So i'd been best friends with this one girl for about a year or so and she is very beautiful, very funny, and just all around a great person. We got along very well and just fed off each others chemistry all the time. Well eventually i started to fall in love with her, and i thought she was falling in love with me too. She was giving me all the signs and being very flirty and everything, which before she had never been. So after a few months of thinking about if i wanted to risk our friendship on it, i asked her out and had a rose delivered to her house with a note on it from me. Well, she didn't feel the same way i did about her and she declined me date by just saying were just friends and she thought the rose was a joke for some reason and got super pissed at me. I explained that the rose wasn't a joke but it didn't make anything better. We havent talked in about a week and im like depressed about it. Its just an overall shitty situation. It doesnt help that all of her friends who i'm friends with too are mad at me as well and havent spoken to me in the same amount of time. So yeah i dont know why i wrote this story i just wanted to rant about it.
hmm ouch. I don't understand how she could be THAT mad over something like this. Maybe write her a note saying how you feel and that seems like a stupid reason to end a friendship, but at the same time I could see it being awkward.
yeah ive told her i just wanna be friends now and stuff but its just like she doesnt wanna be friends anymore. All my friends agree she's acting pretty immature about it but that doesnt make me feel any better.
If your profile is correct, you're 17. Relationships at 17 are not serious. Doesn't mean your feelings of rejection are invalid. Just try to take it with a grain of salt and remember: relationships at 17 are not serious. That story that is hurtful/confusing to you now, will seem a lot funnier when you think about it 20 years from now.
If it were me I would tell her face to face that to treat someone who she has been friends with, like a piece of shit just because your chemistry as friends naturally evolved into something with more depth is shitty. Does she think that only enemies should be lovers. I would then go on to tell her that you have no shame, make no apologies and that you KNOW that you did nothing wrong. Lastly that your are offended and disgusted that she is being such a bitch just because you dig her and that if she wants to carry on like this then you don't need her as a friend, lover or anything else. She very boldly sat you in a position where you have nothing to lose, go take back your respect.
Rigamarole - - Apologize to her for causing an upset in her life ... and expect nothing in return. You might be surprised. Every time you open your heart you risk getting hurt. It's well worth the risk, my young friend. Never expect the expect the chemistry to work in both directions ... but never lose hope! Good luck. When I was 16 or 17 or 18 my relationships were damned serious! And it really pissed me off when an adult would say, "Oh, it's only an infatuation." or "Oh, it just puppy love." BULLSHIT!
I almost always agree with you Mr. Mothman, but not this time. Being rude to another never gains the respect of anyone, especially one's self respect. EDIT: But sometimes it sure feels good!
I see what you mean Troll, but I sense that she is testing his metal and that being meek in this instance would not be in his best interest. She has already convinced him that he has made a mistake, when he did nothing wrong. It would be different if he took off his clothes and tried to mount her, but he has not done anything to deserve her wrath. When I run it all through the computer it seems he should not feel shame or blame here and that he should speak up and let her know. In the end you are right and my advice is an emotional reaction and a more peaceful method may be best, but speaking from my heart is my nature.
I didn't mean to imply that he should feel shame or blame here. Apologizing to the woman is seldom the wrong thing to do, but that sure does not mean groveling. The trick is to know what to apologize for. When in doubt it's easy to say, "I apologize for being such a jerk." Om Tare Tuttare Ture Svāhā__________________ Sheryl Soft and tender, tough and hard .... Never touched a razor .... I shall love her always!
Many agree with you my friend, but they usually modify it a little .... like, "You're a wise ass Old Troll."
1`. Never reveal your true feelings to a woman. That gives them the upper hand. 2. Cut her out of your life. Just ignore her from now on.
Showing too much interest in a woman gives her too much power and makes you look like a weak approval seeking wimp.
Pfft, its not about power. Its about being true to eachother. You are talking like all women are bitches. Only someone who is immature would talk about power in a relationship.
Clearly, the problem is you only gave her a rose. When I want to woo a woman I bring her the heads of her enemies and leave them on her doorstep. [/silly] I don't think the OP has done anything wrong, and he doesn't owe her an apology for being honest about his feelings (as if they were optional). Just tell her that you never meant to make her feel uncomfortable, but it didn't seem right not being honest about how you felt, that you value her companionship in any form. And save power manipulations for politics, you want a lover not a serf
Exactly. Dood, what you did was down right Amazing. (With a capital A). When a man sends a woman a rose in this day and age she should realize a good man when she sees one. Do NOT tear yourself up. She is cracked in the head, and irrational. She will regret blowing you off. I am 25 now, and all those chicks that blew me off in high school are tracking me down on facebook and expressing this same regret. Keep on smiling brother, I heard the ladies like that
