Maybe you're right and I'm very wrong But how will I know if I can't get along With anyone else but you and your dog In a city of noise,rubbish and smog? Spring's finally come,the flowers in bloom I'm missing it all locked up in my room I put myself there and know it quite clear Turn my eyes down when I go past a mirror As one drama ends another starts up I wish that their endings were just as abrupt Maybe this all was one big mistake But it's what I decide to give and to take If it's all shit and there is no god What are we learning behind the fasade? To take it in stride and carry on grinning If no one shows fear then who's really winning? Those who exploit other's heartaches for joy Giving advice just like nursing a toy And so we shut down and wish them away But don't have the guts to do what we say They lurk around corners waiting for the day That a new tragic hit will bring them more prey Far more unsure then those they think weak They feel their heads spinning and faster they speak Spouting off wisdom they picked up on tv All that they have is chat show psychology I know it's all bollocks,I've at least got that far You can't relate when you hide in your car Listening to radio doctor reports Of what the human condition needs to contort Into the happy faces you see on the street Dying inside from a smothering defeat Media tells us we should all be so blessed To have someone decide what would suit us best
Awww man, it's all there. The pain, the bullshit, the bullshit getting rubbed into the pain. It's just full of ranting truth, one piercing couplet after another. Also, I love couplets alot, you should write lots of couplets to make me happy
I agree, with Josh, this is great, I love the rhymes which flow so well, to say nothing of the sentiment expressed. Only thing I didn't like was when you said "shit." Not that the word bothers me, but it's rough character doesn't seem to fit into this poem's style. Also the end seemed abrupt but that might just be because I wanted to keep reading more But it could have maybe used some wrapping up.
Cheers guys,it's good to hear a bit of feedback and you may be right about the ending TrippinBTM,I think there was more I wanted to say but I came to a block.
I'm going to be smarmy, and give you a bit of unrequested Wisdom: though it is useless to seek to inflict pain on others, to transmute the pain inflicted upon your self into pleasure is the surest path to joyful vengeance. Than the tide turns, and eventually one realizes: there were no pains or pleasures, only experiences and perceptions, colored as they were those many shades of gray. Of course, this is quite antithetical to the advice one might recieve from "Dr. Phil" or the Dalai Lama, but it's still quite presumptuous. Why, I'm just being ridiculous, really! Have a great day!
