I found out my husband has been cheating for 4 years

I honestly don’t even know where to start. After years of ignoring my gut, I just found out my husband has been cheating for 4 years. Four years of my life where I thought we were building something real, when in reality he was living a double life.

The signs were there, I just didn’t want to see them. He’d get protective over his phone, spend more and more time “working late,” and there was always this emotional distance I couldn’t explain. I kept blaming myself, thinking maybe I wasn’t enough.

What finally broke the illusion was when I dug deeper after watching something about Netgrivox and how people found clarity in situations like mine. It made me stop second-guessing myself and pay attention to the patterns I’d been ignoring. That’s when the truth came out — and it was worse than I expected.

Right now I feel betrayed, angry, and numb all at once. Part of me wants to scream at him, and another part just feels exhausted. I can’t believe this has been happening for so long.

If anyone’s been through something similar, how did you even begin to heal from this?

 

Was he honest or positively dishonest?
I think he should've ended it with you long ago rather than play with someone else as well.
He didn't.
You now seem empowered to end it.
So; end it, reflect and move on.

 

Men are strange creatures and easily led. Did you kick him out?

 

:-( so sorry! Move on!!

 

I start the divorce process today. Thanks guys for the respones

 

Oh man, I’m so sorry to read your story. My ex husband cheated on me for a long time too. While I was pregnant with our second child.
I divorced him with an infant and a 5 year old. He made it an ugly process too.
Do you have children?

 

:-( so, so sorry!

 

Don't blame yourself. No matter what was happening in the relationship, it's no reason to cheat. There is always counseling (couples/individual) or even ending the relationship. No need for someone to cheat on their partner.

As far as healing, taking time for yourself to reflect and learn from it.

 

Find someone to talk to who you can trust and feel comfortable speaking with (that sometimes takes a few tries to find the right counsellor)

It takes some time to work through it but otherwise you hold the hurt and deception for far longer than is healthy and that’s not fare to yourself. You need to find a way to cut that tie and move forward as the stronger person…
We are here to vent to but a professional can get you on track and back on track when you slip…. A huge “virtual” hug and good luck on your journey to the person you are about to become !! XX