Man Cheats On Wife With Picnic Table

(AP) Monday, March 31, 2008

A married father of three faces indecency charges after allegedly having sex with a picnic table.

Art Price Jr, 40, was seen doing the dirty with the garden furniture at his home in Bellevue, Ohio, on four occasions by a neighbour.

The neighbour, who hasn't been named, says that he saw Mr Price turning the table over before performing the sex acts on it.

Police officer Matt Johnson said: 'He was completely nude. He would use the hole from the umbrella and have sex with the table.'

Just to add a touch of class to his furniture-copulation, Price reportedly carried out his naked table-boffing in broad daylight, very close to a local school.

The fourth time, the neighbour videotaped the alleged table-sexing as evidence.

Officer Johnson commented: Once you think you've seen it all, something else comes around (end)

Hotwater

 

yeah i read about that...couch bombing your table eh?...thats fucked up i must say...

 

the neighbor taped it.. Yeah, he's not going to use that for other purposes...


poor guy can't even get some alone time with his table without someone telling on him...

 

Imagine what his wife must think


Hotwater

 

that the umbrella hole is tighter than she is? after three kids and no kegals, she's probably built like a bucket of water.

 

moral of the story...
if you're gonna shag you're patio furnature...bring the loving inside please...

 

I cant see that feeling good.

 

Am I the only one who would think it's no big deal if I saw someone doing that..? I definitely wouldn't call the police...

 

you aren't the only one....the poor man needs to get his loving somehow...

 

I wouldn't either but there are a lot of prudes and conservatives in this country.

 

I think Im going to get sick :&

 

and also: how is it cheating? I would get my husband one of those fake pussy toys if he really wanted to feel good on his own.

 

Still through he doesn’t know where that picnic table has been



Hotwater

 

people always want to police other people I guess... I just wouldn't have thought nothing of it, well, of course I would have laughed some but that is all...
I'm so going to hump my outdoor furniture tonight and see if anyone calls the cops because god forbid I am in my own property doing what I want and not hurting anyone.. Neighbors are spies...

 

i prefer the real thing a thank a you...

 

So you're thinking she's probably frigid


Hotwater

 

Thank god

 

But we know he went back for more


Hotwater

 

i'm glad someone appreciated my joke.

 

probably like throwing a hotdog down a hallway...