I need a guy's point of view on a body issue.

Okay let me say right off the bat that I'm perfectly fine with my boyfriend watching porn, and I enjoy watching it with him. Here's the issue. I got on the computer and accidentaly clicked internet explorer instead of firefox.

Well, I guess my boyfriend realized that nobody uses internet explorer and that it has a separate history from firefox (I didn't know that)...because there was a whole lot of porn on it today. Even that doesn't really bother me, aside from the fact that he was obviously trying to hide it.

All the porn has "big tits" or "busty" in the title. And a while back we were hanging out with friends, and boobs came up in the conversation. He's always told me I have great boobs/body, he loves them, blah blah blah. But he's a boob man, and he prefers big tits. I have a good sized C cup...but he's said before (this was a total foot in mouth, uncomfortable moment.) about some girl "No, that's not really my taste." our friend asked what his type was, and he said "Around a D, DD cup."

I don't want to give him a complex, and I don't want him to feel like he can't act naturally around me or that he has to hide his thoughts. I love checking girls out with him, and I understand that everybody likes to look at a little variety, that it doesn't always mean something...But I can't help feeling hurt everytime I think...am I not his type? He tells me I'm everything he's always wanted, so why does he always check out people who look so different from me?

I keep telling myself its normal for him to want to check out people who are different from what he's used to with me...but its really giving me self esteem issues. And I've never been happy with my breasts...I don't think I look that great naked. I'm seriously considering a boob job because he's so perfect and he's everything I've ever wanted and I just want to be his ideal so badly. Even though he says I already am and he tells me I have a great body and everything, I don't feel like its good enough.

I feel horrible thinking this way. I feel like I'm not giving him enough credit...I know he's not doing anything wrong and that its not his fault, really, that I feel this way.

So. Men. Does looking at porn and checking out other girls affect the way you look at the woman you're with? I guess that's my main head trip.

 

I think he's just looking at what he wants to look at at that time, think about it this way do you like only one kind of food?

I think my girlfriend is perfect but when I watch porn I dont search for "hot blonde 16 year old" First off that would be very illegal and second, other girls can be really hot too.

Maybe you could make him a porn tape? Then he could watch that.

 

from personal experience, checking out porn of other girls actually gets me hotter for my own.

and not because I'm thinking about them while mauling her about, but because she's cool with it and knows that she won't fulfill 100% of my tastes, but she does fulfill the 'important' ones.

sweetie, guys are really pretty simple creatures, and you're overthinking this a bit, I would think. Or I might be full of it.

I think what it is, is that he likes you just the way you are, and accepts you just the way you are, and you're worried about him finding some fault with you to where he wouldn't want you anymore.

Guys that matter really don't care about 5 extra pounds, or a cupsize down from even our own 'ideal'.

Guys are very simple, in that if we're with a girl, she's absolutely good enough*, and while we might look, or even stroke off to the thought of other girls, who're we with?

Please, hun, for his sake, don't try to make yourself into his ideal. It'll only cause problems, because you'll be unhappy changing who you are, and he'll be unhappy that you changed for him. It's tempting, I know, but I've been on both sides of this issue in my own past, and I can say that it makes no one happy to bring a daydream into reality. It only sets up unrealistic expectations and stress, and relationships are stressful enough as is, without worrying if you're getting everything 100% perfectly 'right'.

*(footnote: 'good enough' in this context means 'perfect, desirable, sexy, wanted, needed, adored, cherished and loved, just as she is'; not as a measurement of 'settling for something less'. english just has a rather pathetic capacity for discussion on certain things)

 

My wife has a tremendous set of huge titties. I love em, but I must say that for novelty sake, I'd like nothing more than ro wrap my lips around some a cups. My wife knows this and we both also know it has nothing to do with her and that it's just that in which I dont have. That in and of itself makes it fun.

 

yeah, it really doesn't matter. i like the reference to food up there. i adore my husband, he's gorgeous, sexy, masterful. but a change every now and then is fun. doesn't mean i don't have my favorite at home. it just means sometimes my eyes wander.

 

Do not get a boob job, please. I'm sure your tits are quite beautiful, and I'm sure he thinks so too.

 

GOOD GOD!!!! NO BOOB JOBS!!! I'M BEGGING YOU. nothing breaks my heart more than seeing another pair of perfect, pert, sensitive bubbies going under the knife to satisfy some peculiar concept of "breat perfection." good god, the things are horrible. personally, though, those women with the tiny tits are so outrageously sexy to me. i just wanna roll around on them.

 

btw, knot, dave is an ass man. my ass is HORRIBLE. but i'm still his favorite woman. okay, he's a nipple man, too, so anything with a nipple is pretty much right up his alley. but there's nothing in this world that makes my ass attractive.

 

except for me in it. LOL

 

ew. that's not a pleasant image for out of the blue like that. BAD DAVE! lol.

 

I agree with KC.

Please, for the love of god, no boob jobs.

 

i have, however, decided that it no longer matters, i'm fixing my ass.

 

having not seen your ass directly, I can't comment, but judging by the general shape of your body in your album, I dont' think there's anything not to like about it.

 

Not everything a man wants to masturbate to is what he wants as a girlfriend/wife. The people in porn that I watch I'd want to fuck, not date. I guess big boobs are a plus as usual but it's not a big deal to him probably if yours aren't huge.

 

Thanks guys.

I do feel a lot better about my body than I have lately. And I looked up all of the risks of boob jobs...its too scary and unnecessary.

I wouldn't give up my nipple sensitivity for anything in the world.

 

I actually disagree. I think your boyfriend doesn't really need to be hiding porn from you if he loves you the way that you are.

I actually put my foot down when it comes to porn. I don't think it's appropriate for my man to look at other women performing sexual acts so he can jerk off.

It's just not necessary. Plus, I am pretty good at fulfilling his needs, and if he watches porn then it undermines what I give him.

You should feel free to let him know that you found his porn stash and let him know about your insecurities. Seriously, he's your man. He needs to know that it hurts you. It's okay to be upset about it.

Too many people accept their boyfriends for watching obscene amounts of porn on the internet because it's easily accessible and socially encouraged. But you have your rights. Most porn on the net is degrading, raunchy and smut-filled anyway, so you should ask him why he watches it in the first place.

 

:cheers2: damned straight.

 

Um...no. No, sweetie, it would NOT be alright for me to react that way. I didn't find his porn stash, because we share a porn stash. I said in my first post that we love watching it together on occasion, and that I'm perfectly fine with him watching it.

It would be hypocritical of me to get mad at him for watching the porn, since I watch it too. I have a hard time getting myself off if he's not there, and porn helps. And he doesn't watch obscene amounts.

My issue was with my own body, and that he was watching porn that featured big boobs, and I have insecurities about my own boobs. I was worried about the content, because I wanted to be sure that he was 100% happy with my body...and I know now that he is.

And I DID talk to him about the porn I found on the computer...I talked to him about it to let him know that it's okay, that I know about it, and that I'm totally fine with it.

I've come to the realization that it's just visual stimulation...its harder to orgasm when you have no stimulation other than your hand.

 

Knot, I agree with you that porn is just visual stimulation (without choosing to debate any kind of morality or degradation issue. Sorry, I don't go in for THAT debate) and, honestly, most guys tend to be visually oriented.

I think you did the right thing for your situation, as you haven't slipped into hypocritical waters of 'I watch porn, but you can't.' and kept it to the issue at hand..i.e. your worry about your boobs. (which I personally have to say are gorgeous, judging by your picture, but that's beside the point.)

you, my dear, are probably one of the last women on the planet to ever need or really have an honest reason for a boob job. I know women that would kill to have what you've got.

 

Sometimes I look at porn. But it has no affect on what I prefer as far as boobs go. I actually like them smaller. That's something generally not seen in porn.