I'm having an "aw shit" moment...

Ok, I wouldn't call this a crisis, but then I would at the same time....
As most of you here know, I'm currently going to college. So far, things have been going well....I have the top marks in 2 of my classes and the third one...English....I'm pretty high up there, but that one is a damn hard course...
Anywho, most of you also probably know that my goal is to become an RN and then a midwife, like 15 years later. I am about 98% sure that is exactily what I want to do...I mean, it's hard to be 100% sure...you always have that "what if" fairey flying around in your head.
Well, I've been thinking lately about how long I'm going to have to be in school....including the upgrading I'm currently doing, 6 years.
Now, I really want to have more kids. Roughly 3-4 more. And I want them all to be born close together. I'm trying to figure out how the heck I would make this work.
I mean, if I go to school for 6 years, then I would obviously have to work for a couple after, putting me at about 28-29 years old. Ok...but then I'd have to take roughtly 10 years off until they're all ready for school in order for me to go back to work. Yeah, good luck getting a job again after being out of it for 10 years.

Ideally, I would be a SAHM. That's my dream.
It would be possible for me to just be an LPN (Licensed Practical Nurse), work for a year or two until Cody is done University (he's upgrading with me right now, and then he's going to university for 4 years, so he's going to school for a total of 6 years as well), and then by the time I'm 25 we can start having more kids. And that also gives me a little time to figure out of nursing is what i really want to do, since the LPN course is only 10 months and the RN is 4 years. I would also get paid to do the LPN course, where as the RN would put me $250 000 in the hole.
If I were to do the LPN thing, then I could easily work part time and primarily be a SAHM. But then I start thinking that I've given up on the job that i really want to do. But what's more important...working a job you like...or may not....or be able to have kids and stay at home watching and helping them grow? Obviously the latter of the two.

Oy, I'm so stuck. Cody was saying that I could do the LPN thing, and then stay at home with the kids until they're all in their teens and then go back to university to become an RN if that really is what I wanted to do.
But at the same time, I think that I could be really miserable as an LPN.

This is so hard to make the decision about whether or not you should be a SAHM, work part time, or go after your dream job, but then give up any chance of ever having kids...and if you do, throwing them into daycare (*shudders*)....

I think what I'm looking for is some input from an outsider right now. I really feel stuck........it's like this is all just jumbled up in my head right now and none of it is making any sence....

thanks for the people who took the time to read this

 

I would have stayed home with the kids, hands down, no contest.


And wow, becoming a nurse in Canada is a lot more expensive than here. Is there a nursing shortage there? We wouldnt have any nurses here if it cost 250,000. In the US, one can work as an LPN while completing the other other year to become an RN.

 

No advice really, but good luck with whatever you decide.

 

good luck with what you decide!! career should come first than the kids

 

this

 

I put it just the opposite....The way I see it, Kirsten, I have MY WHOLE LIFE to get a degree. My brain won't shut down at 30, it's not going to rot out of my head. However, my uterus has a time-limit. My energy levels to keep up with a toddler/pre-schooler only lasts for so long.

So, as far as I'm concerned, school comes second to babies. If I can't pull off a couple of classes AND parent Moire (and any future siblings), then I'll drop the classes.

And then, when all is said and done, I'll go to Uni and get my degree.

 

Are there night classes? You stay at home with the little one during the day while your S.O works, and then at night you go to school for a couple hours and he stays home with her. Would that work?

There are options besides daycare. My good friend had twins in May, and is planning on taking a few kids in next year. So, its not the 30+ kids like a daycare, and I know and trust the woman in charge of them. If I ever needed to leave Mandred with someone during the day I know she would take wonderful care of him. Would you consider something like that?

There are also "Grandma's" who come in to babysit. I know myself and my sisters all had a babysitter come to our house in the morning to stay with us while our parent's worked. I am actually still in contact with my "Grandma Cooper" who babysat me for over 5 years. Would a situation like that be okay with you?

Good luck with whatever you decide, and remember to think outside the box!

 

Take it easy and don't stress on figuring out all the details. You've got most of life ahead of you. Stay home with your kids and get some education at whatever pace works with your family.

 

holly, that's kinda funny...I got the EXACT same advice from a friend of mine at school last week....I was thinking the same thing, too. I told Cody this morning that education is not going to run out, but my conception time is...
The only reason I would like to go back right now, and why I'm at least thinking about the LPN thing is that Cody is in school for the next 6 years, and we really can't afford to have anymore kids...it goes beyond me not being able to work. We're living on a government grant to go back to school and they only allow $200/month to be made on top of the scarse amount we already get. So basically, I have a few years here that I wouldn't really be able to do much.
I have thought about staying at home with Leane again, but sadily, she's liking the dayhome more than she likes being here with me. I'm not kidding....she cries when I have to take her home and reaches back out for the other kids. :s
So yeah, I'm still going to get my high school dimploma....but regarding what to do after....it's really stumping me.
Cody is 100% behind me in which ever option I want to go with. The way he put it today, is that I have the option of staying at home, seeing my kids grow up, taking cheap vacations and living somewhat modestly.....or going back for years of school, possibly not having anymore kids, missing the childhood of those I do have, going on lavish vacations and living really comfortably.
Now, hands down, I really want to stay at home mom thing. I told Cody today that my dream is to be able to wake my kids up every day to go to school, get them ready, take care of the house, to the typical house chores, drive the kids all over tum-buck-two, cook everyone a huge-ass supper....and yeah, the whole mom thing. It tickels me when I think about that.
But then, Cody's not going to be pulling in that much to support more than 1 or 2 more kids by himself....so I kinda have to go back to even have the means to have more.
It's like a vicious friggin circle......oy

Icedtea...the "grandma" thing isn't really an option. I have no friends really and all her real granparents live really far away except for my mom, who works at the college I go to.

 

Kirsten, I wish I lived near you. I'd watch your baby girl during the times you were in class. Or just be some sort of free support....

Keep going to get your high school diploma. Do what feels right. But know that you are going to make the best decision for yourself and your family, especially since your hubby really supports you. That's so great!

 

Kirsten, make sure you find out the hiring ability and wages of LPNs. Where I live, no hospital uses them anymore, they use either Med Tecs, or RNs, or Nurse Practitioners (a MS or PhD in Nursing.)

Most of the LPNs now have had to either go back for more schooling, or done something else. I know, at least in the USA, if you are going to be a Nurse Midwife you have to have at least an RN or a BSN. (Both take about 4 years study after HS.)

Talk to your school counselor, then get a newspaper, and look at hospital websites about who they hire and make sure an LPN degree wouldn't be wasted. It would suck to do all that work and not be able to get a job OR get into a Midwife program.

I dont want to cause you more stress, but you don't want to get a useless certification, either.

 

I didn't mean real Grandma's. I meant more older retired ladies in the community who now babysit. We live no where near my parent's families.. they actually live (lived) abut 5 hours away. The "Grandma's" who babysat us weren't related in any way, we just called them Grandma.

Do they have free play groups around where you live? I have started to go to one here in town... its more of a play group for the Mom's right now, as all the kids are under a year old at this group. I've met and re-met a lot of new Mom's with babies around Manny's age. It's nice to have a group of local people to talk with, bounce ideas off. A group like that might be a good place to meet friends!

As HippyFreak said.. if we didn't live a province apart, I would totally take Leanne in... or at least introduce you to a couple Grandma's I know!

 

I can second that one...I do medical staffing in our area, and most LPNS are found nursing homes, but they are next to nil at hospitals and other facilities. There are a few Dr offices that use them, and the community services board, but not very often. Would hate to see someone waste their time on a degree that they cannot even use much.

 

In Canada, or at least Saskatchewan, LPN's are all over the place.

 

Absolutely! Those years just fly by much too quickly!

Don't give up on your dream Kirstyn. Where there's a will, there's a way.

 

Icetea--thanks for that..I blanked on the fact that we are in totally different areas!! LOL It may very well be totally different up there as to what nurses are used more.

 

You guys are really sweet *big hugs for everyone*

Yeah, at the college I'm going to now, there's an LPN program, and there's 100% (!!!) job placement....they're in massive demand here.
I talked to the councillor (sp?) at the school today, and in a way, she thinks that the LPN thing is not a bad idea at all. There's an integrated course through the university here specifically for LPN's wishing to become RN's, so I can do that later whenever I wish.
I still don't know what I'm going to do....one minute I'm thinking that I'll just do the RN thing....I'd have to wait that long to have more kids anyway....why not use the time I have? But then I think that it would be harder that way because I'd be taking to much time to stay at home with all the bebes, which is a definate. There's no way I'm having more kids just to dump them in daycare....I feel bad enough that i had to do that to Leane....
I might be jumping the gun a little much here....I still have till next June until I'm finished the upgrading...that's a year and a half....at least after that, I'll have the marks to do anything I want and my diploma.
It feels good to at least be doing that and finishing what I left undone for so long. It actually helps to make me feel like I'm FINALLY closing this chapter in my life....when I was just finishing grade 12, I dropped out and moved in with Cody and was so depressed that I stayed in our apartment, hardly working or anything, for 2 years. I have felt like I've been stuck in the "grade 12 state of mind," if that makes any sense. I'm finally moving on, and that feels so good.
Bah....this is so hard....it's like my whole life is sitting here in front of me saying, "make a decision that will change the rest of your life," and it's like, "WHOA!" Cody told me that I have to stop trying to plan out my life like a road map and just breathe, taking it one day at a time. But it's so hard to do that...I have to have things planned out, you know?

Oh, and Maggie, I had a side question here for you quickly...I was looking at job postings for the hospitals here yesterday for both RNs and LPNs, and when I looked at an RN post for labour and delivery, it said that they wanted a midwivery background.......that really stummped me. I don't know whether or not you would be able to help me out with this....why would a midwife go from that to nursing....? I'm wondering if it is because the midwives here cannot legally practice yet, they have to work under the title of an RN....any thoughts?

 

i'm going to just throw this out there.. my mom is an LVN (same thing as an LPN) and has had no problem finding work in southern cali, hawaii and here in west texas. she actually works with moms and babies right now in a hospital. and at her hospital they actually offer to pay for your schooling if you want to become an RN and it's only two years i think to do it. i know things can be different in different areas, but keep in mind that the medical field is always looking for people, even if "just" an LPN. btw, why do you think you would hate being an LPN? are you looking into doing management/charge nurse stuff? or is it just the money? also, a good thing about nursing (for my mom anyway, she has a 5 yr old right now) is that you work 12 hr shifts so you can have more days off during the week... i believe this is the norm for LPNs or RNs, so you can do your SAHM stuff more easily if you do some kind of nursing.... i'm also pretty sure you can be part time as a nurse right? you don't HAVE to work 40 hrs a week.

anyway, good luck

 

yup, there's part time work here too, as well as 12 hour shifts....it all depends on where you want to work.
I remember I had a wonderful LPN helping me in the post partum unit after I had Leane. She was wonderful, stayed to whole day trying to help me get the breastfeeding thing figured out when the LC was giving me the run-around. If I could do that, I would be so happy.
The only reason why I thought that I wouldn't like being an LPN as much is because everyone tells me about all the crappy grunt work they do. They're basically known as the "goffers" (sp?) for the RN's. When you hear a description like that from people, it kinda worries you.
The LPN course here, like I said, would be paid for for me through the grant I'm already getting. It's only a year long program. Whereas the RN program is 4 years, and REALLY expensive. I was also thinking today that since Cody is going to be taking a pretty hard course here, it would be really awful to have both of us in university at the same time while also trying to attend to Leane. So maybe the LPN route is really the best....that way I could be at home with her more.
Thanks for all the help everyone!

 

Good deal! I'm glad you found out. It is different depending on where you live. If there is job placement, and you can get into a Midwife program with the LPN, then go for it.