I'm tired

So tired that I can't describe it, yet in a dignified way I know this doesn't matter because I really am tired and me not being able to explain it to people is not going to change that.

 

I like to think you live in Marmalade...

 

me tooooo,. i am very tired. i wish my hubby would come home soon. or my kid would go to sleep. we've sculpted with playdough, painted, colored, went to the vintage stock, played hotwheels, made a huge pile of stuffed animals and blankets to jump on, im running out of ideas.

 

I am used to being physically tired but I am emotionally tired, in a long term sense, as in completely spent. I used to think that I was tired in this way when I was younger, but I was wrong. I will probably look back in 5 years and think the same thing. God life can be so terrible. I wish people knew.

 

emotionally exhausted is horrible

 

Life is a cold mistress...without a doubt.

 

If your life is a leaf that the seasons tear off and condemn...I love this line. I feel so much like this.

What really annoys me right now is that people my own age seem to think they know about suffering because they don't understand it, and people older than me think I have no claim to the fact because I'm 24 and can't have possibly suffered. I don't even talk about myself anymore. It seems that everything about me, and everything I do is wrong. I just listen now. Listen to people talk about nothing.

 

I like to hear you talk.

 

you need to go have some fun
!

 

I have always liked you, but this is what I mean. I am content, and I make my own fun when I have a spare moment, but fun in the conventional sense is not possible, at least for another few weeks. Sleeping outside might help but its raining too heavy to set up my tent.

 

I was having some dizzy spells earlier, but Im over it.

 

huh. that sucks facey.

i had a great day!

 

meditate?
listen to happy music and dance?
listen to terrence mckenna talk about life? haha
i want to help!

i know the feeling though... it'll pass.

sorry that was not very helpful.

 

My battery just died and I can't go get a haircut.

Maybe I should just give up on being strong for the night and sleep at my parent's house and watch some movies and eat pizza and pretend i'm young and free for a few hours.

I am really lucky in this aspect...I should stop complaining so much.

 

Facey, why cant you get a haircut? And you should do what makes you happy, without regrets.

Waking: Did your exam go alright?

 

When someone says "I know the feeling" its the best thing in the world. If one person in real life could say that I would be so happy. Thanks.

 

do you need to get away from everything and everyone? is that sort of what your going through? maybe go for a little vacation. and do nothing.

 

Hairdressers close soon and I won't get the car started in time to go. Have made an appointment for monday

I do everything I can to make myself happy, but I am tired of doing it alone. Actually, being alone is ok. Being judged is the hard part.

 

massacred the fucker.