I have returned

you may remember me


the last few weeks of my life have been insane to say the least, i had a bit of mindfuck from taking so much acid in such a short time ofcourse. i can think alot clearer now, and with the experience's i have come to soo many conslusions, and i see things alot clearer than ever before. i had to remove myself from this site for varios psychologcial reasons.

i allways used to take acid and think to myself, have my thoughts changed? has acid changed me? and id try and spot the different thought.
now my whole brain has been re-wired, and my mind has come thro it with some of the best possible conclusions.

i have so much to write here, soo much on my mind, but it proves difficult to write down in words. to put the sum total of all my experiences, and all my after-thoughts and peicing together of my experiences, into a few paragraghs of words is nothing short of impossible, which makes somone who hasnt taken lsd wonder if this guy is insane. ofcourse thats another debate.

i think this is using more of my brain than usual.

lsd has improved my personality i rekon in ways, in ways i may seem weirder, but i often see my mind telling me great things about myself. my ego has increased. i almost feel like my conscousnnes is now supreme - superior over others who havent taken lsd. i think that if somone who hadnt taken any drugs could suddenly be in my cousness they would be in a trip, and would be like "man, how do you function, your are constant trippin". the dreams have been nothing short of amazing, and twisted.
have been gettin slightly confused in some of them tho the day, and my sense of time is quite distorted. ofcourse these are just apart of the mindfuck in which im sure i obtained from takin a few too many hits of acid in too short of time.

a sort of what happened on 3 hits and double droppin 2 pills -to experince all the feelings of good and evil, all the intensities of happy and sad along with a feelling of complete understanding and unity of all that was, will and ever will be, reaching a state of concsiousness more profound and intense that of any other, an entire loss of grip of identity, the mind a universe without thought, pure understanding , where is where detachment of the real world, somthing that re-wires your brain and changes the way you think and feel forever. a trip? in your mind? amazing

experience effects beleifs greatly, more than anything else.
how much is crazy, and how much is deeper understandings and putting your brain into overload to reach more than normally humanly possible understandings. ofcourse they think its crazy cause they cant grasp our understanding at all.


not to mention i have quit smoking.
if i want somthing now, i feel as if i can do it, or i will go out and do what i wanted to do, instead of just thinkin about it and never gettin round to it.

i have quit smoking. smoking is shit, costs alot of money and kills you. its an addiction. addictions are for weak minds and weak people. not me. i broke that.
i feel amazing, and proud of myself, i am putting the money i would normally spend on ciggeretes aside to spend on things i really want, whether it be some clothes or for some 360 games. so its awsumm i tell you.
pluss im goin low on the alchole for a fair while i rekon.
im feeling good about some of my new thoughts, and new ways of thinkin. its amazing.


what do you think about this peice of paragraph i wrote:

To re-peice together all the concepts and understandings of reality, with a new brain or "expanded consciousnes", is the time after taking lsd. is close to and just like, a baby peicing together its perception of the world. unlock and access some of the furtherest most distant funtions of the brain, effectifly switching it on, giving you a look at the world for the first time, with new thoughts and undersdtandings leaving you feel like you woke up out of a dream, into the real world. truelly this must be conscousness expansion, or brain overload, using more brain power than normal. imagine the prospects of such a drug, turning 'robots' into humans, the ability to break the robot out of a set linear code of thinking, stemmed from strange societal views. giving it the power to make its own decisions and see things from a real world point of view. the robot is now more aware of itself and its surroundings and the inner processes. the robot is now a human.

the prospects of such a drug have been noted. in the 60's ofcourse' hippies' 1967 the summer of love. those who took the drug became human, and wanted nothing but to stop war and create peace and harmony. ofcourse the government didnt want this, they didnt spend millions of dollars on nukes for nothing, they didnt want their robots to have a mind of their own, they had to put a stop to it. so they outlawed lsd, and with it the possibilty of any transcendental change in humanity. well for the time being.



any one have any experience with deffinatly no drinkin or smoking weed after a few to many acid trips. i went psychotic while drinkin, and went insane while smoking weed. each time induced a relativly significant perspective shift, a shift from one dream to another, without being able to return to previous dream at all. and it takes a good week to recover from, so i cant smoke or drink at all.
i went out on friday night, and i didnt drink, exept for one beer at the start of the night. i was the driver. and it was a real learning experience. being out there seeing things from that new perspective while sober. im glad i did it. and i dont feel the need to drink or get fucked up on the weekends really now at all. just a couple beers is sufficient.

so all in all, with my new "work-out res"eme, my new perspective and way of thinking, i know im gonna be better than ever, feel better than ever, and be better than ever.
with an attitude like that, i know only good things can happen.

i like to think my car is alive, mix fantasy with reality. give it a name, say hello, good bye, and talk and pat the car. ofcourse after experienceing the car as living, how can i not, to see and hear the car breathe, to feel the car move under me. is really quite exiting. anyone else have little fantasy things like that. ofcourse i know its fantasy, but the line is crossing.

so thats my story, just thought id share it with you people.

 

i litteraly have between 10-20 flashbacks a day. is that normal? some linger for a couple minits, some only the initial flash for a few seconds, then the usual extra 30 seconds or so of 'coming back'. while driving, while working, even talkin to my mum, havin to quickly tail off my conversation and scratch my head. heh.
i think i know why i stopped myself coming here, i wouldnt be thinkin of this shit if i wasnt here. im off for a few more weeks+

 

many blessings to you peterpopper! you are missed.

i think cutting out the booze and cigarettes is a GREAT idea! and if you need time to collect your own thoughts...well that's ok to.

3xi has to take a break from th forum as well. his injury is really bad and he's finding that all the typing is aggrivating it further--he needs to rest his arms & hands COMPLETELY so he can FINALLY recover. poor guy has been in pain since October!!!! he'll be back as soon as he can and hopefully you will be to peterpopper--i have missed your posts!

 

if this is the conclusion that you have ended up with, then it sounds like to me that maybe you need to rethink some things.

 

Sad to say it but you are becoming what society would call "insane". First the short term memory goes, then the actual understanding of what is real. It may seem good but sooner or later you will end up in a padded room to think away the rest of your life. The human mind can only be re wired so many times until damage is done. You wont be able to come out of it. Humans are not intelligent enough to completely shape who they are without the help of everyone else. Yes if everyone in the world took mass amounts of acid it wouldnt be a problem. Think of oneness. By expanding your mind to this extent you are disconnecting yourself from the oneness. What I have said is VERY important and even though I didnt type this up to best understanding Im sure your super powered mind can get what Im saying.

 

absolute gibberish

 

Im going to have to disagree with you. Sure we are able to shape ourselves but to completly disconnect and do it your own way is not of this world. People will not be able to understand you what so ever. And when this happens you are deemed insane.

 

Im sure if you get 3xi to read this thread he will understand what Im trying to say.

 

I think you are a very confused individual with some major personal issues and taking Acid threw your whole perspective into shock and now you are even more confused. Acid isn't for some people, especially those weak of mind or with a very warped grip on reality to begin with. IMO I think you need to just grow up.

 

Peter Popper, I think you've picked one too many pecks of pickled peppers. Time for you to seek some proper medical help. You seem blind to the damage substance abuse has caused you already. Wishing you the best.

 

lol. its funny, so many people, on this forum, told you that you were heading down a path of destruction. more then once i told you that you need to fucking slow down with the drug use. dont blame all this shit on your experiences with acid..you said that you took more then 200 x pills or some kinda shit. you did this to yourself. i believe that you can snap yourself out of it, but its gonna take time.

 

i think you guys are saying terrible things
I don't think you guys realize how wildly different people can construct their reality tunnels and that this is COMPLETELY ok. Every reality tunnel has bliss at the end of it just by the very nature of what it is.
When native americans say 'everything is alive, everything has spirit'. This is not a metaphor for them. Normal people just turn all these different reality tunnels into metaphors because thats the only way the typical western minded reality tunnel can make sense of other reality tunnels "oh its metaphorical". But to the native american it is VERY literal when they say everything is alive. And I do personally understand this very well and I apply it to everything. I do feel like everything thing has a spirit, everything has a presence, everything has its own personality BEYOND just the metaphor. I made another thread here before describing how doing certain things on my computer, doing certain things in my sketch pad quite literally pulls me back into LSD to a percentage. Like the monitor breathes, pulsates, all the text jiggles around and does whatnot in it's own little way with personality and this actually helps me use it. It is completely possible to develop a similar relationship with a car as peter popper said. Although what are you gonna do with that? I dunno, become a good race car driver? Although I do think by the very nature of this matter, if you don't use this relationship with your car for something great it will fade over time. Because I do get the strong suspicion that my psychedellic relation has remained with my sketchpad and computer for so long is because I find great purpose in utilizing them for my ultimate goals.

But peter popper, I also went through a very strong 180 flip in consciousness and nothing you say really registers crazy to me as it did with some others. Even the notion that your above people. Just understand that whatever more power, mental energy, mental ability you do gain, it is so you can serve humanity with it. It's not for you, it is for you to spread. And an interesting thing is. If you can manage to interact with many other people, integrate with many other reality tunnels. Then your reality 'tunnel' becomes more like, just an open field. Although, I get the notion you already understood this.

And what you say about becoming a baby again. Ah I know all too well. I would invoke the symbolism of this painting quite often when having to interact with people http://alexgrey.com/a-gallery/8-24/interbeing.jpg
I find that the very essence of the English language imposes certain 'truths' just by its nature, that many 'diseases' and 'problems' are actually just diseases within the English language. Which is why I now operate my brain off of pretty much entirely visual metaphors, keeping my brain wired up exclusively to English to deduce logic and fact I found to fail me. The realm of visual contemplation, geometric understanding (sacred geometries) is far more pure, true and relevant. the tesseract is a great model of what human conciousness is

I would profess that, completely disconnecting and allowing your DNA to wire up your brain is the only way to do it. And that by doing this you do eventually get yourself wired up as per your DNA dictates and this is your permanent, never-changing, non-ego-imposed conciousness. But yes by doing this. Everyones brain will be different.

 

oh my ry goody... reality tunnel? you are totally missing the bigger picture here. he is not crazy, but the guy definitely needs help. he also needs caring people here to point out the difference between theories of romantic existentialism and destructive substance abuse. This young man needs professional help - not your theories on "reality tunnels". And if you can't see that, then i'm afraid that you need a bit of help yourself - or perhaps an extended trip inside your own reality tunnel. PP has been posting this kind of sad stuff for ages - wake up sir.

 

I dont think you understand what I have said rygoody. Its hard for me to put into words. But let me say that I have done large amounts of acid in a short time frame and I have been down the same road. There is nothing wrong with manipulating yourself to your likeing but you can only go so far. He even said that he may seem "weird" to other people and imagine how "weird" he would seem with even more acid binges. I think he will be fine and very happy but the closed minded people of society will not see it that way. Also with great power comes great responsibility. If you going to expand your mind to great lengths then you have to know how to use it. Change the world. Thats my goal in life.

 

I think we should all stop being online psychologists and mothers. There is no way to diagnose a problem online, if he thinks he is fine, his judgment is whats best. Also on the "insane" issue. Just because society deems you crazy or insane, it doesn't mean you really are. Who the hell decided to define insanity anyway? Conformity is bullshit.

 

I dont think there is such thing as insanity. But society DOES. Just look at Syd Barrett. He was a genius. His creativity was far beyond anyone at the time and look what happened to him. Like I said, with great power comes great responsibility.

 

I think Syd's insanity had as much to do with the pressure of society as it did Cid. pun intended . basically i mean that he could have tooken the acid minus the fame, and i believe he would have been fine. he just perceived society differently than most, and really looked into it, the connotations, the labels, everything. he was a product of it, and so was his image. i could easily be wrong though.

 

look everyone hates conformity blah blah and we all get to bitch on how society is terrible. the fact of the matter is, humans are a social animal, and majortiy rules. those that seem dangerous to the social group will be punished accordingly. WE LIVE IN SOCIETY PEOPLE. Everyday you have to go out into the real world and deal with people. if you can't, then something is obviously severely wrong with you. end of story.

 

im finding it difficult to find the words for what i want to say. i just think you are giving peter popper to hard of a time. i dont know what hes done in his past but its clear to me that he just had a very positive, uplifting experience. ive landed in similar mindsets(not to the degree that he described here) after doing shrooms...how can i say this. society says when you do psychadelics you become crazy...but are we crazy, or is it the other way around? is is crazy that you find a greater understanding of the world around you...im not getting what im feeling across here, maybe another day. ANYWAY... TO PETER POPPER - thank you for putting the time into that wonderfull post. i understand how you feel and thank you for helping me remember my wonderfull experiences and understanding. i want to say more but cant find the words. much love to everybody. thanks again for everyones input

 

jellybeen2002, I see nothing wrong with the concept of reality tunnel. I think it's quite easily one of the greatest philosophical components to come to western society. It really does not take much to notice that people quite literally live in different realities. Societies live in collective realities. But realities, even collective ones, can be EXTREMELY different each other. The only component needed for a 'reality' to 'exist' is that it has a means of interaction with Gaia and functioning on earth. But you get that down, and you can do whatever. Trees can be alive and guiding you, can be aliens, gnomes, whatever. And it's all completely plausible, all completely real, because that is the very definition of reality tunnel. What is in your reality.

Now I understand you get to a 'collective' 'universal' reality that pervades everything. But honestly, western psychology seems to be so far from that. The typical American citizen is so far from it. So what right do they to pass judgment on which reality tunnel is unconditionally true?

and prone420, that does clarify some more. But still, some people do just disconnect from typical society, not just physically, but completely psychologically. I see nothing wrong with it. Yes some people who did this went into their own little world which wasn't too happy. But the ability is there to go into your little world that is just ecstatically happy always and even better. I dont see the point in trying to pull and hold everyone here by some logic or rationality. If 'here' is good and there attracted to it, then they will stay.