i regret my abortion

i had it early december. i went back late december to find it hadn't worked. i had another one, this time they put me to sleep and took it out of me. i wish i still had my baby.

i can never forgive myself for killing it. i want to die. does anyone know how i'm feeling?????????????????????

 

its probly better you feel this way than having the child and wishing you would have had an abortion

 

Lillyblu, I haven't had that experience, but you may want to get some counseling as soon as possible...sounds like you're really down about the situation, and that is not a good place to be...good luck, perhaps some of the other ladies have more words of wisdom than I do...but, please consider getting in to talk to someone FAST...no good going through this alone...

 

Lillyblue you might want to contact a local branch o le leche leaders they can give you come help also check out Mothering.com they have some good issues on how you are feeling

 

Should've thought about it more before you had it then. And actually, I'm all for abortions. But come on...you didn't think about it before you went? Give me a break.

 

Dont jump on her, it says nowhere that she didnt think about it...

Regret and afterthought is completely natural after such a huge decision...I mean, when you consider it, with such a big fork in the road so to speak, a beautiful human being can only do the thing they think is the right way...and if you thought this was the right way...then it is, sister.

Trust in life. One day, you will be given a beautiful child in a time where you can be the best mother that you have the ability to be.

 

What would make you say something like that? You sound like a 12 year old brat who has no idea what you are talking about. Get a life.

Lilly, I have never been in this situation, but from what I understand this is a very common feeling. Check out http://www.afterabortion.com/ ... they have a lot of information and lots of people to talk to. Quite a few women on the board have talked about their abortions here so you might want to do a search and PM someone who has been where you are.

 

you made a huge and life changing decision. you're not the first o feel so awful about it. my mother's friend is still in counseling for hers. my mother had an ectopic pregnancy that she terminated, and for a woman who adores chidren like she does, it's still horrible and that was over 20 years ago. do't try to down play how you feel about it, abortion is HUGE. seek counseling. you may need medical care for your feelings as well. i can't tell you it's gonna be okay, this is your feelings and saying that would be insulting. but you need someone to help you through this.

 

Haha...ydnim, maybe I do sound like a 12-year-old brat, but as far as knowing what I'm talking about, I honestly don't understand how you can do something as drastic as have an abortion and then say you regret it. It just seems like a huge thing to feel regret about. I wouldn't make a decision like that unless I was 100% sure that's what I wanted. I can definitely understand feeling ill about it, feeling depressed or just shitty all together about it, but I guess I just feel it comes down to...did you want a kid or not? Having an abortion is something you definitely have the right to feel terrible about afterwards, but regret is such a huge emotion. I just don't get how it can play in to something this big.

Ok, I did sound harsh in my previous post. I'm too blunt sometimes. I apologize, and hope that whatever pain the original poster is going through is healed somehow.

 

we're all too blunt sometimes. i know i come across bitchy when i have no intention of doing so. lol. i forgive you, for what it's worth. bluntness, however, definitely has it's place.

 

Just one thing. PLEASE DO NOT CALL LA LECHE LEAGUE!!! They are NOT allowed to get involved in the choice/life issue. You will really put the leader on the spot, and if it is brougt up at a meeting, it will be shut down by a good leader. I've had to shut down meetings where this issue is brought up.

La Leche League is a SINGLE ISSUE GROUP. It is not about Home Schooling, or vaccinating or abortion. It is for breastfeeding and breastfeeding alone.

I think the healing from abortion group might be better.

I just need to ask one question. I have never heard of an abortion "not working." What method did they use the first time that failed, if you don't mind answering.


Heal, you made the best decision with the way you were feeling at the time. Don't beat yourself up about it. I know too many mothers who wished they had done what you did, when they had originally wanted to end the pregnancy and were pursuaded not to, only to end up not being able to mother, and resenting the poor child, who grew up unwanted. You did what you needed to, moving on is the best choice at this point. You can't change the past.

Heal, sister.

 

Lillyblu

You need to get support and have someone you can talk to. The decision is a done deal but you have not finished with it, in you, yet.
Please find some support for you.

 

no it is not she could have given it up for adoption sure it still hurts but the feeling is not at all the same

 

{{{Hugs}}} lillyblu. I don't know what else to say that hasn't been said already from the heartfelt, helpful posts here.

But you have my love, sympathy, and I wish you much healing sweetheart.

 

As for making a decision you regret, do not beat yourself up for it!!! Whoever says that you didn't clearly think it through does not know what they are talking about. I always said that I could never have an abortion (even if I wasn't ready to have a baby) but if I was ever actually put in that position I would not know what to do because that is one of the toughest decisions a woman may have to make. You can think it through until you're blue in the face and still wonder if you did the right thing. I mean, come on, haven't we all made a decision that we thought was right only to regret it later (like giving your virginity away to the dreamiest guy only to find out later that he was a complete asshole! ) Anyway, you just have to trust in your heart and put your faith in the universe that you did do the right thing....and as others have stated, talk to a professional and give yourself time to heal.

 

Yeah I know. Haha, thanks for the forgiveness.

 

lillyblue,
I know just what you are going through. I had my abortion about 5 yrs ago, and I just missed carried a few months ago. I was fine with the abortion, until I lost my baby. If you ever need anyone to talk to, I am here. I know you don't know me, but sometimes that is what you need.

 

Ok, Sweetie. First think you need to realize is that you are not over the abortion yet, i don't think anyone at this point would be. It has only been two months, a short time after making a hard decision. Focus on moving forward. You need to sort out your feelings.

I have been there before myself, about 5 years ago. Afterwards I remember being very confused and unsure about my feelings, and I wasn't really sure where to go from there. I remember actually craving a baby as well, but came to the realization that wishing things had turned out differently didn't change the reality of the situation I was in. For myself, don't regret the procedure, but I regret getting pregnant when I wasn't ready in the first place.

Life goes on, and we can't be left behind. Punishing yourself doesn't do any good. Take care of yourself, and get yourself the help you need to understand and sort out your feelings so you can move on. Our lives only get better if we let it.

 

The opposite of Buyer's Remorse.

 

I agree, there is a time and a place for bluntness, but when you are speaking to someone who has just said they don't want to live, is not the time. Everyone feels differently about abortion so it is easy to get upset when people feel differently than you do.