i KNOW i was raped once but tell me...was THIS rape too.... or not...

this is very personal and i have not shared it with anyone. but on here, i dont care. i respect many of the people on here and the people that will look down on me...well, they dont know me.

when i was homeless, i was with my "boyfriend" at the time (who was using me) and his friend... his friend was a complete asshole. but i had no where else to stay. so the three of us had a cheap-ass hotel room one night and were smoking and stuff...and....

with my "boyfriend" on one side of me and his friend on the other (hey, i was just 18, homeless, not smart..., scared, niave)....

i was all drunk and stoned and the friend of the "bf" kept begging me for sex...real quiet in my ear... ya know?

and i said "no" about 10 times. minimum. then to be honest, i acted kinda slutty... i remembered how no one loved me, not even my family and i let him. BUT by letting- i mean, i shut up...and when he asked "can i stick it in?", i pretended to be asleep cause i was so upset about everything.

i never considered it rape...but what was it?????

 

i think it was....i mean you just shut up, as you put it, to get the asshole off your back...and by doing that you got hurt....when you shouldn't have....guys are assholes

 

yeah, and what defines rape? i dont know.

but i know i can hardly even think of it to this day.

it just makes me so sick to my stomach.

 

I have a story kinda like that too... i didn't really consider it rape either, but finally decided I was just badly taken advantage of.. which I think is what happened to you. although i would lean more towards "date rape"... I'm not sure what the definition of rape is to be honest with you, except for someone to force sex on you.

 

yeah, it's not exactly like FORCING... but i mean, if you really dive into the meaning... psychologically it's kinda like that...

i dont know.

i know it wasnt pleasant.

 

yeah it's something i don't like to think about myself... i once started talking to my ex about it when i had been drinking one night and couldn't finish, had to go home b/c i got really upset.. which makes me think maybe i should talk to somebody about it... but it is all over now, and I was young and stupid (18 like you were)... oh well, I can now say I have lived and learned

 

well, sweetie, this happened 7ish yrs. ago to me....

i was actually forcably raped once and i had minimal probs. talking (wasnt easy but i wasnt so uncertain).... this is truly the first ive ever talked about it.

i guess i just feel safe here.

if you ever want to talk to me.... please pm me or i.m. me on msn...

dnbgurl22@msn.com

love ya!

 

He knew you weren't awake.

 

i want to kill him!! for begging me over and over and making me think it was my fault..

i mean! at that point.. i was 18.. he was 25... i was homeless. i had only had sex once....

i was harrassed in school. i had low-self- esteem.

id SERIOUSLY tear his ass up now though!!! where is he!?!??!?!?

 

Im so sorry to hear about this.
I believe it was rape. If someone sleeps with you against your will and without your consent then it is wrong. It made you feel violated and traumatised and therefore it was definitly some form of sexual violation. Its so sad that things like this happen.... what is wrong with some men.
*hugs*

 

thanks gloria. i dont know. i have always felt that if i talked about it, then i was making too big a deal about it. that is was my fault.

you know.... "you should have..."been a good girl, not gotta kicked out, picked better friends, not had these issues, etc."

 

I have a similar story, involving my first boyfriend. I don't know if I would call it rape, but he definitely begged and begged me and practically forced himself on me, and used every excuse in the book to get inside me. "If a guy doesn't get off when he's really aroused, it can really hurt him..." shit like that. I was really stupid and naive at the time. So yeah, I don't know if it was rape, but looking back, I know I was violated. It doesn't really bother me now. I think of it as I lived and learned from the experience. I won't let anyone take advantage of me again.

 

I'd kill em. This reminds me of what happened to my friends cousin. She was with some friends at a friend of one of the friends house. She said they tried to get her to take something, but she didn't want to and when she went to the bathromm and came back she said her pepsi tasted funny and she thought they put something in it. She got sick and went and laid in someones bedroom and he came in and she said no, but couldn't do much and half way passed out and he went ahead and did what he wanted. I went to his house when we knew no one else (perents) would be there and she got him to open the door and I was standing off to the side and I ran in a grabed his ass and took him into the kitchen. Some fighting happened but he wasn't even half my size so I eventualy pinned him down and shoved/broke off a broom stick in his ass. I think he moved away after that, but I'm not sure.

 

i love you juggeys. i really do *kisseys* you are the BEST!!!


and welll.... i dont even know what to say the the above him poster. im drunk and i forget what i had to say but i know what happened to me was NOT right. he was NOT my bf... i was fucking homeless and practically a virgin (had sex once) and he knew it and he begged like that...

id like to have to him beg for his life!!

 

I use to be homeless, but I had my juggalos behind me so I never got raped although hairy al tried quite often

 

I would define it as rape since you weren't consenting. Gimme a second to whip out the dictionary

 

No means no. Homeless, drunk or whatever. You said NO, if he did what he wanted, knowing you didn't want it, it was rape.

I am so sorry this happened to you.

Have you spoken to a rape counselor? It would help. You did nothing wrong, being homeless isn't a crime, and someone giving you a place to sleep does not give him control over your body.

Blessings,

Maggie

 

rape:

Noun
1. The crime of forcing another person to submit to sex acts, especially sexual intercourse. 2. The act of seizing and carrying off by force; abduction. 3. Abusive or improper treatment; violation: a rape of justice.
Transitive verb
Inflected forms: raped, rap·ing, rapes 1. To force (another person) to submit to sex acts, especially sexual intercourse; commit rape on. 2. To seize and carry off by force. 3. To plunder or pillage.
Etymology


Here's what I found online

 

wait, i'm kinda confused.

He was begging you..you said no...then you pretended to be asleep and he had his way with you thinking you were asleep?

 

Yeah, that's rape. Saying no, or NOT giving consent or not being able to give consent IS what determines rape.