Is It Possible For A Husband To Rape His Wife???

Discussion in 'Women's Forum' started by BrownTripleQQ, Feb 28, 2005.

  1. BrownTripleQQ

    BrownTripleQQ Member

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    Many women who are victims of marital rape have great difficulty in defining it as such. The traditional idea that it is impossible for a man to rape his wife and that somehow, in taking the marriage vows they have abdicated any say over their wife's own body and sexuality, basically denied them the right to say 'no', is still prevalent amongst wives as much as amongst their husbands. A wife being raped will often question her right to refuse intercourse with her husband, and while she may realise that legally it now constitutes rape, there are many reasons which may prevent her from perceiving it in such a light.

    Some prefer to see it possibly as a communication problem (did I make it clear enough that I did not want intercourse tonight), some may see it as an act for which the man is not fully responsible due to his nature (men have a biological need to have sex and if there is a woman next to them in bed when they are in the mood they just cannot help it), some may see it as a misunderstanding (although I told him I didn't want to, maybe I gave him the wrong signals somehow), some may have religious issues which question the right to refuse intercourse (I have got to submit myself to him and accept his will above mine as my Lord and Master).

    Basically, as wives being raped by their husbands, we look for every reason, every excuse to deny it is Rape because we do not want to accept the alternative: it is Rape, he is hurting and humiliating her with intent, she can no longer trust him, turn to him in comfort, gain reassurance and protection from his company and the home is no longer safe. (Domestic Abuse Clearinghouse, Washington, DC)

    So, what do you think? Is it possible for a husband to RAPE his wife?? Or does "No" mean "Yes" when you are married? Comments?
     
  2. lynsey

    lynsey Banned

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    I actually asked this question in bible study when I was like 11 and they said no that it's not possible. But that's so wrong that's so possible but most people wouldn't marry those who this would be an issue with-I would hope not at least.
     
  3. BrownTripleQQ

    BrownTripleQQ Member

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    Of course you wouldn't marry someone who this would be an issue, but when you are married and it happens, then what???
     
  4. Co0kiezGurl

    Co0kiezGurl Banned

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    It's as possible as it is for a husband to beat his wife. They're both just as despicable.
     
  5. Co0kiezGurl

    Co0kiezGurl Banned

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    Then I'd rip his balls off....

    no not literally...then I'd be in a lot of trouble lol. But I would divorce his dumbass and get him convicted of rape come hell or high water
     
  6. ihmurria

    ihmurria fini

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    No means No means NO!

    You say no and that's exactly what it means. So what if your partner's horny? If you are absolutely not in the mood, there's always masturbation. Masturbation makes the world a better place.

    Rape can happen in a marriage. Men can be raped. Anyone can be raped. There are no circumstances to justify rape.
     
  7. RetroGroove_Grrl

    RetroGroove_Grrl I'm a big girl now

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    Well a boyfriend can rape you.
    A friend can rape you
    I cant see any reason why a husband cant rape you.

    by the same token, a prostitute can also be raped by a "customer"

    All marriage is, is a piece of paper.

    Therefore, marriage does not make it acceptable for any man or woman to treat their partner as an object that exists souley for their pleasure.

    Since when should the pleasure of one come before the safety of another?

    If its unwanted, its rape, no matter who it is
     
  8. feministhippy

    feministhippy Member

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    Yes, it is. This isn't 1219. There are no laws requiring that the spouse have sex with the other spouse on demand. This is 2005, and sex is something both partners have to consent to regardless of whether or not they are married.
     
  9. headymoechick

    headymoechick I have no idea

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    anyone can rapre anyone at any time. There are no exceptions
     
  10. Maggie Sugar

    Maggie Sugar Senior Member

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    Many states (although not all of them) have marraige rape laws. These laws are newer, as it used to be beleived that anything the husband wanted, sexually was the womyn's "duty."

    Yes. But it is hard to prosecute, and usually only comes up in conjunction with battery cases and divorce cases. From what I have heard, most cops do NOT take this type of report seriously (of course police officers have the highest Domestic Violence rate of any profession........)
     
  11. Ayesha

    Ayesha Member

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    You're raped whenever you're forced to have sexual relations. People can be forced by a husband or by a stranger and it's no different. No-one has the right to mistreat anyone.
    I try to understand women who forgive their husbands, I usually don't judge women in any case. But there isn't space for such excuses like "it was a problem of communication" or "biological reasons"... That ain't nothing but lies. A raper knows what he's doing, it is obvious when you don't want it, it is obvious when you're getting hurt, it is obvious when you're disrespecting someone. And I don't know who made up those "biological reasons", I would even laugh if this wasn't such a horrible subject.
    Though, well, that's true, many women still think about this things, forgiving to forget the humilliation they went through. They're just lieing to themselves. This ain't the solution. Not at all. A raper must be punished. That's justice.
    I think it is a shame that in the XXI century people still give so much importance to those religion issues. Where the hell is the free thinking? Why the hell are churches still so conservative? Why the hell would a christian priest condemn a woman that got divorced because she was raped by her husband, when Jesus Christ proclaimed the solidarity and respect? Why the hell would a woman that got divorced feel bad because of religion? When the hell will people understand that a God of Love wouldn't be an executor?
    ...........
     
  12. Faerie

    Faerie Peachy

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    Exactly... No.. Id dont matter who you say it to... It means No....
     
  13. lynsey

    lynsey Banned

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    lol well my point was I wouldn't be with somone who was capable of that type of violence so it would never be an issue.
     
  14. lynsey

    lynsey Banned

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    the sad thing is is that that's how so many guys really think oh your with me i'm not fucking around so you have to do a b and c whenever i want because i'm a guy and have needs. that's sad that they have to make a law preventing rape against the person you should be able to trust most in the worls.
     
  15. cutelildeadbear

    cutelildeadbear Hip Forums Gym Rat

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    yes, my abusive, alcoholic father has raped my mother on many occasions. I heard them. And they wonder why I'm fucked in the head!
     
  16. sonador_hermosa

    sonador_hermosa Member

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    i was raped by an ex-boyfriend. i think he thought that just because we were together it was okay to take anything he wanted from me...we went INTO the act consenting, but it was my first time doing anal (which i CAN'T do to this day because of him raping me) and it hurt so i told him i wanted to stop and he didn't. i was screaming and crying and he just kept going. anytime any partner says no and the other one keeps going regardless, it is rape.
     
  17. Small_Brown

    Small_Brown Senior Member

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    Short answer: yes he can.
     
  18. Sunny Afternoon

    Sunny Afternoon Member

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    No means no, married or not. If you say no to sex and someone forces themselves on you I don't give a shit who they are, it's still rape.
     
  19. xthevalkyriex

    xthevalkyriex Member

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    Of course it's rape. No question about it.
     
  20. Maggie Sugar

    Maggie Sugar Senior Member

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    It is SOOOOOO nice to see a thread like this without jiimaan trying to justify marital rape. AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

    NO MEANS NO!

    I am sorry some of you ladies had to have this horrible thing happen to you, or to those you love. My thoughts are with you.
     

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