Im new to these forums and well kinda joined them only for this post to get some real advice and so that no one really knows who I am so I don't have to worry about what I say. Please dont leave dumb comments like wow you suck or something because I don't need to hear that right now. Also not sure If I am posting this in the right area. As you can see im 18 (from the side) I recently turned 18 and am now out of high school. I went my whole high school with out a girl friend and this has really bothered me. I didn't want a girl friend untill my senior year though but I spent most of my senior year actually out of school and no one really stood out to me at my school anyways. Im also still a V but I have turned down some girls because well because they seemed kinda slutty to me. Now its hitting me hard where im getting pretty depressed and have a hard time just getting up in the morning it takes me about 3-4 hours to actually get out of bed. I have no real way of meeting girls and I dont know how. Im a shy kid and well not very confident in my looks even though I have been told im not a bad lookin guy but I guess that means im also not a "good" looking one as well. Im not looking for a one night stand im looking for a girl friend someone that would love me back. The main problem is that I don't know how to meet girls. Im not sure what to do I do tend to go to some huge parties a couple times a month at my friends house but its usually like 65% guys there so the odds are not in my favor. I don't know what else to say. I go to a local college and all my classes are male dominant and there is a lot of older women. My local mall sucks as well for meeting girls. Then recently I did started to kinda crush on this one girl in one of my classes so I asked her if she wanted to do something sometime and well she gave me her number and seemed really happy that I asked but she seemed to always be out of town when i gave her a call or something. So I gave up on her and removed her number from my phone. What im kind of wondering is what should I do to make my self more appealing to girls so that they would approach me more often because I'm a really shy and quiet kid. Or what should I do to try and meet girls? I did have a friend of mine trying to help me but she recently made a very stupid decision in her life and ran away pretty much to of all places Iowa. Now Im just wondering when is it my turn to meet someone because Im not very experinced and I dont want to turn out to be some loser with out a girl for much longer. Any advice would be much appreciated.
honestly the biggest turn on is confidence. not being over-confident, but just liking who you are and being comfrotable in your own skin and waht do you mean you dont have any real way to meet women? (once theyre over 18 they arent "girls" anymore btw). you sound like youre in post-secondary, so you have an opportunity in each of yoru classes. you can join school clubs and gain more contacts there. you could hang out in coffee shops on campus at peak times and if someone has to sit with you, it might be a woman who you hit it off with. not to mention tehres the internet filled with free dating sites if youre interested. thats how ive met most of my bfs, including the current one who i plan on marrying
Dude, first of all. try to distinguish yourself from the crowd somehow. Dont try hard but see what you can do. Dont try being someone you are not, go easy and dont be nervous. The tenser you are the more you will screw up. Women are humans, some of them think they are hot shit but thats their problem. And dont be afraid to approach a girl and just ask her to go to movies, dinner or some other easy going activity. Also, if you have a skill or a hobby, try to be really good at it, people notice you if you excel at something. Bottom line, be confident in yourself, go up to a girl and just talk. Whats the worst that can happen, she says NO??? if so she can go fuck herself, she is not for you in that case anyhow. A nice girl will either take you up on your offer, or say that she is too busy, which means that she doesnt fancy you, in which case it probably would not work out anyhow, which is fine, not everyone is comatable. out of 10 girls you talk to, I am more than sure 4 will follow, and if you work on your approach, that number will go up with time. Not every girl you meet or go out with will end with a bang or some relationship. I know that you want to screw anything that walks, but trust me, you may meet some interesting people and stay friends evven if you dont screw them. Being social is the key. Oh and with age, things get easier. 18 year olds are still kids, and dont know shit about anything in life or how to enjoy it. Good luck.
go to a place where you will meet a girl with the same interests (concert is a good one for example ,as a girl that you find at a concert you want to be at as well, might listen to the same music and have similar interests as you). Or as earlier mentioned, extracurricular activities from school or other groups that you are interested in. Just look for the girls that are 1.) single (this is the hardest part. its hard to find a girl who isnt with a million of her friends or with her boyfriend). If shes solo then thats the best you can ask for. If shes with a few friends then its usually better to have atleast one buddy along with you. and also 2.) You think you would get along well....look at her clothes...the people shes with, etc. You can tell a lot about what a girl is like by scoping them out first lol......Go up to them and give them complements, they love it. Simple as that. Complements, small talk and humour and let her do the rest. And after that if she doesnt seem interested thank her for her time and move on. Internet dating is also a good place to find people, but it canbe awkward in the begginning unless you have a lot in common or have lots of chemistry...the main ingredient
Jesk - join a social club at the college where you vcan meet girls and get to know them while pursuing something of interest to both of you that the club does. Find a girl you are comfortable with, and ask her out for a coffee date after the social club meeting ends. Listen to what she has to say and take an interest in it. Then ask her out on a real date. At 18, most guys are concerned about their looks - too skinny (that was me), pimples, too fat, glasses (that was me too), not a good athlete, skin too dark (or too light), penis not big enough (almost all guys think this). Don't fret it - you are still growing and maturing, and so are the women you will be dating. Take a chance. PM me if you want more personal advice.
Well thanks for the advice I am hearing a lot about joining a college club or something like that. Well the problem with that is the semester is nearly over all ready and I am not sure if joining now would be a good idea or if i even could. Someone also mentioned Coffee houses or something like that on campus well my campus does have some but they are more of like to go kinda places because its a smaller college. I do suppose I could do more of my studying on campus in the library or something and that could always open up some doors. Also on a side note I don't even like coffee... lol
coffee shops also serve hot chocolate and tea. jeez, just cuz theiyre called a coffee shop doesnt mean that they only sell coffee then join a club in term two if youre worried about this one . but stop pussyfooting about it, and dont kepe giving yourself excuses not to. dont let you talk yourself otu of it,b ecause thats exactly waht youre starting to do with these excuses
It's tough to meet people man. Trust me, I know. I have all the confidence in the world in myself when it comes to relationships, but if you can't meet anyone, it doesn't do you any good. Meeting people is something I have struggled with, so I don't really have much advice there. I think it just takes being an active person and putting yourself out there... there is no real trick to it. I think you should focus not on meeting a great girl, because like I said, that's tough for anyone... instead, you should focus on molding yourself into what you want to be. What would make you confident in yourself? What kind of sex symbol can you picture yourself as? Would being the front man of your own band give you the confidence you need? What about developing your strength or athletic ability? Become a bad ass dude. If you are a bad ass, you will like yourself, and you won't even worry about having a girlfriend. And once you're in that kind of headspace, the girls will FLOCK to you.
You just have to get them drunk dude. Get a chick who's insecure over to your place, and watch some movies. Get a big bottle of vodka, and pour her drinks splitting it 50/50 with cranberry juice. Maybe more juice than 50/50 if she bitches about it. Share a blanket. Then make your move. When I was 15 I had a chick on a bus give me a bj cause she wanted to practice on someone before she really needed to know how to do it. The world is your oyster.
Hey mate. Don't worry your turn will come. Don't rush things. youll meet her. But i am with allonym. You need more confidence.
