i feel like the only thing i can safely and honestly say right now is, "I don't know." i don't know where i want to be. i don't know who i want to be. a bit of history on myself: i grew up in new england, moved to illinois when i was 14. went through high school, made some great friends. then i graduated and moved back to new england for college. i dropped out after not even a semester and moved back to illinois. my mom, who i love and miss dearly, lives in tennessee. i currently live in illinois. times are fucking hard. i live with a good friend but neither of us has a job. i had one, but it was the overnight shift and it was fucking up my sleeping schedule royally, making me slowly go insane it felt. so i just stopped going. and i'm broke as fuck and have tons of bills (including college ones that i don't even know how i'm ever going to pay). now, my mom really wants me to move to tennessee to get re-stable, but.... i suck at making friends, and i'll miss the ones i have here in illinois, and i'll feel like a failure if i move in with my parents again. i felt like a failure when i moved away from college even though i was with my illinois people. i used to have depression really bad throughout middle school and part of high school, but it went away. now it's back, it's been back for about a month, i can feel the lack of happiness in my mind and i hate it. i don't know. any thoughts... anyone?
First, take a nice deep breath and when you exhale imagine all the negativity leaving your mind and body with that breath. I have been where you are, and actually I am there again. I know how hard it is and how much it sucks. But you need to take one thing at a time. And just try to get through each day at a time. Honestly, i think you should go to your mom's. You need to be taken care of for a while. ANd you need that motherly presence. DO NOT think of it as a failure! THink of it as a time where you can gather your thoughts and try to get a grip on the depression. ANd remember, you can stay with her but it is not permanent. You can go back to your friends after you feel better. But for now, whenever a negative thought pops in your head, just acknowledge it and then say goodbye to it and replace with a positive one~ I do hope that this at least helped a little bit..... Please keep in tough and let us know how you are doing.
yea it sounds like youve been having a bit of a rough time although you say its hard for you to make friends i would suggest moving back to ten with your parents it sounds like you could really use some loving family to help get you back on your feet again and maybe you could move back and get a job when you feel ready good luck with everything and keep us posted
thanks, both of you, for replying. i guess this is kind of a hard time in my life.... i ended up moving to tennessee with one of my best friends. we're gonna both try to save up some money and hopefully move back to illinois.... or somewhere else maybe. i don't know, we're young, it seems like the world is open for the taking.
