Kind of an Awkward Situation. I'm weird. Your thoughts, please?

I hope someone takes the time to read this...because expressing this is gonna help me a lot.

So I'm a junior in highschool. I'm 17 going on 18 in less than a month. Not sure why that matters but hey.

Alright well throughout the school year there has been this girl that I pass on my to class multiple times during the day. I don't believe in coincidences. I noticed her because she's extremely unique. She's beautiful. She has this incredible presence. And she's always alone. I found this interesting because she was too beautiful and I have always been a bit of a loner myself. The whole year I was aching to talk to her. Wasn't quite sure how I'd do it or what I'd say. Many ideas ran through my head.

I just couldn't stand my hesitation any longer. I was too curious to know who she reall was. I felt like it would be a mistake to not attempt to get to know this girl. So about a month ago (maybe a little longer) I noticed her at her locker where I had to pass by so with much much fear I approached her. I believe I said somethine like "Hi. I'm sorry, but I really need to know your name. I just wanna know." This was mostly done in a nervous manner and I'm not surprised by the way she reacted at first.

I can't remember her exact words because I was in some kind of shock at what she said. She had the most concerned look on her face...that disturbed me. She said "Why do you need to know my name? I don't even know you...I haven't seen you before in my life." My response was "Well I've seen you (kind of weird)." She asked me if I was following her...I fell into even deeper shock. This was surprising because I know for a fact that we have made eye contact before. So I was utterly confused at everything I was hearing.

I started to apologize franticly because her reaction made me feel like was doing something horribly wrong. I probably looked like a complete fool. This is when she started lightening up (didn't make much of a difference considering I was still in shock). She's said it was all okay and that it was just weird. She told me her name but it was just in one ear and out the other. I told her mine claiming she didn't care. She said she did. And then the last thing I said was "You have an incredibly vibe." Oh wow I can't believe I just said that haha. Well she smiled, and said thanks. But that was the end of that.

Still in shock, I feel my sadistic side come out. I felt like I needed to say something that would make her feel real bad about the whole thing. So I saw her again. This time when I went up to her she was smiling at me...this doesn't register with me at the time. And this is what I say...."You know what? You're really cold, Because actually it's not weird to want to make new friends." I walked away and those were the last words ever exchanged.

The next day I saw her at one point where I never see her..out of the blue. Like fate or something. I was running somewhere and I didn't see I was running toward her until I was real close and I noticed she was smiling at me again. However, again it did not register.
I was still incredibly pissed off that somehow I wasn't worth getting to know because I wasn't in any of her classes. Like we're complete strangers. There are 6 billion people in the world. One person who walks the same hallways as me in that world doesn't even want to meet someone new. Anger.
So these two souls only interactions ever had between them were negative.

Throughout the past month I have continued to see her in unusual places and times. Again I think of fate. But I only feel like that's a dead dream. She obviously notices me now whenever I'm around, I have no clue what she feels. Especially since I attacked her that day. But I've changed my route of travel during the school day to avoid her. I can't stand to see her because I get angry and upset again.

I have still not been able to get over the fact that our only interactions are negative ones plus very bizarre ones. I'm not like that at all. It's bothersome. I wish she was open at first. I hope I somehow opened her eyes to human relations.

I really want to change the negative interactions. I've thought about apologizing too her about calling her cold and some other things. But I'm afraid of her reactions again.

Any feedback? It's a weird thing I have done.

 

u cant really get anything about the situtation from these words

i think u might need to differentiate on whats in your head and whats not


on second thoughts maybe not, but if you want to talk to her just talk it gets easier every time you do it

 

hmm you dont have aspergars do ypou?

no offence

i would seriusly just try talking to her ..just say hey i dunno why i actred or felt so foolish around you but i just thought there might be something special about you and thought you were worth getting to know ..
smile and say hi

gooffy behavoir maybe endearring on occassion but continured it becomes a warning
and at 1st she already felt fear

i can tell u much from ypuir description though
she wont be an esasy 1 to know but if u let go of the anger and frustration and just accept it will be so worthwhile

 

Offense taken, I don't have a social disorder. She probably does for accusing someone who wants to know her of following her. In reality, I don't think I'm ever gonna talk to her again in my life and that's what bothers me. But I'll be okay.

And no it won't be easier every time because I have asperger syndrome. hmmm

 

unless say, shes had stalkers or peeping toms before and is a bit paranoid about them. i know i am, having had one in the past

sounds like youre both socially awkward, tbh. going up to her and making an out of the blue attack on her is, well, gonna be hard to overcome. the best you can do is start having regular, positive interactions (i wouldnt call the first one negative necessarily, moreso just awkward/neutral which happens in HS), or else just forget about her since it doesnt really sound like you want to have anything to do with her... youd rather have her on the pedestal of being a beautiful distant woman who you cant have because the effort is too much...
like youre just feeling bad over how things went down and you want some peace o fmind, but not to actually be friends with her or anything

 

You approached her in entirely the wrong way! No wonder she thought you were a stalker. I have social problems too, but I've taken the time to think about how I should word a sentence.
You shouldn't have said that to her about her being cold. She was only protecting herself from what seems like a messed up guy. She was entirely right in the way she reacted. YOU'RE the one who was wrong. You didn't show any respect for her, you only made it known what YOUR feelings were.

Here's what you should have said: "Hi, I'm so&so. What's your name?"
If the situation went on you could have said: "I've seen you around and you just seem interesting to me. Wanna hang out?"

If you treated me like that the first time we met, I wouldn't want to hang out with you either.

 

Agreed.
You went about it all wrong. Telling someone you NEED to know their name because you've "seen them"... well... that's just creepy. I don't blame her for asking if you were following her. It just sounds creepy.
Calling her cold was also totally out of line.

 

If you want to fix things, apologize to her (only if you mean it) and ask if you can start over. Politely ask her name and then ask her if she wants to hang out. She sounds like she's a bit wary to meet new people, so you need to understand that. Maybe she's shy. It's her prerogative if she wants to hang out with you or not.

Though the fact that she's smiling probably means that she's flattered that you like her, so you may have a chance. Just treat her with more respect the next time.

 

I didn't say there was anything wrong with his infatuation, but the way he approached her was rude. A girl will react negatively if a man approaches her disrespectfully without any regard for her feelings.

I don't know how this makes me a conformo dolt though.

 

Thanks for your input everyone. Even the ones who claim I was disrespectful...even when I apologized too her when I realized I weirded her out. Which is unnecessary regardless if I seemed like a stalker. I WAS out of line to call her cold though thats why I want to apologize. I said that.

But I think I'll just be able to get over the whole thing because I haven't really expressed this to anyone until now. It feels like that's what I needed. So apparently I'm a creep and socially awkward, oh well, too bad for me. There aint shit I am going to do about that. I'm way too happy to think that those are bad things I have going for me. There are so many good people in my life.

Listen though. I don't care that you think I was the one who was wrong because the way I approached her lacked respect. Can you tell me what harm I intended? Neither of us were wrong in the way we acted. She was "protecting" herself from someone who was messed up and I was defending myself against someone who thought that about me when all I was trying to do was meet someone new and interesting. Christ.
I'm so creepy, awkward, disrespectful...what am I to do with myself?

 

Without regard for her feelings? Jesus christ I apologized immediately like a fool and it wasn't necessary. What are you trying to say about me?
Your expectations are too great for this story.

 

I didn't say you intended her any harm. I know you don't. Next time make sure she knows that.
I don't think you're a bad person, you just need to work on your communication skills.
So do I.

 

Well no, call me stubborn. I usually am open to suggestions. But if people don't like how I communicate then fine. They don't have to talk to me. Like that girl. She doesn't like my communication skills so she doesn't talk to me. This is one person in my life that I wanted to befriend and was not able to. I'm not gonna ever think bad of my communication skills. Because I'm not friendless. Infact my friends are great...I tend to think they're better than other people. But really I'm just really happy with them.

If you feel like you need to work on your communication skills then go for it. But count me out.

 

If you don't want to change, that's fine. I'm not friendless either. But sometimes I don't communicate properly and I'm always open to learning how to talk to people better.
Is that how you always approach people? Or was it just her because you were nervous?
All we're saying is, next time don't approach her demanding her name. Ask.

Oh, and that girl doesn't not like you because of your communication skills. She just may not be sure of your intentions. Just be clearer.

 

my advice is try not to react to these things in anger. anger puts a barrier between you and others. it doesn't help you get what you want, it makes it harder. we all experience awkward exchanges in social situations at times, and we all learn from them. it's not that you have to change yourself, it's just that you have to learn to adapt to certain situations to get what you want out of them. it's just like learning how to operate a certain type of latch so you can open a certain door. you're not 'changing' yourself, you're just learning and adapting to the situation.

 

I'm not concerned with language, what should be, or what's proper. That's all the advice I'm getting from you. If I went up to her acting like she's special and that I'm really curious as to who she is then that's me. She didn't like that. It doesn't warrant a change on my communication skills like there's a proper way.

 

well, if you don't want to know that you scared her or how to stop scaring women with your approach, that's your choice i guess. good luck to ya.

 

Jesus fucking christ. What do you think I do...go up to women all day scaring them? This was one person. If she got scared by me. Oh well. I creeped out one person. Tough shit. I'm a weirdo and I knew that before all this. I have important factors of change in my mind as it is and I'm not feeling this communication skills one considering there's so many people I have been able to make friends with out of the blue. Hell, Wandering Soul you don't have any idea about the tone of the situation or anything. My approach was anything but rude, it was incredibly sincere. Anyone could have recognized that sincerity and would have been interested in what I had to say.

I'm kind of offended that you think I was rude considering all I was doing was showing a sincere interest in someone.

 

if you only want happyhappy flowery answers, this aint the place. and sinc eyouve got more than a dozen posts, it shouldnt be hard to figure out by now...

sincerity aside, your approach was awkward as hell. managing awkward situations can be, well, difficult. youve basically said that approaching her again is more work than you feel like bothering with, so i dont really know what you want - you dont want contact with her, so what do you need advice on?

 

Nothing really anymore. No one really gave me advice I could use. Just criticism I could use if I turned back time. I'm not looking for any certain response anymore. It's interesting hear all these people assure my creepiness. I suppose it's good I got the story out. I just needed some outlet.

I was hoping maybe some advice on what to do next considering she was smiling. Indicating she actually might have been flattered. I originally said that that didn't really register. But I have no clue..I'm not 100% sure I don't want to put in more effort. I tried avoiding her a lot because I didn't want to give the impression that I WAS following her. I feel bad for calling her cold though. Whether or not I want to...I SHOULD apologize.