I'm voting for Bush this November!!!!!

I'm A Nascar Loving, Inbred Toofless Racist, Israel-supporting, Bible Thumping Retard With My Head Firmly Lodged Up My Ass!!!!

 

George W. Bush's Resume

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George W. Bush (Dubya)
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Ave., NW
Washington, D.C. 20500
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Past Work Experience
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• Ran for congress and lost.
• Produced a Hollywood slasher B movie.
• Bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas; company went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock.
• Bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took land using taxpayer money. Biggest move: Traded Sammy Sosa to the Chicago White Sox.
• With father's help (and his name) was elected Governor of Texas.

Accomplishments in Previous Positions
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• Changed pollution laws for power and oil companies and made Texas the most polluted state in the Union.
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• Replaced Los Angeles with Houston as the most smog-ridden city in America. Cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas government to the tune of billions in borrowed money.
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• Set record for most executions by any governor in American history.
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• Became president after losing the popular vote by over 500,000 votes, with the help of my father's appointments to the Supreme Court.
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Accomplishments As President
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• Attacked and took over two countries.
• Spent the surplus and bankrupted the treasury.
• Shattered record for biggest annual deficit in history.
• Set economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12-month period.
• Set all-time record for biggest drop in the history of the stock market.
• First president in decades to execute a federal prisoner.
• First president in U.S. history to enter office with a criminal record.
• First year in office set the all-time record for most days on vacation by any president in U.S. history.
• After taking the entire month of August off for vacation, presided over the worst security failure in U.S. history.
• Set the record for most campaign fundraising trips than any other president in U.S. history.
• In my first two years in office over 2 million Americans lost their job.
• Cut unemployment benefits for more out of work Americans than any president in U.S. history.
• Set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period.
• Appointed more convicted criminals to administration positions than any president in U.S. history.
• Set the record for the least amount of press conferences than any president since the advent of television.
• Signed more laws and executive orders amending the Constitution than any president in U.S. history.
• Presided over the biggest energy crises in U.S. history and refused to intervene when corruption was revealed.
• Presided over the highest gasoline prices in U.S. history and refused to use the national reserves as past presidents have.
• Cut healthcare benefits for war veterans.
• Set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously take to the streets to protest me (15 million people), shattering the record for protest against any person in the history of mankind.
• Dissolved more international treaties than any president in U.S. history.
• My presidency is the most secretive and unaccountable of any in U.S. history.
• Members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in U.S. history (the 'poorest' multimillionaire, Condoleezza Rice, has an Exxon oil tanker named after her).
• First president in U.S. history to have all 50 states of the Union simultaneously go bankrupt.
• Presided over the biggest corporate stock market fraud of any market in any country in the history of the world.
• First president in U.S. history to order a U.S. attack and military occupation of a sovereign nation.
• Created the largest government department bureaucracy in the history of the United States.
• Set the all-time record for biggest annual budget spending increases, more than any president in U.S. history.
• First president in U.S. history to have the United Nations remove the U.S. from the human rights commission.
• First president in U.S. history to have the United Nations remove the U.S. from the elections monitoring board.
• Removed more checks and balances, and have the least amount of congressional oversight than any presidential administration in U.S. history.
• Rendered the entire United Nations irrelevant.
• Withdrew from the World Court of Law.
• Refused to allow inspectors access to U.S. prisoners of war and by default no longer abide by the Geneva Conventions.
• First president in U.S. history to refuse United Nations election inspectors (during the 2002 U.S. elections).
• All-time U.S. (and world) record holder for most corporate campaign donations.
• My biggest lifetime campaign contributor presided over one of the largest corporate bankruptcy frauds in world history (Kenneth Lay, former CEO of Enron Corporation).
• Spent more money on polls and focus groups than any president in U.S. history.
• First president in U.S. history to unilaterally attack a sovereign nation against the will of the United Nations and the world community.
• First president to run and hide when the U.S. came under attack (and then lied saying the enemy had the code to Air Force 1)
• First U.S. president to establish a secret shadow government.
• Took the biggest world sympathy for the U.S. after 9/11, and in less than a year made the U.S. the most resented country in the world (possibly the biggest diplomatic failure in U.S. and world history).
• With a policy of 'disengagement' created the most hostile Israeli-Palestine relations in at least 30 years.
• Fist U.S. president in history to have a majority of the people of Europe (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and stability.
• First U.S. president in history to have the people of South Korea more threatened by the U.S. than their immediate neighbor, North Korea.
• Changed US policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded government contracts.
• Set all-time record for number of administration appointees who violated U.S. law by not selling huge investments in corporations bidding for government contracts.
• Failed to fulfill my pledge to get Osama Bin Laden 'dead or alive.'
• Failed to capture the anthrax killer who tried to murder the leaders of our country at the United States Capital building. After 18 months I have no leads and zero suspects.
• In the 18 months following the 9/11 attacks I have successfully prevented any public investigation into the biggest security failure in the history of the United States.
• Removed more freedoms and civil liberties for Americans than any other president in U.S. history.
• In a little over two years created the most divided country in decades, possibly the most divided the U.S. has ever been since the Civil War.
• Entered office with the strongest economy in U.S. history and in less than two years turned every single economic category heading straight down.

Records and References
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• At least one conviction for drunk driving in Maine (Texas driving record has been erased and is not available)
• AWOL from National Guard and deserted the military during a time of war.
• Refuse to take drug test or even answer any questions about drug use.
• All records of my tenure as governor of Texas have been spirited away to my father's library, sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.
• All records of any SEC investigations into my insider trading or bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.
• All minutes of meetings for any public corporation I served on the board are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.
• Any records or minutes from meetings I (or my VP) attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public review.
• For personal references please speak to my daddy or uncle James Baker (they can be reached at their offices of the Carlyle Group for war-profiteering.)

 

Like hell you are! :$ If you vote for Bush, I'm gonna send the Chariseastan Secret Police to hang you upside down and pull out your toenails!

 

If anyone can see the problem with this, they get 50 LoduiLand fun bucks.

 

uhhhh....he's not running in November? I gave it my best shot.

 

I think we have a winner!!

 

Uh, is it the fact that the enitre resume is written in first person and that it disregards the fact that George Bush alone wasn't entirely responsible for every one of the actions listed, in essence, demonising the man without accounting for his party or the corporate culture that uses him as a puppet?

Just a wild guess, or am i being too broad? Its still funny though.

 

Trekker, you win!

Lying, way too complex. I'd contend with some of the things there, but I don't like Bush enough to defend him.

 

Yeah i know. I'm just being pedantic and literal. I get it from my father - The accountant.

 

W is embarrissing...Americans are more hated world wide than they ever have been. What an ass-hat.

 

you've left out one thing
responsible for the wrack and ruin of an renowned american city - NEW ORLEANS
has a us president actually been responsible for this kind of thing before? is it a record??

 

Americans are a complex people. Bush over simplifies things. Inteligent humans can see the truth in what he says, but realize he is working with what he has been given.

 

Bush has the power to influence a complex and diverse world. It is a dangerous job. Pray for him, but don't try to unsettle the very structure of American government. He was elected to represent the USA. Look to the system, and not the system analyst. I think he has a good constitution backing him. The American culture may be a bit sickly, and nature is trying to tell us over and over again that something is wrong. We have to look to the founding fathers for help. Respect the law, exercise your rights as a human, or if aplicable, an American. If Bush is going against the constitution, and the Bill of Rights, then he is accountable for any action as such. We have to be the back bone of this great nation.

 

1/4 of a brain.

 

Yea, if that much.

 

I have to admit, he does seem incredibly stupid a lot of the time. He did graduate from an Ivy Leage college though. I wouldnt have wanted Gore in, but what choices did I have back in 2000? I picked the lesser of two evils and voted for Bush. Who knew what would happen.

Maybe we need Ross Perot. I voted for Jerry Brown in 1991. I think both major parties are corrupt beyond help now. It's time for a third party, or an independent. Lets back a winning horse.

I definately don't want to ditch the constitution, but I want to see someone who has the character and integrity to use it constructively and creatively.

 

Its true, the republicrats run the show. I'm convinced Instant Runoff Voting is the only way we can get a third party candidate to really be a true contender in any election.

 

Pardon my ignorance, but what exactly is Instant Runoff Voting?

 

No problem,

IRV is a "spoiler proof" voting system. If you remember back in 2000, the Ralph Nader issue in Florida. How people think Gore would have won had the Nader voters not split the liberal vote. Check out this link and it shows very simply how IRV works.

http://www.chrisgates.net/irv/

 

He's the emperor in chief. Doesn't he have the balls Harry Truman had to say the "buck stops here" and own up to what he's allowed to happen under his watch.