I found out just over a week ago that I am expecting again. I have a ten month old daughter, who happened to be a pill baby. My husband and I weren't ready for her, and consequently have had a bit of a rough patch. We both are crazy about our little girl, but our entire lives revolve around her, and it's been a lot of adjust to. Our relationship seems to be back on the upward side of good. And then I found out I was pregnant. We weren't really ready for two for a host of reasons, but we were pretty calm and happy about it anyways. Anyhow, I think I'm miscarrying right now. I hate doctors. I hate military doctors/tricare even more, so I'm just going to wait it out. There's not much anybody can do for me at this point anyhow. I've had one previous miscarriage, and it was emotionally exhausting. I guess there isn't really a point to this thread. Having a fetus essentially die inside of you is really a difficult thing to deal with. I suppose I am just emotionally babbling at this point...
:grouphug: its not easy, especially if your alone. Hopefully your husband can support you through it. Focusing on your little girl really helps. If you need to chat just PM me, I have a medical condition which has put me in your situation too many times. X
I just am curious; if you were on the pill, you obviously didn't want kids, right? I've always planned that if birth control were to fail I would get an abortion, was that not an option? Not meaning to be cruel but if you get pregnant and you don't want to, the humane and sensible thing to do would be to continue to not have kids.
Get some medical attention just in case the bleeding is bad. I'm sorry for what you're going through. No matter how unprepared for another baby, losing one is still very emotional. Hugs!!!
About 60% of births in this country were from unplanned pregnancies--they do not all end in child abuse cases. It is wrong to assume that because a baby was unplanned their life will automatically be a tragedy and they're better off aborted. If she were a violent, drug-addicted psycho, I can see the argument that abortion would be more humane, but for many women it's not an option they want just because a pregnancy was unplanned. It's also really easy to speculate what you would do if you got pregnant unexpectedly, but the fact is you just don't know what you would do until it happens. It would be nice if we could all plan everything and say for sure what we would do when the unexpected happens, but life doesn't work that way--it's not that neat and linear. She obviously loves her little girl, so something tells me she doesn't regret not getting an abortion. Many times--no, not always--but many times, people change their tune when the baby arrives. Love and instinct typically take over and they realize their life has changed but has certainly not ended.
Frieden - I really hope you are okay. Sappho - abortion carries emotional consequences and is not the right choice for everyone. It isn't really yours or anyone else's place to question that decision.
I'm really sorry you are going through this. I also encourage you to seek medical care as sometimes miscarriages don't result in everything coming out and you may require a D/C. I hope you are doing okay and have someone close you can talk to. Unfortunatly miscarriage is horribly common and its sad whether the child was planned or a surprise.
Anyways.... I woke up early Monday morning to a lot of blood. Sunday, I was passing itty bitty clots. I called my doctor's office Monday morning. They wouldn't make an appointment with my PCM, because they won't see patients in regards to OB matters. I couldn't see an OB, because I didn't have a prior referral. I was set up to get my referral Tuesday. They suggested that I could always go off base to an ER. Wtf can the ER do? They would do an ultrasound and tell me I am/had miscarried. They wouldn't do a D&C at an ER, if by chance I needed one. That's what the freaking OB is for. I fucking hate government ran healthcare. My husband and I are doing ok. I'm still pretty sad about it all. I wasn't ready for another, but now that it's no longer there inside of me, I feel pretty empty and sad.
Yeah, it's hard. So sorry you have to go through that. Take special care of yourself for a while. Hormones will be crazy.
I'm sorry you're going through this, Frieden. There's no reason to fight here. This thread is about her loss and how she feels about it. It's not about what anyone else woulda, shoulda, coulda done. Leave her be and let her have her thread. Just because an unplanned pregnancy would be viewed differently and handled differently by someone else is no reason to argue. Everyone is different. Every situation is different. Be tolerant of our differences. Our differences give us an opportunity to learn from one another and develop understanding. Every place does not have to end up a battlefield. Please chill. :grouphug:
I gave birth to an unplanned child at age 15 I do not regret keeping her. She is very much loved. Frieden, I'm sorry for your loss. That must be terrible. If the blood is very bad I would go to the ER. Or at least an urgent care/ patient first time place. Stay strong as you can.
How are you doing Frieden? I definitely suggest you get some kind of check up, just to be on the safe side. Other than that, rest, pamper yourself, take your little one out on a fun day trip. Time is the best healer but sometimes we need distraction too. Hang in there, it gets better.
