In love with my coworker, what do I do?

I, 36f, have recently realised I have strong feelings for a female at work in her early 40's. She was in a role, not exactly superior to mine, but she was one of several people assessing me as part of further studies I was doing this year. Boyh of us were neutral and professional during this time. Now that has ended and I've realised that I really enjoy spending 1:1 time with her, we have similar values. Both of us are looking for other jobs, which would reduce the work issues.

It is complicated, as she has a daughter, which I'm happy to have in my life, but would need to go slow and be respectful of her. I'm also doing ivf as a solo parent, (she had her child the same way), and she has indicated support towards this.

We recently had a dinner with coworkers but it was very casual, and I slipped into the conversation that I dated women and was single. She went quiet, then said (to the group) that her daughter wanted her to get married and give her a sibling, and the best way to do this would be with a younger woman who could have children. This seemed specific to me, but I might be overthinking. Sometimes she is very complimentary and close to me, blowing kisses hello at dinner, then she almost catches herself and becomes more distant, professional and shy.

I feel she can't make a move (if she does have feelings) because of work, the age gap, previous hierarchy. I'm scared to do anything in case I've imagined the whole thing, and I also would never want to cause her harm. I have texted her in the past, and she responds, but just briefly. She doesn't initiate text. Otherwise it's work email or at work in person is how we communicate. Am I imagining things? Do I just have to wait?

 

Ask her out.

 

You need to decide and tell her. She won't know unless you ask her

 

You could try doing things the old fashioned way and write her a letter, on paper, and put it in an envelope, then give it or post it to her. That way no-one would be able to see what you'd written by looking over her shoulder at her phone while at work. Furthermore, put in the letter that if she feels the same way as you do, then to write back the same way. If not then tell her to return your letter, so that no-one else will ever know your feelings, or that she'd been propositioned by you, and you can both carry on as though nothing ever happened.

 

That is excellent advice