Love Poem....(not what you'd imagine)

You are a sweet fragrant harlot
who, in her rage sways from morning dew
to noon’s own Mellon collie.
Her, the vacant harpy,
who tempts me like a siren
with no word or song.
Like nights sailors
do we, on hearing melody
become swayed from path to ruin.
From the highest mountains
where Hermes roams
and gods dine on sweet narcotic fruits
can her serpent love be found.



This is a work in progress at the moment, and theres more to come, but comments are more than welcome

 

I like what ya have here so far, curious about the progress. I like the diction and the opening is quite solid.

 

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Anyway, I think your poems awesome. Enchantic is a good word for it. I think it would help if you flowed more..you should put more detail in or information... I liked it a lot. sorry about the above.
<3

 

thanks both, its an angry poem, which explains the sometimes irratic flow..

 

Enjoyed the archetypal unconscious tidal pulls,
see afterimages of lunatic-strength of Moon
and eroding justice of Ocean.

 

'vacant harpy' and 'sweet narcotic fruits' are quite effective.

I love the allusions to Greek mythology. Who *is* this intriguing lady??