Im so fucking lonely.

I've finally woken up out of the four year trance i've been in. I've decided to stop isolating myself and i realise i have lost so many friends, im really fucking lonely.

Honestly i wouldnt even be on HF's (nothing against y'all) but i have no one left to hang out with. It's not that my old friends hate me i've just havent spent any time with them for so long, i only really have 3 people i can call my close friends.

So after my exam i wanted to socialize but if my 3 friends are busy which they were i have no one. Its so sad because its all my own bloody fault but i dont want to be alone any more

Im drunk sorry.

 

I've never been a person who's been big on friends.

I've always been a person who's been big on books.

 

I like books i do, but thats only one facet of my life, i love belonging, i love being accepted as much as i may despise humanity and people at times.

Im one bitter social butter fly.

This is a rant, i know im wrong.

 

being deunk can make you feel very lonely

I used to drink a lot and feel this way

I don't lilke alcohol all to well..well I do but it causes a lot of depression so I prefer druga

 

I've been sober all week and ive been super lonely since saturday, im only drinking tonight, its not the alcohol that is making me feel lonely, it is what i have done to my own social life thats upsetting me.

I dont really care about comparing drugs to alcohol (whats the difference?) i just feel lonely and this is my rant.

Ivy im sorry the forums have been so mean to you.

 

You're not wrong, you're not right.

You just are.

You should never feel lonely if you have yourself.

When yourself leaves....then you truly have no one.

You have 3 people you say; forge the ties with them again. Make plans in advance. Don't expect them not to have plans just because you don't. I have learned this the hard way in the past.

I have felt the way you feel before, and you either need to learn to accept that you're not social, or that you are, and live accordingly.

Don't stand on the outside, looking in.

You either go inside or you turn away from the window and look out into the woods.

 

I & I alone

I appreciate the advice, i do, im sure you wouldnt have written that with out wanting to help. I know what my problems are, i am waking up to myself but i dont think there is any advice anyone can give me that is of great use, i have my own unique problems i need to solve that cannot be readily understood. But thank you for reaching out a little bit none the less.

 

Kinda similar to my situation, I know a lot of people but not the kind I would hang out with or call friends..Right now I only hang out with 3 friends I've known for a while but not even to often like once a week or 2 or something...But I don't feel lonely at all, I enjoy my own company like the company of others if not more.

Maybe you should try to get out there and at the same time embrace the fact that its ok to be by yourself sometimes and make the most out of it?

 

Your really sweet yeah they sure have been, they just about stabbed me in the back and the heart

here's a big hug (((((((((((((((( ))))))))))))))))))

 

Ah fuck this.

I was going to write out a different reply then I read this bs.

 

go out by yourself, go to a bar somewhere and meet with strangers. Its always much more pleasing to talk to unknown people coz u have no idea what to expect and that way u can find people u would be really pleased to communicate in the future too.

 

Oh here we go, just give me a moment to get on the defensive.

What bullshit? this is me being honest. All though im really upset i didnt get to read your "different reply".

Actually why dont you go fuck yourself?

 

Im afraid to go out by myself, I am agrophobic i just push through it most of the time when i need to but thats not the same when you're trying to blow off steam and actually have fun.

I find it hard to get to know people i am not already close to, actually i have trouble even recognizing people i dont have an emotional connection with me, im sure there is something wrong with me.

 

I'm a little upset that I didn't get to post it. I wasted five minutes of my time replying honestly only to read before I hit send that your op was vain.

 

Well thats not my problem, next time maybe you should read the post your replying to dumbass.

Anyway, i agree in many ways i am vain but what makes you think that i am that way?

 

post #1 followed by post #5.

 

well u know i think many people are like that, but im totally sure that`s temporary, of course if you want it to be.
I usually have some periods of time when i am getting really shut in myself and i feel extremely insecure of my actions and way of look and all and that`s when i am taking some time off from the outside world and coming into my own. For some days i`m just chillin and rationalize my thoughts and feeling and then i feel like brand new person, i`m starting to be very social and energetic. But i`m always like that, 2 different perosns live in meiggy:

 

Yeah well im not stupid, i gathered those were the posts you were talking about it considering you already mentioned that.

Of course ya dont have to explain your opinion, most people full of bullshit find it difficult.

Have fun internet "bad guy".

 

People here jump at the chance to spew hatred. Some hippies.

 

Yeah i mean, seriously i make few threads dedicated to self absorbed ranting and she has to fill it up with her own bullshit, not only that she has to make annoying to read with oversized fonts.

Im starting to think Ivy is one god damned professional troll.