Today would have been my brothers 23rd birthday, he commited suicide a year and half ago now after being sent to prison. My younger brother also died late last year of an overdose. He never coped after the death of our older brother and got heavily into drugs which were his ultimate downfall. me and my remaining siblings and my dad miss them so much. It doesnt seem to fade with time and i think of them both every day, although especially on the birthdays. I feel so sad and lonely without them but also feel angry for them leaving us behind. is that wrong? Has anyone else lost a love one and how do they cope with the sadness? Peace x
i am so sorry for your lost! my brother, father and, sister were all suicides. i too, have lost alot of my familiy members the same way and, IT SUPER SUCKS TOO! the way i would put it is, i have a hole in my personality from it. the hole has shrunk over time but, it will be with me for the rest of my life. it will never go away but, it does get somewhat better over time. each year about a month before my birthday i, start to think about them and, i feel guilty for still being alive. after my birthday passes i, start to think less and less about them. i never have been angery at them for killing themselves. they killed themselves to get away from my mother and the pain she caused! i was happy for them killing themselves because their suffering was over. don't be hard on youself. everything your going through is normal grief. it is quite normal to be mad at them and, it is ok too; that too is just the grief your going through so, don't beat yourself over the heads and shoulders for it... ok? keep checking back in here and, let us know how you are doing.
blackcat, thankyou for taking the time out to reply. and i'm equally sorry to hear of your losses and i completley agree with you about having a hole in your personality. it's like the space they used to fill, what they made me....and its just empty there now without them. my big brother looked after me through everything, and theres just so many things i wish i had said, things i wish i did which might mean they would both still be here. i feel guilty like you say too. but thankyou for your kind words, i guess we all just have to carry on, some days are just harder than others. x
I have not had any suicides in my family so I can't say that I can understand but I sure do feel for you. I wish you luck dealing with your hardships and I think that it is really good you are talking about your feelings. Good luck!
I'm sorry for your losses. So much for you to cope with. It's good you have your Dad and your siblings to hold close and take comfort in and grieve with. I lost my Mom to cancer in 1997, then 4 years after that my Dad died in his sleep, then 4 years after that my brother died of a combination of diabetes and HepititusC. I'm the only one left from the immediate family - and it gets quite lonely at times. **big hugs** to you.
this really hits by just reading about all the posts my uncle suicided but it was because he couldnt pay his college debts and he didnt know how to tell my grandmother that he was not going to graduate the year he was soposed to and yea my mom and dad are fighting because of a outsider coming into our family (filthy woman destroying our family) and ruin everything im also angry at my father for acting like such a child and thinking he is right and being proud to have two women and giving that outsider money my family owes 1 mil. to the bank recently because this happened..the first time we had proof was because i caught them talking on the phone it was terrible i couldnt let my younger brother hear
