the process.

Earth is a big Easter island in space right now.

Its your location,

I lived in the suberbs of NY city and the people were AWFUL!

Worst rudest self centered asswipes on the planet.

New Yorkers react to being named 'rudest city in America'

The suberbs were WORSE, cut down all the trees and admire "my lawn". My phony chemical pesticide poison turf "My lawn"

I HATE NY especially suberbs of NYC

I left the culture of narcissism that's NY for Florida.

Everything changed. Best thing I ever did. Florida is cool.

 

The most beautiful real people I know often have no or few friends while the most fake disgusting people I know are so popular .

I don’t have friends either.
I’m 47.
I have a boyfriend and I keep contact with three x but not hanging out in person just a email or phone call every now n then.

seemed like friends I once had wanted to take who I am from me like energy n aura n so n didnt want me to be and feel like myself but they rather feel like me also that they wanted to dominate me or sex sell me against my will and nasty stuff or not value me etc so I don’t think any of them were real friends perhaps.

real friends love you for who you are and want you to be and feel like yourself and don’t harm you but wish you the best and care for you.

thankfully my partner and dog love me.

I was on another forum where I thought I had friends but the moderator got annoyed with me and used abusive disrespectful unprofessional language at me and only one person defended me and none of the other moderators called him out so I left.
Not ok to treat me that way.
So disappointed that these people I’ve chatted with online for years didn’t stock up for me and say how unprofessional and abusive his words were.

I don’t feel connection with many . Hardly ever.

 

:-( hoping for better friends for you!!

 

I wish you the best in finding real friends.I too have a dog who is my best friend.Bigg huggs

 

You might like Austin better, but you wouldn't necessarily. Maybe you can take some trips there and see how you feel about the place.

The stock advice for making friends is to find an interest group that meets regularly, like a class, a meditation group, some kind of hobby group, etc. I also agree with @Tishomingo about the Rainbowfamily.

I hope you'll be able to find more friends soon


edit - I just noticed that Softie hasn't posted on HF since 2023