im a tad bit confused..i need you guys' help?

its about this guy....

 

let him know you like him and save him the hard work.

 

just walk in front of him and bend over...trust me, he'll fall head over heels.

 

its kinda more complicated than that...wanna help me out?

 

Can you give me some more information?

 

uh like you just keep saying,, its about this guy

what is he stalking you? do you like him?

are you a troll?

 

Don't be so elaborate next time...

 

okay well, this guy, my friend asked me out December of last yr And I think I messed up. one day we were in class ( seniors in hs, but just graduated) and we were talking about something and he said something like this girl was pretty ( I already liked him before he asked me out) and I was like okay well Sam do you like white girls ? and he looked down for a long time smiling, then he looked up at me and was like ' I like any type of people, Amanda I like you, would you go on a date with me? and he asked me out infront of a group of friends and everyone was like awwww! would you go..would you? and I just sat there surprised because I didn't know if he was serious or not...he kept asking and I never said yes or no so he looked down and was like' alright I stop asking her before she gets angry. '

so the next week my friend talked to him about it and he told her he would talk to me but he never did so the next night after a basketball game I went up to him and I was like when. you asked me out were you serious? and he looked at me for awhile and shyly nodded and he said ' did I make you angry? and I was like no you didn't, and he continued..and was like, ' I talk about you all the time' and his friend came over, and took my hand and he was like so this is Amanda, its nice to meet you, then he got down on one knee infront of me. I was planning on asking him about the date but I was really happy with what had happened that I just didn't think about it so him and his friends walked away.

now this was the week before winter break..I went up to him around all his friends (which was a mistake) and I was like do you still wanna go out..and he was like no your mean to me, but he was smiling at me and laughing with his friends...he was about to say something else but he kept trying to introduce me to his friends while we were Walking and so I was about to walk the other way so I was like yes or no? and he looked at me and was like never! then he started laughing and walking with his friend. then the next day he acted like it never happened, flirting with me like he usually did...

so two weeks went by for winter break and when we came back we were in class, he looked over at me with his eyes kinda sleepy looking but not really and says 'amanda, did you have a good break' and I was like yeah and asked him the same...then after that he looked down and was like..'I haven't seen you in so long..'.why did he look DOWN?


so a few days later my friend tells me that he already talks to someone...and I'd seen her before.she. used to stand out infront of class with him and his other friends but I never thought anything of it..so she shows me the girls Facebook and she talks about her and the guy that asked me out going to dinner, the mall, chilling at her house watching movies, and going to prom and whatever. so I text him about it...pretty much saying why I hesitated to him asking me out and just letting him know what was up. then he responds by saying well, I'm talking to someone now..real sorry. and I was like cool..still wanna be friend tho and he was like yeah, I miss you... so this was in January...and I would see him around after that from time to time around school and I saw him at prom with that girl and I sat directly behind him @ graduation..( how ironic )..I talked to him basically the whole day the day before graduation..and the day of, he didn't even acknowledge me spool..I know this is a lot but what do you think about all this..?? I really need some insight so I can move on

 

Maybe this guy likes you or maybe he just wants to be friends.Whatever...Don't fuss over it and maybe don't try and contrive what may or may not happen.You all sound so young so maybe no one is sure what they really want at that age...And people are afraid of showing what they really feel...But you may want some closure...Maybe try and chat to him and sound him out...If you can ask him straight up "Do want to go out" and then take that response as the final answer and it's either "yes" or "no" and move on,with him or without him.

 

do you think I messed it up by not replying when he asked me out? and why when I was talking to him @ the basketball game, his friend came over and got on bended knee infront of me. ?

 

Unfortunately once a thing is said it's said.Once a thing is done it's done.In real life we can't pause and rewind the film of our lives,although we can in our minds.When will you see him again? It's best not to lament mistakes we have made in relationships,but try to learn for next time.

 

If I asked I girl out and she did not reply I would move on and not waste another minute with her. IT is pretty simple to say yes or no.

 

yeah I know I messed it up, but he's the type of person that likes to joke around and when he asked me out, it was outta nowhere. you think he was kinda mad @ me b/c I didn't respond.??

 

I won't sugarcoat this, it's possible BUT I should let you know that guys can be just as cruel as girls can be sometimes.

Sometimes a guy wants the reputation of being able to attract a girl, just for the status of being able to do it.

Other times guys are really sincerely into a girl for a few months, but from a biological perspective they want sex and they'll move on if that's not happening. Regardless this is a very dangerous path and I don't endorse this at all because feelings get hurt and possibly the law gets involved and then the whole town knows.

Then there are those other types of guys who are like old souls and are while biologically young, are looking for real relationships.

---
Case in point, it's impossible to tell which of scenarios apply to your situation.

I think it's a bit of a mix of all 3, but I'm willing to bet that he probably did mean it sincerely, and being young didn't know how to wait for your reply.

Guys kind of want direct answers and don't always know how to read subtle behavior (eye movements, body shifting) as positive or negative.

At least he was straight with you, when he kind of said he was with someone else. I suggest having a one on one talk with him in private, without public pressure of other's eyes.

Otherwise let it go and move on with your life.

 

What she ^ said.

 

why would he ask me out...if he was talking to someone...and the thing is he had BEEN talking to this girl wayy before he asked me out...?

 

Ah that's something that wasn't cleared up.

Look the intention behind wanting to talk to someone, is just that, to clear the air of confusion. (Not to establish a relationship).

I know some guys, are advised by other people (guys or girls) to go and date someone else, to make the one they really want to be with jealous.

(THIS IS HORRIBLE advice and leads to middle school and high school drama but it might explain your situation perfectly)

Just get a moment alone with him and tell him honestly how you were confused, and that you were in shock which is why he didn't get a yes or no answer super fast if indeed he was serious. And establish what both of you expect out of the relationship (does he expect sex or no, are you both STD/STI free according to medical tests?)

 

thanks, but I doubt he did it to make the other jealous....

I think and feel he had genuine feelings but it just wasn't right I guess. and I keep going over it in my head b/c I messed it up by not responding to his question.

 

Point is you don't know for sure why he did what he did.

Advice: stop over analyzing it, because it will drive you insane and make you depressed from living your life. And you didn't mess up anything, what will happen will happen because it's meant to be or not meant to be.


If you are going to think about anything, dwell on your own reaction and try to find methods of coping when a guy admits they like you. Try to find a way to handle it honestly but in a cool and classy way.

I'm a guy, and I'll admit when i was in middle school and early high school I also had to over come the whole (shock) of becoming aware that someone was crushing on me. When I got older it became more of a smooth art to handle those situations when my intention was to be honest about it and minimize the emotional ups and downs for all involved.

 

revolutionary

IRT this thread: ya you fucked up. You didn't tell the poor guy what's up even 3 weeks later. Do you think it was easy for him to confess (infront of ppl nonetheless)? If it's any consolidation, he prolly just found someone hotter and decided he didn't want to leave her for you, so perhaps he wasn't the perfect guy for you.

Next time don't say nothing "because I was really happy with what happened lollol<3" His life doesn't revolve around you. It fucking shouldn't and I don't care if you're the girl sometimes y'all need to man the fuck up and make some efforts towards starting relationships.