I am scared that I will be bad at hand/blow jobs. I have never given one. I didnt kiss anyone til this summer bc I was scared Id be bad at it, and Im not at all, but I cant get over this fear! This is really pathetic! lol Anyway, I think my problem is that I dont know how you would get into it. I mean are you kissing and do you keep kissing. I jsut dont know how it works. I know this is amateur, but could someone give me some tips? lol
don't worry hon, I didn't kiss anyone til I was 16 either, or give a bj/handjob. The best solution for figuring out what to do for bj/hj's is to ask your guy to masturbate a little for you, and ask every now and then if it feels good - let him know it's your first time, and constructive feedback is always appreciated ("harder, gentler, lower," etc) as for kissing, well... it was pretty intuitive when I did it. Try not to slobber though. Make sure your lips stay on his lips, don't move around so you're half on his cheek. That's just nasty kissing (my ex did that a lot, missed my mouth during kissing, BLERG)
ahhh i was just like you.. i didn't kiss anybody until i was 16 because i was scared i'd be bad at it... and i wasn't either... as far as handjobs... it's hard to say how to do it.. let the guy guide you in how to do it. ask him how he likes to stroke his cock and watch him, then take over... you can still kiss... or kiss and lick his neck... touch anything else, his chest, thighs, your breasts... try to make it a game.. most ppl don't seem to be too upset about teaching the other person what to do, as long as they're enthusiastic about it... hope that helped
oh yeah... other body parts, thanks for reminding me tigerlily (you clever clever hottie) ehem, anywho. Yeah, rubbing your breasts against him can be great. Paying attention to his inner thighs can be as well. If you aren't afraid, you could try stimulating his perineum (skin between the balls and anus)... generally with light stroking or a little pressuer. It can be considered a no-go area for some guys, so be slow in your approach, and if he asks you to stop before you get there, that's ok. Some guys have really sensitive nipples too, so that might be another something to stimulate. I love having my back licked/kissed/touched/scratched/generally stimulated... each person has their own erogenous zones that aren't really obvious (genetalia is obvious, back isn't). You might wanna ask him what one thing reaaaally drives him crazy.
I'd say just do what feels right, it's intuitive as ihmurria said. Besides, I doubt it would be hard to tell if he was enjoying it or not.
I was like that when I was younger... I was always afraid that I wouldnt do anything right so I didnt do anything at all...to be quite honest and not that I am proud of this, but the first time I kissed someone was when I was kinda drunk ( NOT TELLING YOU TO DO THIS!!!!!) so it made it so I didnt care how I was at it... then afterwards, I never had any fears again. SO what im saying is that you just stop worrying about it, it will just come naturally. and about the handjobs and blowjobs...if your not a pro, your not a hoe. which is a good thing, so dont be afraid to ask him what he likes.
Just don't get carried away. It is a delicate area. Teeth can be somewhat to very painful. Friction sans lubrication can go a long way - way too far. With a dash of Care, Heaven on Earth isn't that hard to Give...
Most people don't know how to give good handjobs. I think that one important secret of handjobs is to move (with your forefinger & thumb) the skin on a guy's shaft down toward his base [where the balls & the base of the shaft meet] just as the guy thrusts up. Start with your fingers just below the head of his penis, and stretch his skin down toward his balls. He'll like it so much that he'll thrust up in time with your stretching the skin down. You'll get into a great rhythm -- as he thrusts up, you shove down. (If you want to suck him as your hands are doing this, then he'll get a great combo hand-blowjob.) Good luck.
Frankly, I don't think that this should be an issue for you while you're still in high school. If you are so worried about something like this, to me, it is only proof that you lack the maturity at this point to even be HAVING sex. That is not meant to be derogatory. It's just a fact. You are too young, and the focus of your concern betrays that fact. (Someone mature enough to be having sex is not concerned that their handjob/blowjob is not going to be good enough.) And besides, anyone worth being with is going to be sensitive to your inexperience, and will be willing to spend the time with you, however long it takes, until the two of you learn how to please each other. If I am any kind of indication, then chances are that your guy would not mind terribly if your blowjob was not the best he'd ever had (and has he in fact ever had any?). For many guys, any attention in that respect is really enjoyable unless it is an irritant (like too much biting or something, or excessively hard rubbing). I don't think it's terribly responsible of folks here to be giving a 16-year-old advice about how to engage in sexual activity that she is clearly too young for. Why don't you wait a couple of years, Amanda? You will KNOW in two or three years how much less mature you were at this point, when you are looking back on it then. You'd probably end up thanking me. Concentrate on your schoolwork and building your future. Now is the time for that. Sex can come later -- and it will be with guys FAR more mature than the high-schoolers who are just a bag of skin and hormones right now. -Jeffrey
jeffrey - these days, more 16 year olds have had sex than not. Frankly, I'm glad that she's asking for help from an outside source, rather than simply going in and having the guy tell her what to do, and what she -should- be doing in a relationship. I researched bj's as well, before I ever performed one. There's nothing wrong with being knowledgeable about a subject. oh yeah... clitical.com has some great articles on relationships and sex, they're a great resource
hehe that reminds me of the advice i got from a gay friend in highschool about how to give bj's and hj's.... crazy stuff, he gave me advice from himself, but he didn't have much experience, so he printed off a bunch of stuff off of a gay website... hehe, i wanted to be prepared for when i was ready to actually go for it
Well, jeffrey (and everyone) I really appreciate all of the advice. I think Ive dcidecd to wait a little longer though bc I dont really think Im ready. I have done everything thats not bellow the waist. But, actually getting back to the drunk think, my friend said that I should just get drunk (still know whats going on, but be a little looser) and then do it (when I feel Im ready) and then If its bad, just say, "well, i was drunk". Also, hes never had a bj just a handie, so he is not a connaisoir. (wow, cant spell that lol) Anyway, I know that I personally need to wait a little while, maybe a year or so, or whenever I think Im ready. But Im glad I have some sort of idea now(and am a little less scared lol) Peace love and laughter Amanda
