K, well its a long story and Im a shy person even on line, but feel I need the advice of someone somewhere. Ive suffered from severe depression as far back as I can remember, anxiety and fear of other people. I hate getting into confrontational situations as I worry constantly that people might disagree with me or think bad of me - yeah, im paranoid to fuck as well. It was bad a few years ago, then kinda levelled off for a year or two but seems to be back 10 fold. I know my problem is drug and drink abuse, shit, i doubt ive been to bed sober for the past 2 years at least. I know I should go seek medical help but I cant. I feel like Im letting down all the people who actually care about me, Ive managed to hide my fear well through the use of substances and hidden the fact im on such things well from people I know. Id like sometimes to shout out, shit - im not the guy you think I am, its only cause I took a or b or drank c or d that you think im a happy person. I guess no one I know knows me, and I feel like I have noone to talk to. Sorry for the whine, I know Im new here but sometimes strangers can be the easiest people to talk to especially when they dont know who you are. I know a lot of good good people but the way im going im going to lose them all if i carry on down this road - it will become apparent at some point what im doing. or ill end up dying from some drug/drink medical fuckup with my body. its the last thing I want with my life but I have no idea how to even start to solve this problem. I live in the UK, and feel very much alone. Thanks for reading, shit, even writing this ramble down makes me feel bad.
hey man. I'm no psychiatrist, but it sounds to me like you need to practice some self honesty. and since you admitted it to yourself, you've already done the first step. you need to clear your head if you really want to do this, so i'd advise maybe not doing any drugs/alcohol for at least a few weeks. it sounds (and correct me if i'm wrong) like you don't feel really comfortable in your own skin, so you try to cover it up. but you're not alone, i know a ton of people who fit that description. but sometimes it feels like they're happy that way, and the effort to drag themselves out doesn't outweigh sitting around and complaining about it all. so hey, it's not going to be easy. get that shit out of your system and prove to yourself you have the strength to overcome it. you'll realize some of it has been a choice of yours all along. so for you're own sake, I hope you turn it all around, man. good luck.
You can't expect someone to save you from your self... your the only one who can do that. I bet theres people who know your down on our self, but they don't know how to approach you. What you need to do, is sit down with your self... look in the mirror and say hey! I dont want to be this person anymore... I want to be happy, truly. You need to A) Define your self! Who are you? What do you believe in? B) why aren't you happy? C) What would make you happy? and D) what steps can you take to achieve happiness?(minus the drugs & alcohol) (And if it becomes to much seeing someone may just help) Your getting there, its good you realize that drugs/alcohol aren't making you happy, there just making you come off that way. You've identified what you don't like .... now Identify what you do... And you have to do what makes you happy, and what makes you feel comfortable.( Taking a walk, reading, going to a concert, being with people who you love, music, painting, bike riding) But don't keep drugs and alcohol as your crutch ...because its bound to buckle under you. I hope this makes sense, and has helped in some way. I wish you the best of luck huggs!
