I have been depressed for the last week and it seemed like normal depression. Until yesterday, when something extremely strange happened. Out of nowhere, I started shouting at my fiance about how much he was pissing me off. Then I hung up on him. Later that night, I was crying and really depressed when suddenly I stopped crying and a rage just completely took over and it was like I was watching myself but had no control. My fiance was on the phone w/ me at the time and he said that he could hear in my voice a shift or mood swing or whatever is going on. It's like all of this anger or rage builds and the slightest thing can set it off- I make a typo and I want to fucking slam my keyboard, a book or some papers happens to fall and I throw them across the room. I can't control it and now these rages are lasting longer and longer. I see my doctor tomorrow, I saw a therapist today, but I am still really scared, especially since the "therapist" didn't help me by explaining what the fuck is going on with my head. She wasn't even a therapist yet as she was a PhD student. I am still depressed between the episodes of rage, which makes me feel worse. I feel like there is something seriously wrong with me mentally and I don't know what to do. I still have classes to keep up with and work to deal w/ when I can hardly take care of my basic needs. I feel like I'm falling apart and there's nothing I can do. Need advice, anything you can give me b/c I feel like I'm self-destructing BIG time now. Peace and love
I hate to be repetitive, but are you getting enough sunlight? Most people don't this time of year. When someone like yourself is especially sensitive, this can be the straw that breaks the camel's back. Just remember anger and hate belong to your human mind. Your spirit has no such qualities. Choose what you wish to identify with. Practice makes perfect here. x
I'm kinda like you, when I feel depressed, next thing I know is that I'm full of rage and anger for absolutely no reason. Someone suggested to me that I might have biopolar, maybe you do so. But I'm not sure, go see a doctor to make sure.
I know I'm bipolar; there's no question about that. But what the fuck is going on? How do I control this shit? This isn't normal for anyone. Something is seriously wrong and I don't know what to do to keep me from losing control. Guess the doctor will have an answer- I can only hope. Peace and love
I think there are a lot of possible explanations; built up stress, a nutritional deficiency, substance withdrawal, repressed abuse memories, only you and your Dr. can determine what it is, but whatever the underlying cause, you probably need to find a healthy outlet for it. Find some soft inanimate object, lock yourself in a room with it, and beat the living crap out of it! That should at least help a little until you can figure out what's going on.
My dad's side of my family has a lot of rage issues, and guess what, I got it too. I grew out of it over time. However, it took a lot of practice to control it. Sometimes violent acts is all you can think of, well... let me tell you what I did and if it helps, awesome! Alright, first things first... after putting about a dozen of so holes in my walls from punching my fist through the drywall (not to mention broken fingers, don't punch studs!) Anyway, I went out and bought a 80lb punching bag and hung it in my basement, whenever I had the urge to be violent I'd just go to the bag and punch it until my hands got raw. The pain and intensity that results from going at a 80lb bag for a while really relieves a lot of tension. Second thing I did, and this is the "corny" part, counting off ten deep breaths and thinking of something that's calming or soothing to you in some way. It could be the warmth of your mothers hug, or a cool breeze on a hot day.. whatever works for you. But you really have to focus on just that sensation/feeling alone, don't let anything else in your head, and BREATH deep and steady. Oxygen will calm you down. Hope that helps. Love + Respect
Im in exactly the same situation I hate myself for shouting and being so horrible to my fiancé. I cry for no reason. My patience is so thin and i have no control over it. Ive had other symptoms for about a year though and for me its a case of good rest, good food (and plenty of it) a few medications for an infection i have (to help make me feel better) and being active. Its slow progress but im getting there I feel for you and hope you feel better really soon
It just randomly appeared for a couple days and then disappeared. I am still easily irritated, but not to the extreme I was earlier. It was probably due to a mixed episode, which I am still feeling the effects of the mood swings- I'll see how I feel over the weekend, b/c that's when it gets the worst. I don't have rage problems- I haven't been like that for over 3 years, before I was properly diagnosised. It was like something else was taking over me- guess that's the damn chemicals. Peace and love
