Hey guys. To start things off, i might as well introduce myself! My name's Nate, im 17, living in the Philadelphia suburbs, PA. Deep down, i feel i've been a hippie for a year or so now, although i've only really acknowledged it in the past 6 months. I don't dress like it, or try to be a different person- it only seems the values have defined who i am. I was raised catholic, with typical parents and typical ideals. "Work hard, do good in school, be rich." I used to struggle, and still do, about what i'm to really become- it's obvious i've been brainwashed into needing that comfort of knowing what i will do for society. Recently it really clicked that i don't NEED a lot of money- i don't NEED perfect grades, or a perfect education, and deep down i'm not content with my life. My mentality towards life, my future, and my goals have changed drastically, and it's made me a much different person. This is a good thing- but to the people around me, who once knew me as someone i am no longer, did not accept this. I am now stuck with a girlfriend with much different values, and only a few friends that share any of the same beliefs. The one friend who i thought was on the same page as me has become obsessed with weed (i smoke every day, but it is not my life) And puts money, food, and selfish needs above all other things. My girlfriend, when we talked about meditation, responded with, "Meditation is stupid. it's just making your mind quiet. how does that help you deal with stress?" I have been with her for almost 2 years, and it's hard to break free, although i know were on vastly different mental levels. I've been searching for people who share the same values as i do- i dream of sitting in the woods, meditating with close friends, sharing good times together, rather than living an illusion and trying to act as a different person for friends who are vastly different than i. But, i haven't found these friends. Those who i see a strong compatibility with seem impossible to start a friendship with, stuck behind barriers that are too hard to break down. I know that my life will change when i leave home, but it makes the remainder of my high school education seem long, sad, and lonely. Sorry for the long text guys, just had to vent about some things that have been on my mind. But, for those of you who are or have been in this situation, lemme know what you think. Thanks guys, peace!
this is exactly where i am in life. im 17 as well and i live in bakersfield CA. i lost my best friend in the whole world over our differing values and beliefs. he and i had been best friends for FIVE years. but being friends with him made it difficult to be who i was and i had to break free from that. and growing up, ive been told the same thing by my parents: get good grades, go to college, get a good job and make as much money as possible. they believe in working their lives away in order to save money for when they are older but that seems so incredibly backwards to me. why waste your whole life working and making money for the time in your life when you aren't as able to go out and actually enjoy life? the significance of life, to me, is to experience as much as humanly possible and meet as many people as you can and just enjoy life. i dont see the need to waste my life worrying about what ill do when im older. because by then, who the fuck cares? at least ill have done what i wanted to do and seen the things i wanted to see. anyway my advice to you, though it might be difficult, is to either talk to your friends and try to get them to accept you for who you are or, if that doesnt work, you need to figure out if they are in any way stopping you from being who you are and if they are, you need to get away from them. thats what i had the most difficulty with. you just have to understand that if you spend your life trying to please them, they aren't going to be as affected by it as you. they will remember the things you do for a short amount of time but you will be the only one dealing with the consequences for the rest of your life. anyway it was weird reading this cause i swear this is the exact same situation i've been dealing with over the past few months. and by the way, the sitting in the woods and meditating thing sounds AWESOME. haha by the way if your new to the forum, ive recently discovered that its the most amazing site in the history of the world. its made me feel so much better about everything. i highly suggest checking it everyday. its a day brightener. peace&love, Penelope
Well man, you're taking the first steps, waking up and learning to find the things which are truly important to you and your happiness. Congrats and welcome to Hip Forums. :cheers2: Just my two cents but I think the both of you might possibly benefit from this book, http://www.scribd.com/doc/4000379/Roger-Stephens-A-Dangerous-Book Kinda' lays out how to spot those energy leaches in our lives and send them on their merry little way with as little pain as possible. Most helpful on the path to self fulfillment.
I, coincidentally, am also 17 (until April 3rd) and in much the same situation. I want something totally different out of life than what I'm getting at home but I feel totally confined. I can't just break free from all my family and friends. I'd feel way too guilty. I don't want to turn this post into a pissing contest though , just wanted to let you know I feel you. Feel free to hit me up if you wanna chat.
TheSeeker17, yes, to change is a good thing, and to act on the changes that you feel are more real than the half-hearted life around you. To feel and fully accept the aloneness is vital; also honour those who at time may appear as the wrong people. They too will change just each in their own time. And like minded people to connect with will show when you just go ahead ... as you walk alone all the way, yet also in the company of many in spirit. Just a thought. Wishing you well on your journey !
Hi Nate. I am really glad you posted. I am not one to respond all too often, mainly my avoidance of this internet thing for the most part. I think you are in exactly the right place at the right time. Please keep thinking for yourself and please keep that beautiful passion within you alive. What high school friends think, or college or out of college matters nothing. What you feel in your soul and when you lay your head down to rest, that is what matters. You are not alone. Many of us of all walk of race, hair length, color, poverty level and anything else believe like you do. do not be afraid to be alone sometimes. Discover all the beauty of yourself, even of sometimes it's not so pretty. Never be afraid to live your dreams, challenge yourself and others. A candle is lit for you. Namaste,
Altho I am far removed from your age, and the moment of time that I was your age was much different, I can relate to your dilemma - because most ppl go thru that at some point. I went thru it at the age of 25 - tho the feelings you express were gnawing at me for some time prior. When I was a teen in HS, we lived in more oppressive times. I joined the Air Force three days after graduating because all guys had the draft looming over them. Became a cop after that because it was a smooth transfer for the regimented young man. Then I dropped out - started experimenting with drugs and hangin' with like-minded ppl of a mind I had not yet explored and had gone against the "values" in which I was indoctrinated. It was easier for me since I was an adult, living on my own and removed from past relationships in a distant city. You are experiencing the same transformation while still enmeshed in the life you seem to be leaving. Just hang in there, graduate with as high a grade as you can (yes, it will prove valuable some day) and then strike out on your different path. Friendships will change as you travel thru life. Ppl change and go their separate ways, meeting different ppl who will travel a while (or forever) with them - but ultimately your journey is yours. Don't let someone else hold you back from that trip. You will always find others, as seen here on this thread, traveling the same direction. (BTW, TheSeeker17, you write well. If you don't pursue that professionally, I hope you explore it as an outlet to express your experiences)
Hey guys, these responses have been so enlightening, the weight has almost been lifted off my shoulders, i can't thank you guys enough! I just woke up, gonna have to head into work in 2hrs, decided to check my thread and see if i got any responses. But WOW, i didn't expect such helpful feedback, i really appreciate it. I'm gonna read this post a lot now, before bed in particular. Being caught up with school, work, etc. it's so hard to keep strong in one direction, so this thread will definitely be a big help . A friend of mine, ian, has always had very strong vibes. Being around him seems to amplify my energy, and the great thing is, i introduced him to meditation the other day, and he's taken it into full use. I will definitely keep a close friendship with him. I will really improve on staying true to what i feel. Honest to god, i feel like my heart is belongs in nature. I feel so confined living in a house sometimes, that i have to go get some air or even sleep outside . Hiking has been such a passion of mine, that i'll walk all over the place just to see, feel, hear, and be. I absolutely love exploring as well- i remember my parents reactions when i told them several years ago, that i wanted to be a trucker, or biker for that matter. And now- i wanna go from coast to coast, mountaintop to mountaintop, in a big psychedelic bus full of happy people It's become a real dream, to, for at least part of my life, to live off the grid, and get truly in touch with myself, and close friends. But, until the day i depart into the great world, i will do the best to find myself, and do what's right for me, not for my friends. Thanks again for the responses guys! And thanks for the compliments about my writing, i'll have to post some of the poetry i have. Message me on AIM at fizznfire122 if you wanna chat, it's always nice to converse with like- minded people.
Glad to hear ur head is in the right place. Just remember on that psychedelic bus trip - all will not be rosy and loving all the time. Usually somebody gets stuck with washing the dishes and resents it.
Hahah oh i'm sure of it . No matter what, there will be hard times, but i'm ready for it. I'm not willing to let a couple meager details ruin an otherwise amazing journey.
thats what im gonna do! my friend and i are graduating in june and we're getting some form of van [i've been warned against VW's because they break down a lot and are too expensive to fix] and we're gonna paint it and just travel everywhere. you are completely welcome to join us if you are ever interested.
Well I grew up in the shadow of a Naval Airstation during the coldwar to hippie parents. I got an earring at 13 (I'm a guy) and spent most of my adolesence being chased by rednecks in pickup trucks screaming "Die Faggot." (I'm Straight). I was spit on, Body checked into lockers and endured every form of abuse imaginable. But I still have pictures of me wearing a Dashiki on my graduation day 26 years ago. I traveled to europe. Did err..Spent a year in Miami (felt like jail to me). I grew up closer to the Biker end of hippiedom. I learned to meditate and talk of spirituality in highschool. Felt out of place in most spiritual groups because I wasn't middle aged or middle class. I even feel out of place among some hippies. But one thing I've learned is it isn't allways cold outside. And being alone aint so bad. You're halfway between me and birth. And I'm halfway between you and death. It gets better. Fuck if you find yourself in Berkeley PM me we'll smoke the peace pipe I'll share some of my experience and send you on your way. Peace Out, Rev J
I would absolutely love to join you guys . if you end up on the east coast, be sure to get in touch with me and i'll undoubtedly join you.
im not even kidding. right now its just my friend scarlet and i and we want more people to come with us when we leave. so when we graduate ill tell her we're going to PA. haha
