just caught boyfriend cheating with a guy

Okay we have been together for five years live together the whole time. I dont have much sexual experience before us. But I'm very open minded. I had also been in a relationship with a girl for 7 months I feel in love she broke my heart. In my relationship now I enjoy fingering my boyfriend and I like having strap on sex. I actually brought up doing those things to my boyfriend first I had always been turned on by it but never comfortable enough with anyone else to express it. So about 2 or 3 months ago my boyfriend started being really mean,inconsiderate,very secretive,and defensive. Plus he wouldn't have sex with me or anything. I knew it the back of my mind he was cheating I just couldn't believe it without proof because I never thought he was capable of cheating on me. So his strange behavior caused me to be deeply depressed,cryed all the time,begged pleaded for him to tell me why. He always had a different story and none of them were true. But he always got super shitty and mean he never showed that he felt bad for putting me thru it at the time. He was completely detached. So I obsessively started snooping thru his stuff to find out what was going on because he was not his self. I hacked into a secret email account and found the proof. He was cheating with guys.he said he was ashamed that's why he took it out on me instead of telling me. I' the only person that knows other then the men hes slept with. He says he not attracted to them just dick that he's a bottom, he said that it would freak him out if they kissed him or caressed him. He said its just sex. I expressed to him before that I was turned on by the threesome thing ffm,mfm we had talked about both I'm hurt because he cheated then treated me like shit.I love him and I'm trying my best to understand but he's so assamed and defensive and I'm so uneducated that its hard for me to fully understand with the information he's giving me please help. I want to be part of this with him but I'm hurt by the fact he cheated and I'm insecure BC of it. I don't want this to ruin us when it could have brought us closer.

 

Deja Vu

 

you dont need to post this 8 different times

 

I don't understand Im still trying to figure this site out. If I did I didn't mean to

 

I know you don't wanna hear this but you have got to dump him and find somebody who will respect you enough to not go behind your back and cheat on you.

 

Well he's obviously bi but that needn't mean that you can't still have a good relationship together. At first people are often ashamed of both what they have done and that they are cheating on their partner and that can make for the aggression etc. you mention.

You need to sit him down and gently prise it all out - probably won't happen in one session - and, since you seem willing enough to experiment, persuade him to try a mfm together. Talk, talk and openess are the keys.

Good luck,


Simon:sunny:

 

My definition of respect would include NOT hacking your partners email account

 

This is a very good point. I must say that I agree.

 

There are better dudes out there. Dump this one.

It's very simple.

 

You were in a relationship with a woman, so you are obviously bi. You enjoy fingering your boyfriend and having strap on sex. You are turned on by threesomes. I've wanted a woman with those qualities my whole life and he's out there cheating. He doesn't deserve you. You can find someone better.

 

Lol, thats two guys so far with 'bi' in their username telling her to dump him.....so he's back on the market

 

Seems to me, you 2 have a perfect opportunity to grow closer. You both have bisexual interests, so why can't you 2 accept and encourage those interests? I mean, isn't true love unselfish? And just because he cheated on you, does not mean he doesn't respect you, IMHO and experience. The sexual drive, especially in the male, is hard to repress from expressing and experiencing. Why not embrace his and your sexuality, love, respect and forgive each other? Cheating is a bad thing, but it only means someone made a bad decision at the time. It doesn't have to be the end. It can be a new beginning for you 2. Good luck!

 

im a bi male and my girlfriend caught me but now she loves it