Insult or compliment?

Hi ladies. I know it seems strange that a man would come here but please let me explain. I met a really attractive and intelligent woman at a party a few weeks ago. We had been talking for a good half hour and really seemed to be hitting it off. Then, things suddenly went downhill. I commented that she had a nice, full hourglass figure. I thought she would take it as a compliment. Instead, she became deeply offended. She snapped, "Oh really....well perhaps I should do some plus size modeling!", and then gave me a stinging slap on the cheek and walked away.

She had the classic figure of a 50's pinup - large bust, narrow waist, shapely hips/legs. I guess she had interpreted "hourglass" as meaning big/overweight/full figured. I just thought it meant shapely and well proportioned. Also, I'm wondering if she may have been hypersensitive about her figure to begin with. She was Vietnamese (born and raised in U.S.), and most women of that ethnic background tend to be petite. She may have always felt awkward about being so voluptuous.

My buddies had watched the scene unfold and were laughing hysterically. When I told them what I had said they shook their heads and said it was never a good idea to comment on a woman's figure, even if I thought it was complimentary. What are your thoughts on this?

 

hourglass in many areas has become a pseudonym for plus, full figured, curvy yet overweight. perhaps not the best word choice, though i would say she over reacted with teh slap

 

It all depends on the woman in question and how you say it. She probably is insecure about her body and when you are insecure about something you usually dont like to receive any attetion towards that and any comment can become a bad one even when its good.. i think most women dont like to listen the word full in a sentence that refers to their body, its a matter of self esteem.

 

She was totally out of order imo...hourglass refers to the out-in-out shape a woman should have (which an hourglass also has)...at least thats what ive always assumed

And SLAPPING you, a virual stranger? And what if youd slapped her?...Gawd, she was just a bad one...better luck next time

 

I think your mistake was in saying "full" and "figure" in the same sentence. The woman must be overly sensitive. You didn't deserve to have your face slapped.

 

ha you got pwned

 

yeah that wasn't a smart remark

 

she was out of line in slapping you, that was just rude
your interpritation of an hour glass figure is a great one...one that more people should have. That being said, that's probably the reason why she slapped you in the face, because we're taught to believe that the old 50's era shape is over weight...the new rage is "herion sheik", grossly enough.
Honestly, if she reacted that outragously and violently, she's really not worth the time. Imagine what a relationship would be like with someone who just ups and slaps the guy in the face with one misunderstood comment....you'd be walking on egg shells the whole time.
But yeah, just remember to keep the general figure comments out of the conversation. What offends one woman might be a total compliment to another. I, for one, like it when people tell me I have an hour glass figure. The next woman you meet might like that too. But save the body comments until a few months into a relationship...and even then, play it safe, lol. women are a little tooooo sensitive about stupid stuff like that. Just stick with the usual, like beautiful, cute, etc. They're at least a little more general and don't really imply anything that you don't intend them to.

 

Exactly.

 

I think she's just insecure.. how rude of her. I mean I guess maybe it was a little soon to comment on her figure. But I always thought an hourglass figure was the ideal shape... a woman with curves is one of the most beautiful things in my opinion

 

Maybe you shouldn't have commented on her figure. Maybe you should have just said something more general, such as 'beautiful,' 'attractive.' She may have been insecure about her body as well...

 

what a fucking psycho, slapping you like that. someone that far off the mark mentally is not someone i'd be feeling guilty about insulting with a compliment. fuck that. she makes her own misery.

 

I don't think it's appropriate to make comments about a person's body after only 30 minutes of interaction. You got what you deserved, as far I am concerned.

 

Im a dude. I say she is stupid for not fully understanding that it was a compliment. Hour glass figure is pretty well known as being a desirable shape as far as Im concerned.

 

i think the whole problem was saying the word "full." if someone said that to me eh i doubt id take it as a compliment. she was out of line for slapping you

 

It was foolish of you to comment on her body. It doesn't matter what you meant or thought. Most women have a body image thing. Either you are criticising them for something they can't control (bad you) or you are blind to not see their "obvious flaw" (bad you). Before commenting on any woman's body, ask yourself "Does this make me look fat?".

It was a mistake for her to be insulted by what you said. She misinterpreted your meaning (you meant shapely she heard fat). It might be that she also misinterpreted your words to be other than a compliment. However, as seen in the "Merry Xmas" debate, there are those who choose to be insulted by clumbsy nicities.

It was extreem for her to slap you.

I forget from the OP, but was this in a bar? Just guessing, three mistakes from two people in such a short period suggests the effects of alchohol.

Do you know her well enough to apologize? (I didn't say you did anything wrong, but apologize anyway.)

 

ooooo! cool! i SO get to slap you the first time you offend me. that KICKS ASS!

 

wtf? who the fuck CARES what someone says about their body!? is that ever an excuse to go ballistic on someone physically? ever? i've taken some downright VICIOUS commentary on what-the-fuck-ever about me. i'm not a pacifist, nor am i someone to take shit off anyone. but lord of the fucking rings (lol) that's one neurotic **** right there.

 

right, so, i have the right to slap anyone who makes any comment on my body within 30 minutes of knowing me. so the comments on me having pretty eyes and nice hair and all that should be returned witha slap across the face. thanks, never woulda figured that out on my own

 

People usually are offended because of their own insecurities, if your intentions were good, you have done nothing wrong.

I had plenty of experiences such as these. People get offended when no offense was meant, or people get scared when there is nothing to be afraid about. It is all in their own minds, their own insecurities and other psychological tendencies haunt them, what we can do is be compassionate to that and not take it to heart. Leave it be, you did nothing wrong...hopefully she will recover from her own insecurity