I found out I was pregnant on Monday, we took two tests to make sure. Both were very definitely positive. It would have been me and my husband's second child together. Yesterday, I miscarried the child and the process is still going on now. I am still passing foetal tissue and small amounts of blood. I've been to hospital to be checked out and they've taken blood for pregnancy hormones, but they are pretty sure it's over. I've never known a pain so much as losing my child. I've never understood until now. All I can do is keep strong for my little girl when inside I'm weak. I've had some pretty unsympathetic comments from people. One person said it was just a bunch of cells, and "at least I didn't get attached". Another scolded me for getting pregnant again at all. I guess people don't understand the pain of losing your baby.
I don't want to sound insensitive, but to extend my empathy to you. I am glad to know that you are being strong for your child, but I must ask you to also be good to your body, keep telling yourself that you love yourself, even all through this. I don't have the answers as to why things happen. But I do think it's important not to blame your body. If you could imagine yourself surrounded by loving kindness and meditate on that whenever possible, in the long run, in time I do believe it will help.
I had a miscarriage back in march, and even though I wasn't with the guy "officially" and I don't have any kids, so I don't know what it's like to be a parent really. It was still one of the most heartbreaking things. Stay strong, and seriously people make me so mad these days.. I took a lot of time off, and just tried to relax and, you know that your partner and whoever else is there for you
Thanks for the support. It's been tough lately. I'm feeling really weak and ill after the miscarriage. I've seen a doctor and got the all clear, but they want me to return on Monday for a second blood sample, as they're testing the pregnancy hormones. They're seeing what viability there is of the pregnancy, but they said the likelihood is that it's died. I don't see how it can be viable with all the foetal tissue that's been passed. My husband is clinging to blind hope that it can still be viable but I'm expecting the worst. I can't possibly see how I can still be pregnant now. Emotionally, I'm better. A lot better. I'm still obviously feeling pretty crap about what's happened but things happen for a reason, and this child would probably had chromosomal problems or genetic problems or anything, we can never know. But for whatever reason my child had to die, it was probably for a good reason. Also, my little daughter Hannah needs me to be a mother for her now. That's more important to me, getting her fed, clothed, sleeping well and bathed. I can never get her little brother or sister back and that will be with me the rest of my life, but my little girl is here now and she needs me to look after her and be there for her first. In the mean time I need to let myself heal. It's hard, I hate being weak and under the weather and right now I'm so weak I can barely walk for long. Add to that Hannah's sleeping patterns. She's up until 4 or 5am playing with her teddies and rattles in her cot and I have to keep an eye on things. She cries for my attention anyway if I don't! So I'm probably not getting a lot of sleep either. But I'm a fighter. I'm soldiering on and being strong. I have no choice.
Momma girl, you need to sleep! and so does Hannah! How much sleep is she getting in a 24 hour period? If it's less than 12-14, it's not healthy. But it can be fixed. There are a couple of books that give ways to help babies sleep longer without being cruel to them. One is called the No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley. She's got a lot of good ways to get baby to sleep. Because momma needs to sleep too! *hugs* I'm so sorry you are in this place. No one deserves this pain. And I won't say you'll get over it. But I will say that you are in a good place with it, and you will be a great mother and woman for the experience. *hugs again* Be gentle with yourself for a while, and hug your beautiful baby. My thoughts are with you.
Thanks for your reply. I've been constantly giving Hannah big kisses and cuddles and telling her how much I love her and always will do. For some reason this is helping me too, I guess because I'm proving to myself I can still be a good mother while I'm going through all this agony. I'd love to get some sleep earlier though, I'll admit. Sleeping at 5am is pretty hard to say the least, but at the very least she sleeps all the way through the night and won't be up until something like 1:30pm the next day. I know that isn't ideal, but it's been impossible so far to get her out of the habit. Hopefully it will be better when she is a little older.
