I think I'm doing the right thing...

Sorry if this is a little long. My ex boyfriend and I still are pretty close... you know, "friends with benefits" and stuff. Lately I've been noticing how mean and demanding he is, and a lot of the time I feel like i have to do what he says or he'll stop speaking to me and find a way to make all of our friends dislike me. Last night we went out and got pretty drunk. By the time we walked home, I was sober, but no one else (I fell asleep early on).

The other boy and girl with us walked back to the boy's room, and my ex asked if I wanted to stay with him. I never get a good night's sleep over there, so I said I'd get some water and think about it. Once at his place, he turned on a dvd to fall asleep to (I HATE doing that), so I said I'd see him in the morning. Because I didn't want to sleep there, he decided that I was a "picky bitch", and I told him calling me a bitch wouldn't help anything.

So I started walking to my dorm room, and he called and convinced me to come back. I turned off the dvd and tried to sleep, but he wouldn't give me any room to lay down other than plastered against his back. Also, his roommate was going to be getting up in a few hours, I couldn't sleep at all, and felt really terrible for giving in and coming back to him. He was passed out by this point, so I just got up and went home (this was about 4 AM).

Today I haven't come over to his place to get my book for logic class this morning (I slept through it anyway), and I haven't talked to him at all. I think I'm starting to actually realize that I can't keep doing everything he wants, because that just makes me feel like crap in the end. The way he treats me sometimes almost seems abusive, and I'm very tired of it. Am I being unreasonable, or do I actually have grounds to think of myself as the "victim" (something he accuses me of doing all the time and makes me feel guilty about)? I need some good advice.

~Nova

 

He is not your friend! Simple and you know it already. He is beating you just the same if he was using his fists, just his attacks are on your mind and emotions. Cut him loose.

 

Yeah, cut him loose. Right away.
Start thinking about what YOU want and go for it. You don't need him. He loses!
You win.

 

he's just using you
and you're letting hiim get away with it at the moment

sever ties with him, I think distance sounds like the best thing for you guys

 

Oh come off it with the victimized status. Unfortunately I have been with a partner who was unable to voice his opinions and it most definitely takes two to crumble.

I hope you'll be able to take responsibility for your actions (or lack of them) and have the decency to admit that you were in the wrong as well. And like the others have said, cut him loose. Don't blame others for making you do anything, it has always been YOUR choice if it's been like this recent episode in the past. YOU will continue to be walked all over if you let people walk all over you. Know that the majority of the population functions this way. You're not a child (in a dorm?), so start acting like an adult and be more assertive.

 

You're just a booty call, honey.
Tell him to fuck off. Don't hang on to something that isn't there.

 

NO way are you being unreasonable!!!

He is THE one who is bang out of order, and YOU shouldn't give into him or do what he wants you to do.
In my opinion, YOU are better off without him. If he cares about you that much, he would be understanding, and treat you with more respect.
He doesn't deserve you at all, and if I were you, i'd just dump him and walk away.

You deserve better than that, and there are plenty of other guys out there who could treat you a damn sight better than him!!!